I’m sorry, I just have to ask*

@Arorin this is a very thoughtful reply

@OogieBoogie we see it in children right? Little boy likes little girl and he pushes her down or something. We are learning to communicate at a young age and who knows what journey their experiences have taken them. Maybe it was down a good healthy road and maybe it wasnt, but the constant varriable in all of this is we all need love and attention to be happy and healthy, so if you have a guy who is being consistantly rude in all their interactions i would wager to guess they went down an unhealthy road that taught them to communicate.

@Arorin yeah, ur prolly right .
Modern online culture doesnt help either:
'i want it my way, now, always'....and then throw a hissy fit when it doesnt happen 🙄😏

@OogieBoogie Indeed. You’ve probably seen all these posters who report having been blocked for not replying to a pm quickly enough ? It’s mind-blowing that someone would feel such entitlement to a prompt reply from a total stranger. 😳

@OogieBoogie could be or they could be reading something in their own voice and their own voice might be severly different than the voice of the author. Communication for a lot of people is hard and to add a vareiable of only text that could be even more challenging for many. Take away body language and tone then we are really just predicting the words we see. If an abused child is reading something they could read it very differently than a loved child. Why do people act the way that they do can mostly be explained with upbringing.

I do think that social media has been resopnsible for a decline in mental health for a lot of people. We get a constant wave of dophamine from all these interactions way more than we should and it can be addicting like any drug. We dont have enough mental health professionals or even enough loving/educated familys to handle the disparody of individuals growing up in the society we have built today.

@bijouxbroussard to me that is poor mental health going unchecked for too long. They probably don't even realize they feel jealous or have a healthy way to combat it. Instead they feel anger and take action on it in the moment.

@bijouxbroussard Oh...it happened to me here, years ago.
it was so odd !

i was pm'ing with a young woman, (who seemed very immature for her age), and she expected my replies to be instant !
And i mean, instant instant.
i had to explain that there was like a three minute delay even in immedate responses.

And when i told her that i was also replying to other messages ....she flipped her lid.

She couldn't understand why she wasnt my first priotiy. She was 22, and acted with a 5 or 6 year old expectations .
It was scary in a way .....how does a person reach that age and be so mentally immature?

And i pondered her future. How will she ever cope with indelendedt life, work, people in general when she finaly moves out from being daddy's little princess ?
What will happen when she discovers people won't automatically fall at her feet?

These types of posts reflect this attitude.
The expectations of these users is .....astoundingly pandered to. ! 😳🤷‍♀️

Real life is gonna hurt them.....HARD.

@OogieBoogie there could be many factors. Without meeting her could you say she was 100% not autistic? Maybe she had a chemical imbalance or bi-polar. Mental maturity does happen with age but its developed with our surroundings while we age. If it isnt chemical then her actions would have to be explained through medical or environmental development. My friend who is an adult actually reverted to his 7 year old self out of nowhere randomly. He was put on a medicine and became his normal adult 30 uear old self again.

@Arorin I couldn't agree more ....esp with your comments on the dopamine factor.

I think many people dont understand that non typical 'addiction' is rife in society today.
They dont understand that addiction can be anything .....it can be an attitude, absorption of ones self, attention, isolation, even just mental stimulation form tiktok videos ... ....ANYTHING that gives our brain a chemical rush.

People are missing out on learning patience, tolerance, meditation, self control, problem solving, going without, resilience when things go wrong or askew.
THESE are, (or were), all fundamentals of 'growing up'.

Which means.....we have a massive increase of people in newer generations who basically , arent mentally mature and have healthy coping mechanisms .
In facf, some have NO coping strategies AT ALL !

Which then means , that workforces will suffer, decision making will suffer, relationships will suffer .

this is NOT a good outlook .
Esp for the rest of the people of those generations.

@Arorin i didnt want to go into details of why sje was the way she was....it would have made my reply overly long .
I am aware that mental and emotional develolment is a very complex issues of possible congenital issue's, environment, etc.
The detail in this context wasnt relevent to the argument, only the resulting behaviour.

@OogieBoogie its not all doom and gloom because as we study this stuff more and better information will become mainstream and we as a society can adjust accordingly. Technology has advanced so fast and a lot of people are still reacting to the change it has brought our society. I was born in 89 so i can remember half a childhood playing outside and another half learning about computers and what to do with them in school. We have a lot of kids being born in a world with stuff that wasnt there when i was born.

What we need is a strong economy that can support a traditional household where we can have one parent provide while the other nurtures and together they can try ad raise healthy individuals that have the skills to be an adult at the age we are told we are adults.

I don't think i heard the term dophamine until 2016 or so and before that i was learning about endorpines around 2009.

@Arorin Every generation HAS to change to endure.

And yes, an improved economy would help, but i dont see evidence of that happening yet.
In fact....i see it getting worse for the current younger generations right now.
Yes, we know more, understand more, but effectively dealing with, and productively producing better mental health on a large scale is, for lack of a better terminiology, so fucking impossible in this current over managed, segmented and 'professionalised' system.

I have a severely autistic child and ive been through domestic violence from a drug addict...
...and i can tell you first hand that the police, health professionals, child services, civil servants and even medical professiinals have let me and my children down so much, i had to nearly do everything off my own bat.
I also work at a school in a low socio-economic area, and see what generations of unemployment and lack of social, mental, emotional and educational skills do to growing children....it stunts them into a tiny set of expectations that limits their world to a suburb.
Usually for their entire life - which they then unknowingly hand on to their children.

