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I need to vent

I think I need to realize that I would never be rid of my ex
I guess , somehow I need to learn to not be so afraid of him but it’s kind of , like, trying to not be afraid and anxious when you have an scorpion on your back :(
To this date, the only thing he has not done is arranging for my murder .so I’m constantly in fear of what he might do next .

Even worse, are people around us , who judge me and decided what is proper for me to do without knowing the hell I’ve been living in for 26 years.

I try to be strong but It’s been an exhausting month of tolerating an extra dose of him and his people and it’s not over yet 🥺

I guess, what I’m trying to say is, pray for me 🥺

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SW-User

It upsets me greatly to see you or any woman going through this. My own sister went through it for seven years and no one including me understood what was really going on until her kids got old enough to one day tell us. Her husband was so controlling and clever at making it look like she had psychological issues and her injuries were from doing self harm, and that he was actually protecting her by living remotely to keep her away from triggers. But what was really going on was far more sinister and he had everyone convinced. It took all her family to help her get free. I really hope you can too. I hope you have someone who believes in you and understands what you're going through. At least on here you can talk to people who will understand. The people who sit in judgement of you and my sister and all those going through it anger me the most.

Niloo · 46-50, F

@SW-User
I’m so sorry to hear that.
I’m so glad she was rid of him.
I would get extremely weak periodically due to severe stress and and a cardiologist also diagnosed me with broken heart syndrome once after one of his affairs . However , barely anyone knew .
After I moved out. I realized he was telling people that I was mentally ill .

SW-User

@Niloo Thank you, and i'm glad you were able to move out but i really hope you're able to finally be free of him. Telling people you're mentally ill is such a common tactic, along with trying to isolate you from anyone that may see his true intentions. I suffered broken heart syndrome when my wife left years ago. I thought i was having a heart attack and my heart beat was irregular and blood pressure through the roof. It's hard to explain to anyone unless you've experienced it.

Data13 · 22-25, M

I'm still standing. Battered , bruised and tired. Still standing though. You've done all your paranoid, perverted mind could concoct to ruin me. Yet. Still I stand.
I will continue to stand.
I will not back down.
I will remain steadfast.
I will persevere.
My future without you is worth every stand I take.

I wish you no ill. I hold no grudge. Go in peace.

If you, though for one moment think I will not fight tooth and nail to protect what is dear to me...step back think again!

[A battle cry of sorts for you Niloo]

(I write that for you Dear Niloo. I hope in some way you will be strengthened and envigorated to fight yet another day.)

Sincerely Rohm.

Niloo · 46-50, F

@Data13
Oh my!
I love this ❤️
Hopefully other ones who are struggling get to see this and feel empowered as well .
Thank you so much 🤗🤗🤗

JustNik · 51-55, F

Oh my dear Niloo. 😔 How I wish there was something I could do! You’re smart and you’re strong. Make sure any authorities who will listen know what’s going on please. Hound them if you have to. Your terror is valid and while I hope you have a zillion moments of joy you can feel in between, it’s good you’re not complacent. Stay safe!! 🤗🤗🤗

Niloo · 46-50, F

@JustNik
Thank you my dear friend 🤗
I try my best to be safe .
It’s just that sometimes I completely run out of every bit of positivity and strength 😊

Montanaman · M

🙄😔🤗🙏🤗🙏
Dependant upon what he's done,
to warrant it, but if truly evil,
I'd put him at the top of my list.

Niloo · 46-50, F

@Montanaman
Oooh
I like this !
Maybe I can look as tough with my pepper spray ? 😬
He is pretty much the only one on my list !
However , he knows or respects no limits and I’m sure I can’t go as low as he goes …
That’s one of the reasons that I pick my battles with him carefully 😕

Montanaman · M

@Niloo Totally get that!👍🤗🤗🙏

SW-User

Maybe Lord help you, from which country you from

Niloo · 46-50, F

@SW-User
I’m Iranian but we live in the states and my ex grew up here

SW-User

@Niloo oh i see, maybe you should move out from that place, travel to new place within states and start fresh life. Away from your ex.

Niloo · 46-50, F

@SW-User
Maybe ..

4meAndyou · F

🙏🙏🙏 I have lived through that horror. 🙏🙏🙏

View 1 more replies »

4meAndyou · F

@Niloo Yes, thank you. Once my son was grown and had moved to his own place, I never had to see that creep again.

nedkelly · 61-69, M

@4meAndyou You dont like your son?

4meAndyou · F

@nedkelly I love my son. I should have said, "Once my son was grown and had moved to his own place, I never had to see his creep father again". 😉

Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F

I will pray for you but why can't you get away?

4meAndyou · F

@Justmeraeagain She has three children. There are laws about allowing a former spouse access to his children.

Niloo · 46-50, F

@Justmeraeagain @4meAndyou
True
Everyone says it gets much easier once the children are independent .

Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F

@4meAndyou okay didn't know situation

DiStefano · 46-50, M

God bless you and your endeavor 🙏

Niloo · 46-50, F

@DiStefano
Thank you :)

MoonlightLullaby

I'm sorry it's gotten to this point, sweetpea.😔

Why the hell can't he just let you be done and over already?! Why do these people get off on controlling & holding onto someone they obviously hate? The bastard must be miserable.

Niloo · 46-50, F

@MoonlightLullaby
He doesn’t want to loose control .
I’m not sure why.
It’s really hard to explain what goes through a sick mind .

MoonlightLullaby

@Niloo Yeah, I know you don't have the answers......
Just me typing as I'm thinking.
Perhaps it's time for some "protection". I know it isn't everyone's cup of tea, but you're defenseless to someone who's only grown more obsessed now that you've clearly moved on. That's frightening. I'd love to keep seeing your welcome presence & not just because I'm selfish.😉

Sending my ❤️💡&🙏's.....

Mktonght · 61-69, M

Do you have a lawyer?
I would think if you are not already, start documenting issues with him. Threatening remarks or physical actions.
Also I agree with a few other comments get some sort of restraining order.

Niloo · 46-50, F

@Mktonght
Thank you .
It would be too difficult to do that because we have a small ethnic community and most of our friends are mutual
Besides , it would make it extra difficult for the kids .
I’m pretty good at keeping my distance. This month has been difficult one 😐

Mktonght · 61-69, M

[Just know I will certainly keep you in prayer. The kids would be worse off if you are injured badly or worse. @Niloo]

VirginMatchmaker · 46-50, M

Vent as much as you want. Your ex sounds like a psycho. Why can't you get rid of him out of your life?

View 1 more replies »

VirginMatchmaker · 46-50, M

@Niloo arhh yes children, I have that problem with my ex. The divorce was easy luckily however my son is caught in the middle sometimes. He lives with me and not his mum thankfully.

Niloo · 46-50, F

@VirginMatchmaker
Hugs my friend .
I understand how difficult it is to see your child in that situation .
Hopefully our kids learn from all they go through more than they get hurt by it .

VirginMatchmaker · 46-50, M

@Niloo my son doesn't understand the situation because he has ASD and isn't a teenager yet. So I try to keep his mother at arm's length and ensure I'm around all the time she sees him because I don't trust her to do the right thing.
I certainly hope the kids learn from it.

SStarfish ·

Set a light to his sins so they stop taking his bs side

Niloo · 46-50, F

@SStarfish
I probably should
Sometimes it’s too embarrassing to tell people what I tolerated than staying quiet .
Besides , I have a small circle of close friends and unlike him and his people, I don’t get around much .