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Does your heart ever still hurt because you miss someone you lost?

I lost someone very close to me nearly a year ago and it still hurts like hell. The anniversary is next week. I've had real ups and downs. Naturally feeling low as the first year comes close to passing. I miss them so much it physically hurts. I just wanna cry. I just want to talk to them. But I've been told over and over again that it's been a year and I should just get over it. It's been so long I can't be sad anymore. That's not fair.
Carissimi · F Best Comment
Whoever (or maybe it’s whomever...I can’t remember at this point) is saying that to you, is cold and heartless. I’d give them a wide berth. Grief is personal to the person grieving. There is no set time for healing. It’s your heartache, and it will diminish over time, in your own time. Don’t feel like there is something wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with you. It took me 7-years to heal from one loss, and it’s been 3-years since my most recent loss, and I still miss him terribly. It doesn’t hurt every day like it once did, but I get phases of grief every now and again. I’m in one now. I’m sorry for your loss. 🤗
PandorasBox · 31-35, F
@Carissimi thank you x
Carissimi · F
Thank you for BA, and take good care of yourself. 💐@PandorasBox
Moonpenny · F
@Carissimi Well said 🌹

hunkalove · 61-69, M
I miss the love of my life. We broke up in 1992 and I still miss her.
Magenta · F
Yes indeed.
It doesn't matter if it's been a hundred years. Your feelings are yours and others have no business telling you what and when you should feel something. 💙
luctoretemergo · 61-69, M
I had several colleagues that died on 9/11. One woman in particular was a broker, she would come to my city for dinner and she always paid...she was a million dollar producer and I was just a scrub but she treated me like gold just for being her rep. Anyway, to this day, I still think about her almost every day. To think she died the way she did over some "religious war", etc. it just saddens me that someone would be so heartless and cruel to be driven to do such a thing. Anyway - thanks for reading. Cherish life.
greenmountaingal · 70-79, F
I miss my stepfather. He died in 1963, right before the presidential assassination. My mother wrongly blamed me for his death. She never got over his loss nor did she forgive me for what she believed was my part in causing his death. I miss him every single day. He was a wonderful person in my life.
greenmountaingal · 70-79, F
@Carissimi She used to punish me by making our holidays miserable over the years, especially Christmas, because he always went out of his way to make Christmas, and other holidays, happy occasions. I had some reall god awful Christmas Days. She once wreccked my house until the neighbors called the police from the noise of her screaming at me and breaking furniture. People usually blamed me for these scenes, assuming I was just a very bad daughter.
Carissimi · F
It’s tragic to have an abusive mother like this. I’m sorry. @greenmountaingal
greenmountaingal · 70-79, F
@Carissimi Thank you. It means a lot to me to get this support online; never had anyone support me in this before the Internet.
At times I miss my mom and my dad immensely. I know they have peace now so that is best. Sometimes I tear up or cry. But I was blessed to have them in my lives for a long, long time. So I am grateful. I also know that they are watching me from heaven and are happy with this. I miss some people who have died. I hope that they know how much I loved them. Grief has no time limits. It is individual. You take as long as you need, Pandora. It might take forever. And that is the truth.
RubySoo · 56-60, F
Oh yes....every day xx
Pandora. I have a suggestion that might help you. When I miss someone who has died and whom I loved, I go and I speak to them. I talk to them as if they were standing beside me. I tell them what my heart feels. I find it helps me to verbalize and I truly believe they can hear me. It brings me comfort. Try it. You might find it helps you. And grizzly bear hugssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss....
greenmountaingal · 70-79, F
@PoetryNEmotion I'd never thought of that. Thanks for a good practical bit of advice. I will definitely try it.
@greenmountaingal Let me know if it helps. I know it does me! You are welcome.
PandorasBox · 31-35, F
@PoetryNEmotion I find myself doing that sometimes without even realising it 💕
smiler2012 · 61-69
pandorasbox yes my dad he passed sudden and it took as a very long time to get over it it is better now but the date he passed are his birthay fathers day christmas day are all difficult days obviously
Adaydreambeliever · 56-60, F
You are right, it's not fair! There is no limit on how long we can miss someone. For some they can get over it easily and for others they may take years and never fully get over the loss.
jaymic64 · M
Yes. Three years this month
Miss my parents and talking to my mom.
IHateMyLife0MeDie · 41-45, M
Yes, very much so...
SW-User
Yes ... I miss her terribly.
JupiterDreams · 31-35
Yes 🙁🤗
SW-User
Yes. I actually needed a psychologist to help get out of depression caused by loss
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