thoughts on this???

@LadyGrace im trapped! because of the kids i cant leave, he actually told me to leave but hes taking the kids and im never seeing them again. well i cant do that. im not leaving the angels

@Sadmum09 I understand what you're thinking and saying but that's not true. I went through exactly what you're going through and I left home with my kids and I planned and I made it. Two small children with no place to go and no one to take me in and 20 bucks in my pocket and I prayed to God and he helped me. He has never forsaken me. I left my abuser of 34 years. That's what they want us to think that we are weak and we can't make it and I didn't even have a job and I left in one day. I was not going to be abused another day! All we had was what we had in the car to bring with us and that was it and by faith, God saw me through, which I know he can do for you. You can plan and you can get out but there's a way you have to do it. You have to be smart and plan. I can help you with that if you like to see that you're safe but you can never go back and you have to make up your mind to that and you have to go to a place where he will never find you and bully you and control you again. People like this have no right to bully. You can take your life back and save your kids from all the heartache and being raised by an abuser. It hurts them more when we stay.

You have more power than you think you do and you're stronger than you think you are. He has just beat you down emotionally because he wants you to think that you're helpless but you're not. You are a powerful woman and you can stand up for your rights and for your children's rights. He won't take those kids away from you. That's just his scare tactic to keep you bound to him. And you never never tell him you're going to leave. Never. He doesn't know what love is. Love is not control. And no one has to live like this. I can help you with your plans to get away. Sure it is scary but we can't let fear keep us back because God will give you the strength to get away, like he did me. God would not want you to stay there and be abused anymore. I'll help you ever step of the way. If that's what you want. No need to be fearful when you make plans and know when and where you're going and that you will all be safe. The emotional effect and abuse on those children must be protected.

@LadyGrace my parents also know about how bad the relationship is, but they always told you you can fix things by puttig God at the center of your relationship. It makes it even hard when the parents are involved we do not have our own home we live with my parents and I don’t wanna add up to their worries if I try to runaway with the kids. I’m really scared I wouldn’t be able to give them the life they deserve. So I always tell myself when they’ve grown and would understand things I’ll tell them I have to leave and then they’ll choose who to stay with. I don’t wanna bruise them right now they’re too young I have a 4 yr old and a 5month old son

@Sadmum09 yeah that's exactly what I told myself and boy was I super wrong. I can't tell you how wrong that is, that reasoning. And you have no idea how it tears children up when they grow up and have to make a choice and deal with a plethora of problems because of that choice. You have no idea. You're making it way worse. You have to think of yourself and those children, not what others will think because they are the ones that are suffering and you are too. I didn't have a place to go either. It's way way way better to do it now when they're young opposed to when they're older believe me. They don't have to hear the trauma of what all is going on. There's things that can be said and done without that and we can't just do things to please other people and worry about what they'll think at the expense of you and the children being emotionally and physically abused. It changes who children are when they are this abused and so much more. It is a time when you'll have to be brave and like I say there's a way to do it where you won't have it so hard I have been through all that. But to stay because of the children is the worst excuse of all because that's what somebody told me and I went through pure hell because of it and so did the children. That is not the way. There's many things and many hopeful things and people that can help you get through this it's not as hard as you think and I'll never forget the day I finally though I was fearful and scared and shaking in my boots, that I still in spite of all that trusted God and he saw me through because he didn't want me and the children in that pain one more second! You're not trapped. That's what he wants you to think and your parents don't have to go through what you're going through, you do. So they have no right to judge that and they can't know what is best for you and the children though they think they do. It's not them living through the fear and all. That's all I have to say. But if you stay and make excuses that's the very worst thing you could do for yourself and those children. I won't say anymore. You deserve a better and happier life and so do those children and you are their spokesperson and rescuer. You are the only one they have to rescue them from this bully and monster.

@Sadmum09 [quote]my parents also know about how bad the relationship is, but they always told you you can fix things by puttig God at the center of your relationship. [/quote]

Now is exactly the right time to take the children before they are more aware of what went on and they don't have to know that. We cannot burden the children with adult affairs. Yes my parents knew how bad the relationship was too but did they help me, no. Not one person helped me except the Lord. And I ask you....... With the Lord want you to stay and live with an abusive husband and father? These people don't change. They have everything exactly as they wanted and that's the only reason they don't want to lose you because they don't love you they think love is control and that's the only reason they want you to stay so they don't lose that control. These are narcissists and we don't want our children growing up learning narcissist ways and watching their mother get abused and thinking well that's just normal that's the way life is. God was always at the center of my life but not my husband's. That's not a relationship. What I'm saying is God is not the center of your relationship if your husband is not on board. I have always let the Lord lead me and I knew he would not want me to lose my health over this narcissist so-called husband of mine who was never a friend, and He blessed me and helped me completely get away and get my life in order. He went out of his way to help me. You have only yourself and the children to answer for, not anyone else.