Struggles & Identity

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How can I move past this fear?

I may need to live alone soon. I have always lived with someone. I enjoy my own solitude but the fear Ive had for a while, is intruders. Someone seeing a woman living alone and going in at night to harm, rob, or worse. I dont know if it stems from growing up in the city or maybe all the Forensic Files Ive seen/ Datelines. I cant afford an alarm system. I know people have said get a dog, but wont be able to afford one most likely. Any ideas how to squash this fear? 😞

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HootyTheNightOwl Best Comment

Just get some magnetic door and window alarms and rig them up to all your outside doors and windows - that way no one can creep in without making noise enough to wake you.

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Coralmist · 41-45, F

@HootyTheNightOwl Thanks !!

Coralmist · 41-45, F

@HootyTheNightOwl Really appreciate that, they are affordable...ty again🐞

HootyTheNightOwl

@Coralmist You're welcome. I know that they aren't up to much, but I figured that they might still be something that might give you a little peace of mind.

At least they will wake you up should they become separated or the batteries get low - but I thought that they might be enough to give your mind a rest at night if nothing else.

BlueVeins · 22-25

I've been home alone for a few days now and ngl I'm starting to get this. Steering clear of the horror genre is definitely a good idea... second best next to getting a roomie of course.

WonderGirl1

I live alone for the past 6 years. I was afraid the first year. Always lock my door. But I left the city and I felt a lot better. Now I figure if someone breaks in they will trip over one of my 6 cats and then I can shoot them.

Carissimi · F

I don’t think it’s an irrational fear. When I moved here, I was stalked by two men. I was already going through a lot, and this made me paranoid for several weeks, always checking the windows to see if they were lurking around. I was really scared. Take as many safety precautions as you can ... carry pepper spray or get trained to carry. We have to live our lives, but unfortunately the nutcases have increased since then.

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Carissimi · F

My area is low crime too. I did run into one of them a couple of years later. I found out he was a mental patient. I don’t know about the other one. Don’t know if he recognized me, but I left that building fast. @Coralmist

Carissimi · F

I should mention that I seem to attract nutcases my whole life. @Coralmist

Coralmist · 41-45, F

@Carissimi a member just told me about magnetic winndow alarms, had never seen them. Seems more affordable , and it would provide peace of mind. Maybe you can look into it!!

Starcrossed · 41-45, F

*i totally read over the dog part.*

When my then boyfriend and I first bought our house he worked nights so I was home alone and it was terrifying. The second we brought home our dog, that fear diminished, and he was still just a little pup no way could he protect me until he grew up. Just having him there gave me so much peace of mind.

I think I'll never not have a dog, no matter what financial sacrifices I need to make.

Jenny1234 · 51-55, F

Start living alone and you’ll see that these things likely won’t happen to you. You’ll grow to love it

HootyTheNightOwl

@Jenny1234 I lived alone... and I got raped by a neighbour several times over the space of a year.

You can never say "Never".

Coralmist · 41-45, F

@HootyTheNightOwl Im truly sorry friend💓

HootyTheNightOwl

@Coralmist It still haunts me in the form of one of his mistresses... it'll be twenty years next year - and she still shouts stuff at me when she sees me in the streets.

Lostpoet · M

You should buy a German shepherd.

🤦🏼And I should read the whole post before commenting.

Montanaman · M

Go to a reputable gun shop and talk to a professional sales rep. They'll help you pick out a handgun that you're comfortable with and fits your needs, along with practice and personal protection ammunition. Take training to learn how to shoot and take care of your weapons. You'll find it fun to shoot along with a comfortable and safe feeling, knowing you'll be able to defend yourself.

MrBrownstone · 46-50, M

Stop thinking about what could go wrong,focus on what can go right.

Rokasu · 36-40, M

Go learn butt kicking jutsu and then profit.

JoyfulSilence · 46-50, M

I hope you can find a safe, quiet neighborhood.

I have lived alone for 26 years. It is fine. Of course living with a girlfriend or wife would be better.

I have never felt fear. Although I worry about crime. Once I stepped out and saw a car on blocks with its wheels gone!

AwakeningConfession221122

I lived alone, it’s not that scary in an apartment, it’s scarier being home alone in a big house. As long as your weapons are accessible and in the right spots, your home is protected. A dog would be good protection and company too. Like a Doberman or a Staffy.

ronisme1 · 61-69, M

Roommate

GuyWithOpinions · 31-35, M

Take up martial arts? Get a dog for sure. Maybe good locks on your doors? Windows with fancy bars through them? Sleep with a knife? Makes some feel safer.

Ananke · 26-30, F

If you can afford it try to live in a safe area? I've lived alone in a dangerous area before and it was hell on my nerves. You could get an alarm system? Or a gun?

froggtongue · M

You might not get a full alarm system, but how about just a camera or three?

SW-User

Try deadbolting your door, or a can of mace. Anything she help in your fears

th3r0n · 41-45, M

Pistol and hand to hand training? Knives?

If you believe in God and have faith, pray, God can do anything but don’t expect to get anything from him if you don’t have faith

GovanDUNNY · M

What about your sister

Coralmist · 41-45, F

@GovanDUNNY Do you mean my sis as a roommate? Its a possibility..thatcwould definitely be a fit but Im unsure if she can or will right now.

GovanDUNNY · M

@Coralmist Dont be in a hurry to be alone ❤️

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Lilnonames · F

U can buy cheap wireless cameras online I bought 8 plus hardware an s installed mine. They have motion sensors and alert u less than 100

Coralmist · 41-45, F

@Lilnonames Thanks!☘️

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