thoughts on this???

@LadyGrace my parents also know about how bad the relationship is, but they always told you you can fix things by puttig God at the center of your relationship. It makes it even hard when the parents are involved we do not have our own home we live with my parents and I don’t wanna add up to their worries if I try to runaway with the kids. I’m really scared I wouldn’t be able to give them the life they deserve. So I always tell myself when they’ve grown and would understand things I’ll tell them I have to leave and then they’ll choose who to stay with. I don’t wanna bruise them right now they’re too young I have a 4 yr old and a 5month old son

@Sadmum09 yeah that's exactly what I told myself and boy was I super wrong. I can't tell you how wrong that is, that reasoning. And you have no idea how it tears children up when they grow up and have to make a choice and deal with a plethora of problems because of that choice. You have no idea. You're making it way worse. You have to think of yourself and those children, not what others will think because they are the ones that are suffering and you are too. I didn't have a place to go either. It's way way way better to do it now when they're young opposed to when they're older believe me. They don't have to hear the trauma of what all is going on. There's things that can be said and done without that and we can't just do things to please other people and worry about what they'll think at the expense of you and the children being emotionally and physically abused. It changes who children are when they are this abused and so much more. It is a time when you'll have to be brave and like I say there's a way to do it where you won't have it so hard I have been through all that. But to stay because of the children is the worst excuse of all because that's what somebody told me and I went through pure hell because of it and so did the children. That is not the way. There's many things and many hopeful things and people that can help you get through this it's not as hard as you think and I'll never forget the day I finally though I was fearful and scared and shaking in my boots, that I still in spite of all that trusted God and he saw me through because he didn't want me and the children in that pain one more second! You're not trapped. That's what he wants you to think and your parents don't have to go through what you're going through, you do. So they have no right to judge that and they can't know what is best for you and the children though they think they do. It's not them living through the fear and all. That's all I have to say. But if you stay and make excuses that's the very worst thing you could do for yourself and those children. I won't say anymore. You deserve a better and happier life and so do those children and you are their spokesperson and rescuer. You are the only one they have to rescue them from this bully and monster.

@Sadmum09 [quote]my parents also know about how bad the relationship is, but they always told you you can fix things by puttig God at the center of your relationship. [/quote]

Now is exactly the right time to take the children before they are more aware of what went on and they don't have to know that. We cannot burden the children with adult affairs. Yes my parents knew how bad the relationship was too but did they help me, no. Not one person helped me except the Lord. And I ask you....... With the Lord want you to stay and live with an abusive husband and father? These people don't change. They have everything exactly as they wanted and that's the only reason they don't want to lose you because they don't love you they think love is control and that's the only reason they want you to stay so they don't lose that control. These are narcissists and we don't want our children growing up learning narcissist ways and watching their mother get abused and thinking well that's just normal that's the way life is. God was always at the center of my life but not my husband's. That's not a relationship. What I'm saying is God is not the center of your relationship if your husband is not on board. I have always let the Lord lead me and I knew he would not want me to lose my health over this narcissist so-called husband of mine who was never a friend, and He blessed me and helped me completely get away and get my life in order. He went out of his way to help me. You have only yourself and the children to answer for, not anyone else.

@hartfire this is deep. but not an excuse. id rather be with someone who showers me with love and attention. not somone whos badly damaged.

@Sadmum09 Sure! :)
But love can exist where there is no wealth of any kind.
It shows in being interested in who you are,
caring about your well being,
accepting and allowing you to be who you are,
emotional openness and intimacy.

And you reciprocate equally in kind.

A person who is badly damaged isn't ready for relationship until they've healed.
But merely being bruised and cautious due to a past relationship is not "badly damaged".
Real damage comes from childhood.

@Sadmum09 then it's up to you if that's what you want

@Ontheroad i wish it was easy to move on and leave.

@Sadmum09 it's never easy but totally worthwhile and a must, in my book. I've been through all of it.

@Sadmum09 I can understand how it's hard/feels maybe impossible, but do you want to feel used, sad, angry and deal with what you are dealing with, of work your way through to a better tomorrow?

@ltdxunbreakable no shit

@Queendragonfly hes just saying its different with me. but its hard to believe when all he did when he was with me was impregnate me and not allow me to work. he wants to be in control. i know it aint healthy its ruining us, and my mental health thinking im not worth any of those.

@RuyLopez you got that right. i mean why would you want to be in a relationship already if youre not fully healed. seems like it.

@Sadmum09 oh my....then i would call him on that

@beermeplease already did already opened up why on our anniversary not a single trip. just ordering take out while he has lavish trips with his ex... its quiet unfair.

@Sadmum09 then treat yourself. see how he reacts to that

@SW-User enjoy it! I really hope I was more aware of things before this happened

@Sadmum09 it gets lonely but no drama over here 🤷🏾‍♂️😂

@SW-User ikr! but you can play around have fun, travel , see the world , work on yourself no strings attached 💯💯

@Iwillwait nope. he earns alot right now before he'd use to loan from banks to have the fancy trips. just wondering why hes even with me when hes invested alot in the woman. the leech

@Sadmum09 You're calling him the Leech, are you paying for your trips for the both of you?

@AnonymousJSS the girl git rid of it . she doesnt want kids