Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds today »

I’m sorry, I just have to ask*

*And I realise that not [b]all[/b] new posters do this, but…

When you come to a site as a new person, and you basically introduce yourself by saying something [b]rude[/b], what response are you expecting ?

In a way it’s like coming into a new town and immediately [b]mooning[/b] the residents. What do you see resulting from that ?

One of my favorite posts here about this, from a friend, sums up what we occasionally see (thanks @uncalled4):

[quote]"Why introduce yourself? Ain't nobody got time for that. Just do a psychotic verbal drive by." I mean, these people fling open the door like Kramer on Seinfeld.[/quote]

Then later we see them upset and announcing that they’re leaving, because "nobody’s friendly here."

Just something I’ve been wondering about.
Queendragonfly · 31-35, F
Some have an attitude to keep a safe distance from getting hurt. It will push many people away though especially if it's the first impression we get from someone.

I was very warm and open when I joined as I respect "your place"
DrWatson · 70-79, M
@Queendragonfly Within a very short time, you have become a great addition to SW!
Queendragonfly · 31-35, F
Queendragonfly · 31-35, F
DrWatson · 70-79, M
I always wonder how many of the truly outrageous posts by "new" people are just from alt accounts.

But if so, then those users are making it tougher for truly new people who might find themselves instantly blocked simply by virtue of having the "new" tag.
@DrWatson That is entirely possible, too.
Arorin · 31-35, M
I just be me and i give what i get. Maybe they havent learned how to act for the connections they want to receive.
Arorin · 31-35, M
@OogieBoogie that is why i dojt offer up advice very much and wait for people to ask question if they are really ready to ne helped
@Arorin sadly, ive learnt to try and [b]not[/b] give advice, (especially here)....even if its an easy doable thing .

People dont really want advice , they want empathy. Some want sympathy.
But not advice .
Advice means you have to do something, usually something out of your comfort zone....and most of us HATE that😂

i mean, i tried to tell someone a breathing 'hack' for activating the parasympathetic nervous system, (they wanted to feel less anxious).
Its a medically proven 5 or 10 minute therapy to slow heart rate, reduced blood pressure, anxiety, stress and ease the body into a more relaxed state ....and you just have to time your breathing. That was all.

But no.

The user rejected the idea, and was happier to entertain ideas of changing or increasing medication, changing therapists, feeling condemned to a life of anxiety episodes and/or even deciding to avoid any experiences that could trigger anxiety.

Anything , but trying to grow or change within one self. They wanted 'exterior' solutions.

which also relates back to this post ....'everyone else is the problem', its 'everything else needs to change to make me better'.
We arent arent good at talking advice anymore means work, and effort ....and painful stuffs😅
And we arent used to that. We are used to 'easy, entertaining, and immedate' .🤷‍♀️
Arorin · 31-35, M
@OogieBoogie i mean i pretty much grew up on a farm so i can work hard and when people speak to me honestly if it makes sense then i usually trust it. I think that speaking of my own experiences people can see what i do or did then make a decision if they want to approach me or follow some stuff i did.
No loss to us :) let the trash show and take itself out
I never understood why some people set different behavioral guidelines for themselves online than they do in real life.
It doesn't matter that your face isn't physically here, this is [i]you.[/i]
Why not be the best you can be?
But it's the Jekyll and Hyde thing. Some people are dying to let Hyde out and so they do.
JimboSaturn · 51-55, M
I truly think that they are unaware they are being rude. I think some of them are just not so bright they don't understand the stupidity of their question.
ninalanyon · 61-69, T
@JimboSaturn It's probably not a question of intelligence but upbringing.
JimboSaturn · 51-55, M
@ninalanyon Well this user called everyone older. And why is everyone older than me? But of course when you are 22, most people are older than you; that's just common sense. Some serious logic problems there lol
Casheyane · 26-30, F
@ninalanyon That is sad, but worth considering.
LordShadowfire · 46-50, MVIP
I know, right? I'm pretty sure I know which post it is that inspired this. Someone coming in here with a brand new account asking why there are so many old people? Then defining old people as anybody over 25. Like, whatever, kid. Go find a high school forum if it bugs you so damn much. No need to be rude to everybody.
@TryingtoLava Must've been from a while ago, I went back 6 hours and I don't see it.
fun4us2b · M
@MsSwann Every time I try to look back in the feed, different stuff comes up...
LordShadowfire · 46-50, MVIP
@fun4us2b I hate that. I really, legitimately hate the way the feed works. I know the admins are working to try and make it pleaseing to everybody all at once, and I'm not saying that ain't hard, but I hate the way it works now.
Yes, it's hard to understand the approaches that would attract negative responses or none at all. Maybe some kids have peer groups that think it's cool - a specific badge of generational and social identity. Perhaps they're aiming to attract feathers of their own kind. Or maybe they think it's funny.
craig7 · 70-79, M
I've no real idea why some seem determined to do that - it's probably a "Hey,look at me,here I am" gesture - the sort of thing that cuts no ice with me.
I like the post that you quote - "fling open the door like Kramer" - that's great,and pretty much sums it up.
@craig7 Yes, [b]that[/b] had me cracking up laughing. 😄
uncalled4 · 51-55, M
bookerdana · M
So true..but the new people fount the "I need to rant" group super fast 😃 Many think the new users are "less new"!
@bookerdana True.
bookerdana · M

one of my favorite gifs 🤭
DeWayfarer · 61-69, M
Ask why anyone goes on an airplane and loudly threatens everyone without knowing anyone?

