Why do i still have feelings for him if he just keeps hurting me over and over?

You love him more than you love yourself

Children abused by their parents say the same thing. Are you afraid that no one else will treat you better? That you won't find someone else? Are you afraid of what the townfolk will say?

Feelings for who he was at times and for what might have been. But hopefully you’re apart now from what sounds like a very unhealthy situation.

Not knowing you personally, at all, I am just talking out of my a$$, of course...but I was exactly the same way with my ex...with two of them, in fact.

In fact, every time I find someone I can care about, they are like the same man...abusive.

After having gone through it so many times, I have realized WHY I always choose abusive men. It's because my childhood was so abusive that I choose what I KNOW. What I know feels normal at first...and then it always spirals out of control...because I am attracted to narcissistic a-holes.

If your parent(s) were narcissists or verbally abusive toward you, then you are choosing what feels most normal to you.

If you ever reach a stage in your life where you are sick and tired of that, and you find you are tough enough to be alone, I highly recommend trying it for a while.

It's VERY hard to let go of NEEDING someone, and missing them when you have been close. Women tend to bond to their sexual partners on a biological and chemical level. It might be that your feelings are more about you than about him.

Exactly! Ask yourself that question and you will see that you need some adjustments in your life as it is not healthy to pursue someone who is not emotionally available. It just won't work, so you have to ask yourself why do I feel I need such a person? Then take steps to remedy that. Your loving him more than you love yourself and that has to change. People simply have different preferences. Nothing to do personally with you. Let him have that option and don't chase him. You keep hurting yourself over and over my clinging on to him and not accepting the fact that it's over.

Know your own worth and dont accept anything less..

Dont do that he probably is mocking you doing this

It’s hard. Feelings don’t just shut off. I’m getting divorced and I feel this in my soul but I’m slowing moving on, getting on.

Good luck. 🤘

Low self esteem? He has a spell on you?
I'm just guessing.

Sometimes you have to do the difficult thing and walk away.

Fear of the unknown, the devil you know vs. The unknown

There is no "off" button when it comes to feelings. Everything happens in stages; perhaps you have to let go of him in order for him to grow as a man and recognise what he's lost as a result of his behaviour. Despite our desire to improve individuals, we must realise that they must also desire the same things for themselves.

It's familiar. You know what to do with him. You know how things are most likely going to go. You feel like you understand what the worst that could happen is...untill it's something you completely don't see coming and your shocked about it...but at the same time you feel like you can think your way out of that kind of situation so that it doesn't happen again. Maybe if you did/said something different. Maybe if so and so wasn't involved. Maybe if it was a different time or place....but really it's just him. Nothing you do or say will change somebody untill they want to. And there's no guarantee they will ever want to. They have all the potential in the world to be different but might feel just fine with being doing the same as they always have. I hope things get better Hun❤️

He’s made you feel like you are less than you are. Emotional manipulation is the worst and so cruel. I’m sorry you are experiencing this. Please know your feelings right now have value but your worth is so much more.

I'm dealing with the same stress with an ex of mine I give her chances but then cut it off then let her back then cut it off try dating someone else and the cycle happens again with the next person it's weird

Because you've been afraid of changing since you built your life around him, but time makes you bolder, children get older and you're getting older too.

As the sensitive creachers we are we often mistakes pain and abuse to or miss understand love but it's actually selfishness and greed

It's like a drug addiction and you need to go through the cold turkey phase during de-addiction. All until you get hooked to the next.

Simple: he does something romantic, and you lose the argument with yourself.

Maybe focus your love energy on someone that deserves it

The heart may want what it wants however your better than that

Maybe there is some unresolved trauma in your past

Why isn't hurting you one, is not once too many?

You could have a could have a cord of attachment. Do you keep having dreams of him? Do you feel sluggish? Do you feel like you need him to be happy? Is it hard trying to get a date with someone else?

hearts and brains rarely take the same path. and never understand each other

Sounds like you just feel lonely or dependent.

That's normal. People remember the good times.

He satisfies some need you have...

Think of my quote. Its solid.

because you're used to him?

bad habits never go away

Because the last thing that love is....is rational.

Maybe because in reality we all know that any kind of relationship isn’t perfect

So you make the best of it

You remember the good times , you respect it and you feel the need to protect it therefore the love grows deeper between you both

Communication is very important.

Personal space is very important too.

Perhaps take a little break or start a new hobby together

I honestly don’t know. You deserve better. 🥺

Here's one of the best songs ever written about the subject.
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