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How long does it take for therapy to work?

I know it’s going to take awhile and I need to be patient with myself but I really want to to know how long it takes. I’m sure it depends on the person but I just noticed how bad my social skills are and makes me want to become a recluse. I know what I want to say but can’t find the words but typing it out like this, i’m fine. It’s driving me crazy….
Adogslife · 61-69, M
It doesn’t “work” per se. You need to have an action plan. If you stay on plan, six months down the road you’ll be a better person than you are today. And the same is true of the next six months… and so on.

One step at a time will build great new habits and get you very far, but unnoticeably so because it happens in small increments.

As for real suggestions for success:

- Find something you love to do to occupy your spare time. You have to dedicate time every week to it. For me it was martial arts. For others, something creative, like photography, is a popular outlet for “me time”/self improvement.

- Diet. Make sure you’re eating healthier. That generally means avoid an abundance of carbs and sugar.

- Exercise. I personally think this is the most critical. Endorphins are a great healer. They naturally make you feel good about yourself. The workouts also help reshape your body and mind.

- Love yourself. Understand that you’re a great person and allow positive thoughts to be how you define yourself, not negative ones. No one is perfect. Neither are you. You’re just seeking emotional happiness and that’s very attainable. You can’t accept (realistically) the love of others until you love yourself. Once you’re happy, the love from others naturally becomes much deeper and fulfilling.

- Read. There’s a lot to learn about self improvement. I personally read quite a bit about self actualization. It’s good to understand the theory, but the knowledge also helps to put things into practice. Much like the question you asked to start this thread. “Why?” can be answered.

Your therapist is your catalyst. She/he is a great listening ear as well. You’re buying great “me” time, so look forward to it and use it well.

Set goals. Attack them.

Success will follow. I promise.
CommandLine · 56-60, M
There is no exact science with therapy. It works for some people, but not others. Also depends on how good the therapist is.
Its never worked for me, but could be that I didn't put enough work in to it.
Typing things out is far easier than talking it out face to face at times.
My social skills used to be really bad and can be at time now, but on the whole I can communicate. I have had to for my work, so you have to get over yourself.
I wish you luck with your journey ahead. You will get there.
Ryannnnnn · 31-35, M
Depends where you're at with yourself. May I suggest you consider writing down what you wanna say before you go?. It'll help a lot.

I've been to therapy where I wasn't in the right mindset to make good progress, bit I went back at 29 and made significant progress as I put lots of work into it and I know what questions to ask of myself, I was ready to confront certain things.

It's different for everyone though
cycleman · 61-69, M
Therapy is just a sounding board for yourself. Is an excellent way of getting things off your chest, least they are paid to listen.
So much changes as we get older and we accept and reject matters daily. I have found to basically accept it all and not be hurt or angry about the changes or of being lost. It is very hard thing to achieve though. 🙂
MarkPaul · 26-30, M
When people ask me this, I always ask, "how long do you want it to take" following their response with "now, are you willing to put in the effort and attention to meet your timeline?" You see, you are in complete control of the timeframe. As professionals, we can only guide you.
CestManan · 46-50, F
@MarkPaul You ain't no professional. Unless you are fibbing about your age and are over 35, you don't know jack squat yet.
MarkPaul · 26-30, M
@CestManan Well, I have life experience and field training.
Pinkstarburst · 51-55, F
It’s the work a person puts into the tools they learn in therapy that determines the progress. There isn’t a “fixed by” date unfortunately. It isn’t like an aspirin that gets rid of a headache in an hour.

Trust me when I say that I understand the frustration though. And I’m sorry you are struggling.
GerOttman · 61-69, M
Just my strictly unprofessional opinion but therapy is kind of a lifetime deal. I think the trick is to learn the skills to kind of do it on you own mostly. If and when you need help, get it.
SW-User
Sorry, isn’t a direct answer to this :(
Definitely take the advice below and write your thoughts and reflections down. That’s helped me for years.
Well it’s been 3 years for me. There has been leaps of improvement. The first year, all the bad things came rushing back and I got worse. It truly is a personal thing.
Jenny1234 · 51-55, F
If you want a quick fix try hypnotherapy. Therapy done under hypnosis. Since it works with your subconscious it works way faster
DocSavage · M
That would depend on how good it is and how bad you are.
smileylovesgaming · 31-35, F
I say therapy doesn't really work at all.
Tastyfrzz · 61-69, M
What kind of stuff are you working through? Sexual abuse? Parents? A breakup? PTSD...
Are you on any meds for anxiety or depression? Anti psychotics? It all takes time but you control your prigram.
CestManan · 46-50, F
Most of us do not have social skills worth a hoot. You are no worse off than anyone.
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