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What does non-toxic/ healthy relationships feel or look like?

I never been in healthy relationships, mostly been around toxic people ( family, friends and dating/relationships) my whole life till now.
SammyJo · 51-55, F
Any relationship should ebb and flow. That is, nobody wholly takes the lead. It's shared. Thoughts and feelings are taken into consideration and reacted to respectfully.

Me and my other 'arf do try to do nice things for each other per day, whether it's opening a door for the other, or buying flowers, or just leaving a nice note or comment. It doesn't mean that you have disagreements but what it does mean are those disagreements are discussed verbally, in a calm manner, with nothing thrown or broken.

Above all, it's about feeling safe..

SJD x
SammyJo · 51-55, F
@sahi81 Worry you not. What I mean is their story, their track...what they think is right. When you have to keep pulling them up over their behaviours and attitude, it can get tiring let alone boring!

Where are you from?

SJD x
sahi81 · 22-25, FNew
@SammyJo yes, I am tired of trying to change people who don't want to change. It was like watering a dead plant

I am from India.
SammyJo · 51-55, F
@sahi81 Hugs, girl..

Well, you have a friend in me...

SJD xx
A couple things. Being wanted is amazing but being needed is a problem. Co-dependence can get toxic or abusive real quick.

Look out for people who see relationships as transactional. Compromise is one thing but someone who sees it like "I did this, so you owe me X" can be a huge red flag.

A partner should build you up, not tear you down. But they should also call you out on your bullshit and challenge you to be a better person and not enable your negative traits. And you should be able to do the same for them.


Beware anyone who isolates you socially. Your entire existence should not revolve around one person or a single relationship.
sahi81 · 22-25, FNew
@PicturesOfABetterTomorrow True.

I came from over-critical family, so i think it's not good to be harsh or critical when someone makes mistakes or does something wrong. It's important to point out bullshit of others but also it's important to point out in respectful manner instead of criticizing, shaming, judging or lashing out.
Nick1 · 61-69, M
Stay positive and surround with positive people.
This is not about culture, but choosing right people.
Good luck.
Nick1 · 61-69, M
@sahi81 It is up to us to break those restrictions imposed on us in the name of culture and open up and accept all the goodness from others.
Every culture has their good and bad things.
You have to work and practice to stay positive. Best way to start is, enjoying and appreciating small things in our life, our surroundings.
sahi81 · 22-25, FNew
@Nick1 i am open-minded. The things i want, i can't get in my culture, most ppl r very conservative here, so i want to move to other place. I am not saying everything about my culture is bad, but somethings r. The things i want, i can find in other cultures easily than here.

Even many positive ppl follow same culture lol.
Nick1 · 61-69, M
@sahi81 Hope you can make that move and be positive. Supporting you for that.
They feel happy, safe, secure,, and healthy. The opposite of how you feel in those.
Teirdalin · 31-35
At least 'till now' implies you're no longer in a toxic relationship?
sahi81 · 22-25, FNew
@Teirdalin kinda same, i too wish but it's scary that what if i get only a toxic person again. I got toxic men in my life in rows , as friends or dating. I think i was doing same mistakes and some mistakes i didn't even realise myself unless i reserached or others told me. So this last time i wanna take time and try different methods and see if results r different
Teirdalin · 31-35
@sahi81 Well, we can attempt at being friends later if you'd like. Right now I'm going to sleep though as my hours are all screwed up.
sahi81 · 22-25, FNew
@Teirdalin sure! gn. I am not here for friends since idk how long i will use this website, i only 2 days before came here to vent and find solutions/ advices for my problems. But until i stay here, we can sure be friends
nazgul · 26-30, F
It can be difficult if you're used to chaos. You might be expecting to have problems or even create problems that aren't there/don't have any logical basis because you're waiting for the other shoe to drop.
sahi81 · 22-25, FNew
@nazgul all i want is peace 🥺
DoubleRings · 51-55, F
I’m not sure it exists tbh. Everything and everyone is toxic in some way
Dumbman · 36-40
Toxic relationships are not relationships.
RedBaron · M
What DO they look like…
DearAmbellina2113 · 41-45, F
I'm in the same boat.
a disney movie...
[media=https://youtu.be/VFVl3kjq4kE]

 
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