Interracial relationship... Do you need to discuss potential racial issues that may come up?

I'm a black carribean woman dating a mixed race (white English/ black Caribbean man). This following weekend he met my sisters friends for the first time at a birthday party. Anyways one of my sisters closest friends came and spoke to us ;very shortly into the conversation after I mentioned my partner cooking dinner on new years day for me and his family. She asked him what cuisine it was. Now I understood what she was trying to figure out. But I couldn't possibly understand why, since we are all black.

Anyways he handled it well and I didn't say anything.

Later on that night I mentioned it to my mum. And she was just as annoyed as I was.

I asked my boyfriend if he noticed to which he said yes and he said it didn't bother him.

But it bothers me. I have fallen out with people due to this type of behaviour, and at one stage I even had a mixed race friend tell me that dating anything other than black was not good!

I'm not trying to stirr trouble here with us, infact I have his back, but I feel like he kinda tries to just brush things under the rug.

No ones saying he's got to be aggressive but I feel like maybe, I'm finding it more insulting because I don't see why people can't be happy that we're happy...

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Keeper · M

From reading this - I really don’t have the proper context to be honest.

I’ve had people/friends ask this same question before as it was pertaining to a general interest to the menu. Nothing else.

It sounds like in your situation, there was something else occurring that I’m not picking up in the post. Maybe some underlying passive aggressiveness?

Mellowgirl · 31-35, F

@Keeper it was definitely about the cuisine.
I had said I don't like much spice and he likes things hot, which she laugh at me for because we're both Jamaican.
So when I said he cooked at new years and toned it down that gave her the opportunity to ask what cuisine he cooked, he said a roast and then she delved deeper what meats etc and he then said he did a traditional twist, Sunday roast (his white side) with a carribean twist (his black side) the conversation died down after that.

Mellowgirl · 31-35, F

@Keeper was it my passive aggressiveness possibly? Or maybe not.
I suppose generally speaking, I'm careful about my questions and try not to dig.
I love him and having someone do that feels like nit picking and a judgment on my choice

Keeper · M

@Mellowgirl gotcha. I figured there was more conversation to the story that made you feel the way you do.

Mellowgirl · 31-35, F

@Keeper it's always good to talk about these things, because someone could say that was just general chit chat. But for me, knowing it was the first time we all met it felt intrusive.

A roast is a roast. In the uk!