Love & Attraction > Relationships

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I got men in my life who made me hate myself more, told me i am worthless.

Why is that some people get a partner who shows them how to love themselves when they are hating themselves and some people get a partner who makes them hate themselves more than they hate themselves.

They say self-love cures.... but seems like some people got partners who helped them get over their self-hatred.

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Richard65 · M

First thing to remember is that their criticism of you and their attempts to make you hate yourself is just projection. They are weak and insecure and they hate themselves. They are simply transferring that self hate and insecurity onto you because they are pathetic human beings who will never find a partner worthy of them.

Secondly, you're at fault for constantly falling for this deception. You're clearly attracted to this personality type, or you wouldn't keep getting involved with them. It's not enough to say they acted nicely to begin with, then guilt tripped you for mistakes you supposedly made. If all your partners have acted like this, then you're not noticing the red flags they are probably displaying. Before you choose another partner, analyse their behaviour and see if there's any similarities to those who have already abused you. It's not an easy thing to do, but you bear some of the responsibility for constantly finding yourself in this situation.

sahi81 · 22-25, F

@Richard65 They were all too nice on outside, too nice to me at first ! I think that's the problem. I think i am struggling with lose of identity and losing my values, opinions, identity, etc.

sahi81 · 22-25, F

@Richard65 i wanted someone to love me... idk why they turned out bad... they were too nice at first like i wanted...😔

Idk what else love feels like.

Richard65 · M

@sahi81 I don't know anything about you, other than what you post. If I were you, I'd stay away from romantic relationships for a year and spend that time finding yourself. Talk to older people who have life experience. Read, eductate yourself, talk to people about their relationships, ask advice from people you trust. Then, when you're a little wiser, perhaps look again for someone suitable. It can be a harsh world, and I'm sorry for your problems. But take time to find yourself before you look for anyone else. Good luck!

DownTheStreet · 56-60, M

Their criticism simply shows they’re afraid of you.

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DownTheStreet · 56-60, M

@sahi81 yeah so don’t let their views cloud how you feel about yourself

jehova · 31-35, M

I think ppl that doubt and undermine themself often project the same or similar negative onto others. It makes them feel better about themself putting others down (elevating themself above others?)
It also seems to be about relationship experience, sobriety, self esteem, education and upbring; in my experience.

Zeuro · 26-30, F

I’m sorry that happened. Those men don’t deserve your love. But I promise, shovel through enough muck and you’ll strike gold. Someone who both lifts you up and helps you be your best self. It’s easy to think about those bad relationships as time wasted, but they were teaching you more about what you really need.

NaturalBeautyQueen · 41-45, F

A person is not going to give you self love. You have to find love within yourself. Once you’ve mastered that, then you can learn how to not care what others think of you, and any negative people you get to remove out of your life, without hesitation. You teach people how you want to be treated.

smiler2012 · 61-69

@sahi81 them sort who attack your self confidence and worth in yourself you do not need in your world. you need too keep clear and disassociated from them sort as they will bring you down

DonaldTrumpet · 70-79, M

I canZ ShOzw u howZ to LuVz UrSeLF HuNz. SENdZ PiCtUREz fIrsTz ThO

sahi81 · 22-25, F

@DonaldTrumpet Men = bank account
Women = Body

Give me 50,000 dollars first.

DonaldTrumpet · 70-79, M

@sahi81 Wes KnOWsz whOT u iZ We JuDTz NegotiatInGz De DollaRZ HUnz

sahi81 · 22-25, F

@DonaldTrumpet sry, i didn't understand what u meant...

smileylovesgaming · 31-35, F

why would u hangout with people like that

sahi81 · 22-25, F

@smileylovesgaming they acted overly nice to me at first, later guilt trip me for small and big mistakes of mine and call me useless, worthless, dumb, etc.

smileylovesgaming · 31-35, F

@sahi81 block their number and move on

sahi81 · 22-25, F

@smileylovesgaming yes i did... In past it happened. They made me feel like everything my fault even when it's not most of time except sometimes but i don't think i was to be treated badly for my mistakes.

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