It's sort of the same reasoning. Yet the above is happening more and more frequently.
DeWayfarer · 61-69, M
@bijouxbroussard the airplane example I admit is extreme.

Yet the extreme examples are often rooted in the lesser examples.

They can get away with the lesser why not go for the extreme.

Look at Trump's rhetoric over his four year term, then look at what happened on January 6th.

No real violence was actually promoted by Trump. Yet he was as rude and offensive as he can possibly get without being arrested for inciting violence.

He knew exactly what he was doing. People will follow the leader then take it up a further step.

You know music. Think about music progression.

Rock and roll progressed into acid rock then other hateful or negative types. Punk and Grunge are extremes.
[quote]No real violence was actually promoted by Trump.[/quote]
@DeWayfarer [media=]
DeWayfarer · 61-69, M
@bijouxbroussard exactly though, listen closer to him. "Knock the crap out of them" is meaningless legally. It's often said euphemistically.

I still stand that he was extremely careful on the words he chose. Keeping it right on the grey side of the law.

It's his followers he knew that would exceed the grey side and eventually do the violence.

He knew they would attempt a progression with his egging them ever onward, with him carrying a bullhorn, standing on the legal division line.

That is how you can incite a riot without being legally libel. Legally it can be done. The laws need to be changed on this.
bowman81 · M
I think there are two kinds of people in this world. Those who stick one foot in the pool and carefully test the water.....and those who take a running start and cannonball into the pool. I don't let either of them bother me unless the fool splashes me when they enter.
I have a feeling that many of them are emotionally challenged.
Steve42 · 56-60, M
Having a different opinion is not rude. People relate to the world differently. A product of their experience. Let people vent.
@bijouxbroussard yup. 🖤🤗
Steve42 · 56-60, M
@bijouxbroussard I Joined ep when it was at some like 300k experiences, 20+ years ago? Been here since ep closed. When I joined ep it was the year I lost my wife, my family and my home. I was a mess to be sure. Getting involved with someone here was a mistake. THey were married with no intention of leaving their partner at the time. I should have known better. It didn't help. If I have somehow offended your personal hang-ups, I apologize. Sincerely. Certainly not new to ep or here.
@Steve42 I’m not criticizing you, and I’m really sorry if you’re taking it personally. I’m asking the question of some people who have come in, new, attacking the community itself and then wonder why they’re being blocked and why they’re not having a positive experience here. A new post prompted this, but I’ve seen it happen often before.

There’s [b]huge[/b] difference between venting about one’s own situation vs. coming in and insulting everyone. Btw, I joined EP while still working through having lost my husband and only child in a car accident some years ago. I wasn’t talking about it in rl, so I thought EP would be helpful. It [b]was[/b], but I took time to get to see how things were there, first. And I tried to be respectful as a newcomer. 🥺
Viper · M
Cookies, the dark side said they had cookies

its kinda like walking into a new store, and before youve even walked around, you shout at staff, complain about the products and service, before youve even had any time to experience doesn't make sense.

ive seen numerous new users make these types of posts, and all i can guess is: for some reason these people expected to be instantly popular😏.

When does a stranger EVER walk into a party and become the life of it ?

I wonder if its modern culture that has trained people to [b]expect[/b] everything they want, [b]immediately [/b]?🤷‍♀️

Others here have also made some really good points about actual age demographics, some supoosed 'new' users being alt accounts, and of course the counterproductive and hypocritical mode of instantly hating on everybody ...and wondering why nobody likes you 😅

Its just [b]freaking bizarre[/b]....and pretty fucking stoopid if you ask me 🤪
@OogieBoogie Yes, thank you ! 😅
ChipmunkErnie · 70-79, M
I try NOT to be rude, but I suspect sometimes my sense of humor makes it seem like perhaps I am. :'(
NinaTina · 26-30, F
Are they not from that role play fetish site called iorbix? They probably import there profile from there
@NinaTina and some came from that teen app vent
There's one polite new person who got on my nerves so bad, I just had to block her/it.

The rude ones I just assume that they're alts, I just ignore/mute

Post Comment
83,272 people following
Social Websites & Apps
Personal Stories, Advice, and Support
New Post
Associated Forums Topic Members