We now have what we call 'socially disabled' people: people who honestly dont know how stunted they are developmetally - as it is their social norm.

I know its not all dark. Im just saying that for those who are switched on, healthily developed individuals, its gonna be a tough ride.
Mental illness is at an all time high.

And professional 'solutions' are so overladen by massive layers of management its become almost innefectual.
I see it at my work, (as well as my own personal above experience), that people do 'trauma' workshops to learn how to deal with trauma, but come out knowing nothing .
They THINK they do, they feel all empowered, but are useless.
And worse....often make professional choices that can affect the child they are trying to help, in a bad way.
All becuase their course was designed by someone who was designated to design it .....but never personally went through any bloody trauma in their life.

We have aids helping disabled children, who have never done ANY disabilty training. We have social workers and councellors straight out of university, who are 26 and still live at home and know nothing of family violence, poverty or illiteracy, except what they've read.

Its a mess.

We DO know more, thats a fact.

But w4 arent effectively implementing that knowledge in society, or efficiently using resources on ground level.
Its a known fact that most funding is used up in management and 'directors', than it is on ACTUAL experienced people dealing directly with the provlem at base level.

Not to even mention that most psychologists, psychiatrists, doctors, and therapists cost money....quite a bit of money - in which the people affected, dont have.

If you are poor, disabled, socially disadvantaged, abused, or mentally ill, you don't have the money to find a place to live ....let alone get proper help.

So no...its not all dark. But its worse than you think.
I see it everyday.
Ive lived through it.

The world has not kept up with the poison its creating.😔

@OogieBoogie its not worse than i think. I am a product of abuse myself. Alcoholic mother who kicked me out of the house when i was 7. Drugs all aroud me and in my school system. Fighting to survive each day even teachers joined the abuse. My brother became violent towards me as a result of his abuse. There was a time i was a pretty violent and bad individual myself fighting to survive. Failed every class but still pushed through, ended up joining the military. I been everywhere i seen everything. I seen kids with nothing i 3rd world countries more happy than we are because they had their buddies and a soccer ball. My best friends mom was a social worker who helped troubled kids and adults i also had a good role model with my grandpa. Ive been to over 40 other countries and learned more about cultures than any of my peers i personally know. I work in a hospital know as well so i see another side besides what i was use to. I have had ptsd from going to war and seen that as well. I struggled with being molested as a child ive had that experience under my belt. The thing is i see a lot of good with the bad and i think we are strong people. I see it every day and ive done a lot to combat it and change it as well. We might not agree on everything but we are two people who have seen a lot of things.

@Arorin Ok...i hear you.
i didn't know your past or all the experience's youve had. im sorry if my words caused offence or insult.

But reading your words only reinforces my opinion.
it was only good, life experienced empathetic people who helped you ...not university 'professionals'.

We are living in the 21st century, and poverty is only getting worse, when we have the ability and resources to abolish it.
You've seen it.

This is not the future we were told we were heading for .😔

@OogieBoogie i agree the best therapist are those who had real life experiences but i think what pulled me through was having one good role model and i had two i had my grandpa and my best friends mom. We can teach this and be supportive to those who need it. What else can we do right now? We need the economy to get better and i don't see that happeneing but i think that needs to be the forst focus.

@Arorin Dude, its why...despite all my smarts, skills professional training, (in a completely different area), that i enjoy working where i do.
i love these dysfunctional kids. They are real, and it puts me in a places where i can make a difference ...a real practical difference.

As you say, we can help those who need it.
We just have to choose to.
💜

@OogieBoogie its hard because a lot of people dont want help.

@Arorin No....they don't .

And that is also part of the problem . So many are unable, or dont recognise the problem , dont see it, or laugh at it instead, or are too troubled within themselves and barely coping ...or have succumbed and are dealing with their own burden of problems .

And some, (getting back to the original theme of this post), are just too self absorbed to see anyones elses problems ..
...because 'not getting instant attention from strangers online' , is their first world problem 🤷‍♀️🙄

@OogieBoogie that is why i dojt offer up advice very much and wait for people to ask question if they are really ready to ne helped

@Arorin sadly, ive learnt to try and not give advice, (especially here)....even if its an easy doable thing .

People dont really want advice , they want empathy. Some want sympathy.
But not advice .
Advice means you have to do something, usually something out of your comfort zone....and most of us HATE that😂

i mean, i tried to tell someone a breathing 'hack' for activating the parasympathetic nervous system, (they wanted to feel less anxious).
Its a medically proven 5 or 10 minute therapy to slow heart rate, reduced blood pressure, anxiety, stress and ease the body into a more relaxed state ....and you just have to time your breathing. That was all.

But no.

The user rejected the idea, and was happier to entertain ideas of changing or increasing medication, changing therapists, feeling condemned to a life of anxiety episodes and/or even deciding to avoid any experiences that could trigger anxiety.

Anything , but trying to grow or change within one self. They wanted 'exterior' solutions.

which also relates back to this post ....'everyone else is the problem', its 'everything else needs to change to make me better'.
We arent arent good at talking advice anymore .....it means work, and effort ....and painful stuffs😅
And we arent used to that. We are used to 'easy, entertaining, and immedate' .🤷‍♀️

@OogieBoogie i mean i pretty much grew up on a farm so i can work hard and when people speak to me honestly if it makes sense then i usually trust it. I think that speaking of my own experiences people can see what i do or did then make a decision if they want to approach me or follow some stuff i did.