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Zaphod42

46-50, M

United States

In a Relationship

Straight

3548 views · 71 followers · Online: Recently (date?)

Just a guy from earth. Definitely from earth.

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So I’m sniffling, sneezing, have watery eyes, and the pollen app says it’s high levels today….

Is it covid? 🤔😂

Is 3D printed meat vegan friendly?

Thoughts to ponder:

I keep thinking about the tribal people of Sentinel Island who haven’t had contact with anyone in nearly 50,000 years. Not that I think it will, but just on the off chance that this virus ends up killing us all, they’ll be the only ones left 😲

Why did the chicken cross the road?

If I make two chicken cordon blue, and put a little marijuana in one of them, is that filling two birds with one stoned? 🤭

Thoughts to ponder:

The earth is orbiting the Sun at about 18,000 miles an hour, so if the comet that killed the dinosaurs had come through just two hours later there’s a good chance humans would never have evolved 😲

The Tonga volcano eruption was so powerful it sent a pressure wave around the world that could be tracked by weather monitoring stations 😲

Did Kenneth ever say what the frequency is? 🤔

A tsunami warning was just issued for the US west coast and Alaska from the volcanic explosion in Tonga!

Place your bets…will it be a noticeable wave this time, or another 1 foot over average swell like the last few? 😂

Can someone please tell my immune system to quit freaking out about the pollen count today? 😭🤧

If a woman who cheated on you tries to makes amends, is that a Shaw-skank Redemption? 🤔😂

Ruttin’ high pollen day 🤧

How often do you doubt the skills you know you have?

I just finished replacing the in line water shut off valves for the kitchen sink. I knew I had the tools and the talent, but not until I pressurized the lines was I at all sure it wouldn’t leak 😂

This winter, remember to take care of any colds you get!

A cold taken care of shouldn’t last you more than 7 days, but a cold left to ravage could last an entire week!

Is someone getting ready for the princess/pea test? 🤔

Anyone else use their dogs electric nail grinder to smooth out your own nail tips after trimming? 😅

It actually works well to take off the sharp points and snags that nail cutters leave behind 😂

Ok, so my covid test was negative. So why the hell have I had this damned headache for a week now?! 😭

Someone needs to tell the Sun to put its low beams on…92,000,000 miles away and it’s still blinding me 😅

It’s not Covid if you can keep it at bay with cough drops and ibuprofen and also you have bills coming due soon, righ?

I’ve decided to become a vegetarian for 2022. As such, for dinner tonight I’ll be having seared rosemary seasoned with salt, pepper and steak 😋

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to observe it,

Does the wave function of the forest as a whole expand into superposition until someone comes along to observe the fallen tree? 🤔

I’m considering giving myself a nose job, but I’m afraid I might blow it.

They should start using CRISPR for clothing manufacturing. I bet Levi’s genes are very comfortable.

I think the virus is trying to rebrand its image. Now it’s even sponsoring documentary shows!

I’m so hurt…the animal rights protestors wouldn’t let me join the protest!

And after I spent all night making a beautiful suede leather sign with mink tail fringes! 😔

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