Thoughts on “attachment”??

some people still need it
I think with the intenet and impersonal communication we have forgotten how to interact

There's a whole field of research on it known as "Attachment Theory" that postulates how the relationships we form in our youth serve as the archetype or the foundational basis for how we approach relationships in the future. Basically, how our parents and caregivers raised us lay the expectations for what to expect in other relationships.

My personal theory is that with the rise in households with 2 working parents, as well as the rise of TV and digital distractions, among other factors, people have had increasingly limited, infrequent, and intermittent contact with other people. There's a lack of stability in their past and current relationships and so they learn to expect a lack of stability in their future relationships.

At the core of it is just a fear of being hurt or ignored. People are social creatures that need others to thrive, but when people are so unreliable it becomes a common coping mechanism to stop relying on others. Some bounce from one partner to the other, some avoid relationships entirely, and others still get stuck in unfulfilling relations steeped in insecurity and poor communication.

A lot of people just don't have good models for what a stable, loving relationship is, so they settle for the next best thing

Yes nowadays it's harder to make connections, most are shying away or just not settling, i know because I am guilty of it as well as others are towards me ... the era of the great abandonment...but I believe slowly slooowly we, the world, are finding our way to connection again..

This is deep ….. but yeah

When the time in each person’s life is right, he or she seeks what they need. There’s no one-size-fits-all solution.

Some people don't need close attachments to be happy, I am like that.
But I think most people do need and want it.

It’s simply…. Safer. Emotionally safer

I think it is because of the obligations and restrictions that come with certain kinds of attachment. People want to be able to enjoy the moment without having to be bound to any one person or place. Freedom of movement so to speak. Options.

I agree with you 100%.

I think forming bonds with others is a natural human thing to do, and to pretend that it's not natural is odd. I get that not everyone wants to be monogamous and not everyone even wants a relationship, but let's not pretend it's the natural norm.

A loved one is a human being. The human part, the time we get on this earth; is short. Its the Being inside that we love. Attachment provokes a broken heart once the human part leaves us...but deep connection to the being inside is eternal.

Do you mean that people deliberately try to avoid spending more time with others in order to prevent forming an attachment with them?

❤️This!👍👍❤️❤️❤️❤️

My therapist had me read this book. It kinda helped make some sense of some of what has gone wrong for me and why and how to reframe how I view my attachments.

I don't know, it's the internet after all.
I did wait for your posts yesterday.

I think it's a product of so many having low emotional maturity. They don't know how to handle dynamics within relationships (yes, including absence and heartbreak) so they choose to go without the experiences completely.
There is a reason the saying was coined: it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

This is the emotional dark age.
Individualism and separateness are promoted. We're weaker and more easily controlled this way. It's a very sad state of affairs, indeed. 😔