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Zaphod42

46-50, M

United States

In a Relationship

Straight

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4004 views · 89 followers · Online: Recently (date?)

Just a guy from earth. Definitely from earth.

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Do gods walk among us?

Recently met a man who claimed to be a demigod, with his only power being the ability to make plants thrive with no effort. He said that plants, regardless of how difficult they are to grow in this region, simply grow unreasonably well around him...

JohnOlinger has brought me a bottle of wine from 2078. It seems to will have been a great year! 🍷

I can’t believe my GF actually thinks I’m A.D…Aww, look at the puppy!!! 🐶🤗🥰

Are drive thru speakers required by law to be the worst quality currently available on the market? 🤔

If something happens, and by happening causes the exact same thing to happen again,

How can you know with absolute certainty that they happened in chronological order? 🤔

Good morning, SoCal!

I’ve just about survived a severe case of man flu!

I thought I was a goner, but I hadn’t counted on my two dedicated nurses, who pulled me through the worst of it 🥰

I have man-flu, and it’s terminal 😭

I don’t expect to make it to morning…it’s been nice knowing some of you 🤧

Bad news! My engine registered a misfire in cylinder two a few days ago!

Good news! It didn’t do it again that day, and I moved the ignition coil and spark plug to cylinder four to see if that cylinder registered a misfire. Bad news! It misfired again yesterday. Good news! It was in cylinder four, so it’s not a gasket...

Not now, ICU….

If I’ve translated these stickers correctly, this person is too busy to go to the intensive care unit… 😂

Does Big Foot believe in humans? 🤔

The new Porsche Ducati, from Toyota 😂

Vegan slaughter houses… 😅

Anyone ever feel like they’re still rock steady, but the world itself is bobbing around like a ship in a storm?

Vertigo is weird sometimes 🤕

How often are you part of a conversation that you really aren’t a part of?

GF: Babe… Me: Darling? GF: Can you pick me up at… Because I have a meeting at 2, so…. And then I’ll just ride home with… Me: You know you’re not actually finishing those thoughts verbally, right? GF: I’ll fill you in when I’ve finished the...

I washed my car this morning. You’re welcome, California 😂

Wildlife park seeks alternative food sources during shortage…

So my GF gave me a very stylish hat with LV printed all over it…

Me: what a great hat! And a 55 too! GF: 55?? Me: Yeah, it’s got 55 all over it in Roman numerals! GF: 🤦‍♀️ 😂

Few things in life are more touching than the look of unconditional love and trust your dog gives you 🥰

Ted Cruz is blaming Republican midterm losses on the younger generation getting out to vote. In other words….

So YouTube seems to have suddenly decided I’m a Spanish speaker…all the ads and a chunk of the recommended videos are in Spanish 😂

Fox and Friends: “Oz only lost because Fetterman won”

Some hard hitting genius analysis there guys 😂

Monday in California…

SoCal has some pretty good sunsets, but every now and then it’s pretty spectacular

You have to love the irony of this girl‘s career being elevated to a whole new level because of a Trumpanzee and a beer 😂

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