I just want to share my feelings….

The bad comments are just jealous people.

They know you look good. If they did not think so, they would not be trying to tear you down.

🤗 You do whatever helps you, fuck anyone who is a jerk. Or says you need a thicker skin. Because the more trauma around a thing, the harder it is to grow a thicker skin about certain issues, I think.

I am a survivor of sexual abuse, and while I was never told I was pretty, there are some things I was told often that stick to me too and would feel crazy overwhelming sometimes .

One thing still bothers me a lot. Hearing the words "good girl" breaks my brain every single time to this day.

My abuser was OCD and judged every tiny little flaw he could find or perceive, or if I didn't unquestioningly do everything he wanted. He'd build up this ideal of this fucktoy he wanted and unreasonable expect me to be that on top of the sexual abuse. He also weirdly want me to be some kind of stereotyped valley girl that he could make fun of (I was no valley girl) and he'd be so mad that I didn't play along and let him play pretend. He'd think up or imagine faults too. And he'd try to punish me or hurt me if I wasn't perfectly someone else.

The only nice thing I'd hear was "good girl" after being forced into things and being more quiet then usual.

I too used to dress differently (pants, modest shirts or baggy sweatshirts), and then allowed myself to wear some makeup (I had to teach myself too) and dress and act more femininely again. I adore dresses now and wear them around home all the time in particular. And voluminous loose hair buns. Everyday after work I put my hair up in a messy bun. I like feeling safe to be female now. And feel a little pretty. Wearing a dress, and taking care of myself helps express that.

I've often been judged as having too little confidence or too much confidence in myself because I'm rather plain tbh
But all I've ever cared about it is the freedom to be myself. To wear nice clothes, to have time to exercise, to take care of myself, have a few flattering hairstyles that work for me. Have my own hobbies. Care about others. Express silly, average or serious opinions at times. Have quirks and personality warts. I shouldn't have to be a drooled over model to be able to "be myself" and be tolerated for being me. I'm not such a terrible person, am I?

Being myself? I have that all now. And I'm really glad and lucky that I have a partner who loves me for me. Flaws and all.

I'm sorry your husband isn't supportive and understanding and doesn't remind you how beautiful you are. I'm glad you are choosing to forge your own way and be yourself.

If it helps, I don't mind admitting that I like the person you are, your strength, bravery and your personality. You are beautiful inside and out. Keep being you, ok? 🤗

Alright we’ll I’m a dick so, here’s my input…

Everyone is attractive, they might not be what someone specifically wants.. but usually who that someone is, doesn’t really matter since they’re a highly unwanted person and they just share their negativity everywhere, probably in an attempt to make others feel just as ugly as they are on the inside…

I’ve thought a lot of people were super nice looking before.. but as soon as I learned something ugly about their personality, they became hella ugly to me too..

Beauty is most definitely in the eye of the beholder.. Yes there are some what’s it called.. natural features, depending on where you come from in life that can be considered beautiful.. Attractive people can look ugly AF in an instant if their personality is shit.. idk but that’s just how it’s worked for me..

I saw this pretty Chinese girl make a YouTube video about how when she was in China she was made fun of everyday for being ugly, and that they told her she should move to America because they like ugly girls there.. and it’s like she was pretty.. but in Chinese culture I guess there are different standards for what is pretty vs what is ugly.. same goes for lots of places over the world..

You are not ugly.. people who say such things are either ugly themselves.. or they think that saying a negative first gives them some kind of upper hand against you.. Keep being yourself, don’t let them change that about you..

I’m soo sorry you were abused. It seems like soo many girls have gotten sexually abused. I wish it would end. I just don’t understand how anyone would abuse a child or an adult. As for your appearance, you look beautiful so don’t listen to others when they say you’re not. Many people are just jealous and will talk about you no matter what you look like.

That sounds really hard because at the same time you enjoy that others tell you nice things, like eveyone does, but the memories of that man telling you you're pretty are also there, like bad remainders, maybe that's why you don't feel very comfortable for long when someone genuinely appreciates you or your looks.

Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. You are so courageous.
I am generally opposed to capital punishment, but if I could kill that man who abused you as a child, I would.
Reading through your story, it seems as if your self-esteem and confidence were growing greatly for a while. It was heartwarming to read this:

-- and then social media hit :(
I have seen a lot of articles about how bad social media is for many people's self-esteem -- especially women. Is it worth it?
I would guess an anonymous site like this or the former EP would be especially risky this way. People can say whatever they want with no consequences beyond angry replies or getting blocked. If someone is simmering with their own hurt and anger they can take it out on other people here, and many do.

If you use other social media like Facebook where you can limit your posts to people you actually know, I wonder if your experiences there are more positive?

Anyway, you are very beautiful -- in different clothing and with or without makeup. I would fully understand if you stop sharing pictures but when you have shared them on here they brighten my day. You didn't even mention your variety of glasses which add to your creative beauty!

You are beautiful inside and out, and this post is another example of your beautiful bravery.

You would think for a man things would be easy but i to get bad comments and they hurt. I understand a lot of your post and sorry you had to endure this

Good morning and thank you for the honesty and I know that wasn’t easy.

I think you look beautiful and I really like the person I’ve come to know as iamonfire696.

You did good here with your post and you aren’t alone. Plenty of us, way more than should be were sexually abused as kids and it took me forever to admit it to anyone and frankly I credit SW for allowing me a place I felt comfortable enough to share.

