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When you’re at your lowest how do you pick yourself back up and keep going?

After another long term relationship has ended and i’m left wondering again what the hell went wrong.... how do I get over this? I’m struggling to see the light
Zaphod42 · 46-50, M
BLEED!!! Haven't seen you since EP!!! Sorry to hear of the break up, but it's his lose. You rock socks, girl 🤘
Zaphod42 · 46-50, M
@Bleed Likewise! Hope all is well with you and the minions! And seriously, if that guy couldn't handle a full metal bottle of awesome sauce like you then it's his lose. Give yourself a minute to catch your breath and then just be you 🤗
Bleed · 41-45, F
The minions are all good. He was the reason I left EP 6 years ago, I was so happy and just didn’t have time anymore. I lost contact with my internet friends then gradually my real friends have moved away or settled down. He became my everything and now I don’t have anyone. I’m really struggling. I don’t know what happened to the independent badass I use to be.
Zaphod42 · 46-50, M
@Bleed I know how that can go...that kind of bliss is easy to get lost in. I'm sure your badassery will return in time...you are after all the original Bleed...but six years is a long time and it's gonna take a little bit to remember who you are without him. Meanwhile, at least a good chunk of EP found it's way here and even WhisperingSunshine pokes her head in from time to time 😊
DragonFruit · 61-69, M
One day at a time.
I’ve been in very bad shape mentally, physically and economically at times....but the transition to having things be better in life is not instantaneous. Take a step forward, then try to make sure that you have moved forward more than backward.
You said [b]another[/b] long-term relationship....I’m sure you felt very low after the first one, but eventually got to a point that you could have another one. Try not to dwell on what went wrong, but on what you did right and what you can do even better at.
It’s not easy, and there will be days that you don’t move forward....but don’t give up on what’s really important (yourself).
Eddiesolds · 61-69, M
You gotta just keep getting up.keep moving and if you have to cry,just do it!.Go hide if you have too.Time doesn't just stop for us.Just try to keep moving.Just one day at a time.Sorry to hear it.
SW-User
Turn the music up...metal does the trick for me..and LOUD!
Bleed · 41-45, F
@SW-User I love metal too! But now I need to find someone else to go to gigs with 😩
Grief takes its own time.
Although there is no right time or rule,
a general average is one month for every year of the relationship
The important thing is not to jump straight into another relationship while still grieving.

It helps to take the time to learn whatever lessons the experience offers.
It starts with being honest about one's own role in what happened.
How did you first get attracted to him?
What first attracted him to you?
What were the very first signs that something wasn't right?
What kinds of dynamics and habits of communication and behavior developed between you?
How did you fit into and trigger one another's unconscious patterns?
What new skills could you learn to make things better next time?
How will you go about learning and practicing them?

Psychology Today is a free online magazine with articles written by specialists on almost every topic relating to emotions, relationships and how our minds work.
SW-User
If this is recent, allow yourself the time to heal, we don't all function the same way, we walk in different paces.. and it's okay to be slow. The light comes in tiny slivers, not all at once, find an outlet.. somewhere where you can talk and express yourself freely and hang on to the little things that help you through, you'll find them.
Bleed · 41-45, F
Thank you!
goliathtree · 56-60, M
I spent probably 4 years wondering what I did wrong and why my kids went so wrong. I finally came to the realization that there was nothing I had done or could do to change things and I wiped my tears and moved on. Hope does not always spring eternal. Sometimes we are forced to find a new path or lie down and give up. Here is hoping that new path is at your feet and that it is a happy one.
MrBrownstone · 46-50, M
I listen to music and let time heal.
Elegy · 46-50
Know that it isn't the end. Learn from your mistakes and use them to good effect for the next relationship. Know that it's over because it needed to be and it would have been worse if it had gone on.
JoeyFoxx · 51-55, M
I need to dig up the garden to find some shamrocks.

6 years. Holy shit.

Transitions are hard. You’re still a badass. You just need to shake off some rust.
It is difficult when you depend on someone you loved and they leave.
You make good decisions for yourself at that point.
GeistInTheMachine · 31-35, M
I know how you feel. You're not alone, and you're going to get though it.
ButterRobot · 51-55, M
No magic bullet. You just have to soldier on until time heals things a bit.
carsonfry · 22-25, M
OMG, BLEED!! You are back with SW. I remember you from EP!!!
carsonfry · 22-25, M
I do too. This is not as good, but I do not EP Allie crawling up my ass all time anymore.

I have been suspended twice though.
Bleed · 41-45, F
No it’s not the same even though I have found a handful of my old circle. It’s harder to follow people here.
Suspended for what?
carsonfry · 22-25, M
Yeah, I find the same thing. I can not post to my old groups either. I guess I have to pay for that.

I forgot to mark the post adult a few times.
SteveTomms · 56-60, M
I get through things because I know I will get through things and I'm sure you will be the same

 
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