I got men in my life who made me hate myself more, told me i am worthless.

Why is that some people get a partner who shows them how to love themselves when they are hating themselves and some people get a partner who makes them hate themselves more than they hate themselves.

They say self-love cures.... but seems like some people got partners who helped them get over their self-hatred.

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Richard65 · M

First thing to remember is that their criticism of you and their attempts to make you hate yourself is just projection. They are weak and insecure and they hate themselves. They are simply transferring that self hate and insecurity onto you because they are pathetic human beings who will never find a partner worthy of them.

Secondly, you're at fault for constantly falling for this deception. You're clearly attracted to this personality type, or you wouldn't keep getting involved with them. It's not enough to say they acted nicely to begin with, then guilt tripped you for mistakes you supposedly made. If all your partners have acted like this, then you're not noticing the red flags they are probably displaying. Before you choose another partner, analyse their behaviour and see if there's any similarities to those who have already abused you. It's not an easy thing to do, but you bear some of the responsibility for constantly finding yourself in this situation.

sahi81 · 22-25, F

@Richard65 They were all too nice on outside, too nice to me at first ! I think that's the problem. I think i am struggling with lose of identity and losing my values, opinions, identity, etc.

sahi81 · 22-25, F

@Richard65 i wanted someone to love me... idk why they turned out bad... they were too nice at first like i wanted...😔

Idk what else love feels like.

Richard65 · M

@sahi81 I don't know anything about you, other than what you post. If I were you, I'd stay away from romantic relationships for a year and spend that time finding yourself. Talk to older people who have life experience. Read, eductate yourself, talk to people about their relationships, ask advice from people you trust. Then, when you're a little wiser, perhaps look again for someone suitable. It can be a harsh world, and I'm sorry for your problems. But take time to find yourself before you look for anyone else. Good luck!