So again, you did good this morning and you can always vent to me if you are feeling frustrated

What strikes me is how incredibly strong you are. Let's forget for a moment how beautiful you are, and instead look at how much pain you have been through, and how you have struggled, fought and are continuing to do so.

What you have been through coupled with an unsupportive spouse and ugly comments from others would break many. You instead fight back, you take the blows, feel the pain and yet stand tall and continue to fight, continue to reach out and continue to be kind instead of imploding and screaming out in rage against the world that has been so unkind to you.

I see many here, and in real life, who have let the pain in their life turn to bitterness, to anger, to hate, suspicion and worse, who have more or less given up fighting.

Not you, you instead have committed yourself to becoming a stronger, better self, a person who can be free to think of herself as a uniquely kind, beautiful and loving person. You reach out, allow yourself to share your pain and even though some still look to hurl pain and insults at you, you continue on.

You are not just beautiful, you are an incredibly strong and worthwhile person.

Screw those who do not see this in you, who offer no support, who can't see the beauty of you. They don't deserve you. And, thank you for letting those of us who do see this in you in... we think you rock!

I think you are very beautiful!😍 Don't ever let anyone tell you any different.

I'm sorry that ppl suck and you had suck a bad experience as a child.

That would have been hard for you to write, very hard i imagine.
There are, unfortunately, no magic words to make the hurt go away... The only thing that does that is your belief in yourself... And i think you're gaining that.
There will always be naysayers... But please remember, they only have the power you decide to give them... You can take their words as truth, of you can let them be like dust in the wind ....

My beliefs is that SW, like EP, is, unfortunately, a place for some to openly bully others in a way they wouldn't dare in public. They are cowards in real life, many may be bullied themselves. Rather than get bothered by their comments, feel sorry for their souls!

Unfortunately the universe around us is filled with a chaotic cacophony of words and emotions: calm and clamor, peace and turmoil, love and hate, positive and negative forces. Our challenge, though very difficult is weed out what is not good for us, and cultivate what is good. It’s the continuous task of editing our living story. I wish you continued success in hearing and seeing the good, positive and beautiful truths about you and all around you.
Have a blessed day

That’s a rough road to be on. Just remember all the ppl who still care for you on here.

I’m so sorry you had to deal with the abuse as a child. It does make sense why you may be a little more sensitive to negative comments now though. But you are an attractive woman. Please believe that!!!

The ones that make these negative comments, must be unhappy with themselves and are just trying to drag others down to somehow make themselves feel better. It’s a refectection on THEM, not you hun. Don’t let them have that power to hurt you. Simply block and move on.

As I've said before you are beautiful inside and out ...ignore those hateful comments...their comments aren't about you at all ...they are about themselves and are projecting their own insecurities on you ...you keep
being your awesome self !

If you are feeling depressed anything negative is magnified.
Try not to dwell on negative comments as some people don't realise the harm they are doing
And you look just gorgeous x

As far as I have known you, you are one strong woman. You'll find a way to get over it sooner or later.
I've been abused by the so called, loved ones throughout my life. Just because I had good looks. Some of those people still exist. Some of them I still meet.

You are a beautiful woman, deserving of kindness and love.
I hope the would smiles at you today, and that you smile back !

Be well
Live happy
Die trying,
Rob

You are a beautiful woman. (If my words have any meaning to you)
People are mean and stupid. I believe those who are trying to hurt you with words they are also hurt.
Don't let them ruin your feelings.
There are good and bad people out. Just focus on those who make you feel better and ignore the rest.

Aww poor baby. Im sorry you had to go through all that. You are beautiful on the inside and outside. Don't let others tell you what you are because they are either jealous or they have confidence issues.

You are so incredibly beautiful. I understand feeling self conscious about how I look too and that it is hard to take compliments. But you do truly look fantastic and seeing your beautiful face brings me a smile every time.

most people that try to put others down have problems of their own and try to make them selfs look good.you are not perfact i am not perfact and they are perfact Aholes

I am sorry to hear about all of this. It must be very difficult to deal with all of those thoughts. You really are incredibly beautiful and i do love seeing your pretty face!

dont worry about what coments others make.you know who you are and have your own life to live.dont let anybody put you down.you are you and you should feel good about your self.F them

That's terrible

I would never wish that abuse even on my worst enemy. But I hope you can recover in whatever way works best for you.

Thanks for smiling and powering through

Thank you for sharing. I honestly feel you are very beautiful not only physically but also as a person. I cannot imagine anyone saying negative things about you.

Your gorgeous dont let trolls get to you. you should let us know who they are so we can all block them away from SW

Damn. Sorry you had to go through what you did. You seem strong and hey you’re still here today ❤️

I hope you are able to someday able to let people close and accept their complement with out any thoughts of the man who abused you.

You are incredible for sharing.

And showing confidence.

And confidence is beautiful - makeup or not.

Don’t let other people determine how you feel, only you should have privilege of doing that 🤗

You are one of the most beautiful women I know.

You are gorgeous. Just look at yourself. Total beauty

I hope you do find others to help you with the self-image thing.

I’m glad you are getting better.

Well I think you look very pretty

Oh just ignore those sick people

You tuely are beautiful!!!

Thank you for sharing

I understand

Think you could help me loads with a problem I'm got ,it's just so annoying when you love someone and my gf won't commit because off other men in her life.im getting punished for all the horrible men who abuse women .

hugs...