Does your heart ever still hurt because you miss someone you lost?

I lost someone very close to me nearly a year ago and it still hurts like hell. The anniversary is next week. I've had real ups and downs. Naturally feeling low as the first year comes close to passing. I miss them so much it physically hurts. I just wanna cry. I just want to talk to them. But I've been told over and over again that it's been a year and I should just get over it. It's been so long I can't be sad anymore. That's not fair.

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

greenmountaingal · 80-89, F

I miss my stepfather. He died in 1963, right before the presidential assassination. My mother wrongly blamed me for his death. She never got over his loss nor did she forgive me for what she believed was my part in causing his death. I miss him every single day. He was a wonderful person in my life.

Carissimi · F

That’s a terrible burden to put on a child. I’m sorry your mother blamed you. That adds another layer to the grief. @greenmountaingal

greenmountaingal · 80-89, F

@Carissimi She used to punish me by making our holidays miserable over the years, especially Christmas, because he always went out of his way to make Christmas, and other holidays, happy occasions. I had some reall god awful Christmas Days. She once wreccked my house until the neighbors called the police from the noise of her screaming at me and breaking furniture. People usually blamed me for these scenes, assuming I was just a very bad daughter.

Carissimi · F

It’s tragic to have an abusive mother like this. I’m sorry. @greenmountaingal

greenmountaingal · 80-89, F

@Carissimi Thank you. It means a lot to me to get this support online; never had anyone support me in this before the Internet.