Interracial relationship... Do you need to discuss potential racial issues that may come up?

@Camelia precisely why we fell out!
I found it very difficult to have a 'friend' try and justify the behaviour of men she thought was good for me, that were clearly taking the piss out of me, over men that treated me with respect, simply because they were the wrong shade.

I'm not sure what was going on there, but it was uncomfortable to say the least.

@Mellowgirl Indeed, she has a very strange mindset. Thank goodness you've moved on from her negative energy.

@Camelia I have very few but very good friends because people revealed who they were to me.
As you said negative energy but also one that was becoming increasingly controlling...

@cherokeepatti I missed out that he said he cooked a Sunday roast.

@BloviatingBuffoon I love it... I find it so interesting when two people come together and they can openly share. That's real love

@Mellowgirl He’s really black. Black is a dominant gene. Perhaps, “not really black” means lighter skinned than your relatives. I don’t really know.

@Adogslife people say to me I'm not really black. Apparently due to the way I speak, act and dress! I've also been told I can't possibly be full black due to the way I look. I find it highly insulting and incredibly ignorant especially as black people come in all shapes colours and sizes.
He is as black as any other light or mixed black person.
I think people just try to find something wrong with others to make themselves feel superior in some way.
As lovely as my sisters friend is I didn't expect that from her at all.
I mean she's my half sister and she was raised by a white man as our dad, and her mum split up, she has mixed brothers. So they know this dynamic well given how long they've been in her life it's ridiculous.

No family is perfect and no single person can say they don't know of mixed or blended households.

@Mellowgirl that was such a great answer. 🙏🏻❤️

@Keeper was it my passive aggressiveness possibly? Or maybe not.
I suppose generally speaking, I'm careful about my questions and try not to dig.
I love him and having someone do that feels like nit picking and a judgment on my choice

@Mellowgirl gotcha. I figured there was more conversation to the story that made you feel the way you do.

@Keeper it's always good to talk about these things, because someone could say that was just general chit chat. But for me, knowing it was the first time we all met it felt intrusive.

A roast is a roast. In the uk!

@DarkHeaven jokes sometimes said right can be funny.

Hey I love a good racist joke but again it depends on intention and delivery.

But we live in a very pc world and where everyone films things to put on the Internet, it's too risky you'll probably get cancelled.

I on a day to day basis can say I don't have racist thoughts or comments but when you say something like:

" A Somali woman ran away from my dog, so he chased her!"

Is she actually Somali?

Would it have been better to just say Muslim or woman?

Am I making an assumption because she's wearing a headscarf?

Someone hearing this might even think I'm being racist/disrespectful /judgemental/lacking empathy.

This did happen BTW.

But I have been known to say:

"I don't understand why Muslims always run away from dogs, the moment you do that the dog gets excited!"

Was I wrong to even think this then say it out loud?

We have to think way too much to be able to clearly communicate these days.

I think and I'm taking this advice for myself too, as long as you're happy and you're working together to make your relationship stronger that's all that matters.
Others will always have their comments you just have to decide how best to deal with it together.
Whether it's ignoring it, educating, or just removing said person from your life.

Best wishes to you both.

@Mellowgirl amen. 🖤🙏 and you both as well. Light and love.

@Picklebobble2 it's interesting that if the responsed here you seem to be the only one getting where I'm coming from.
Sometimes when people come from a close knit group they feel the need to vet another newbie and this was one of those times.

@Thevy29 I love him so I'd be really upset if someone upset him.
His race is irrelevant to me. I think someone feel like diversifying is muddying the waters, especially when they are so pro. And I get that but he is human that actually treats me right!

@iamnikki for you reading what is said seems simple because it's text.
I missed that he said he cooked a Sunday roast. As we are British most people know what that is.
Her question was specific to gain and understanding as to why following my comment about not liking spice/heat while he does.

@BritishFailedAesthetic I'm confused?

@Mellowgirl You must know all aspects of someone's culture or family culture before marrying them, if that is the direction where the relationship is going.

This is assuming you are talking about a romantic relationship in general, if you're just talking about yours, ignore.

@BritishFailedAesthetic talking about mine has nothing to do with your response had you said this first I wouldnt have been confused. You started answering as if it were for a different question.
Attitude, much!