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is it normal for guys to jerk off to their girls voice?

I started dating a guy like a week ago but we’ve known each other for few years before dating, we discussed everything and decided not to be sexually intimate before marriage because both of us are date to marry people and do not believe in sex before marriage according to our religious beliefs
Couple of days ago we were on a call and I noticed that he’s jerking off to my voice, I hung up right away and he called like an hour after and I confronted him about it and told him that I’ve felt extremely uncomfortable about it. He kept apologizing, expressing regret and last night he showed up at my house crying for forgiveness
Idk if I’m making a big deal out of it or what should I do not actually know what to do
Because I’ve never been through something similar before
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SW-User
PLEASE! I just looked over your posts and I refer to "Why is it always the second guy who treats me right not the one I love" written 1 month ago. How can you break up with your fiance, not be able to eat for a month, and then give this guy who crushes on you a chance. With no strings attached you said. And suddenly there are strings and agreed to boundaries? I think you either have no idea what love is or are just another attention seeker with your posts. Either way, you have lost credibility with me regarding this post.
@SW-User well said
SaltnLime · 70-79, M
Well, the "no sex before marriage" might have something to do with that. Just sayin'.
pinacoladaa · 31-35, F
@SaltnLime I get what you’re saying but dragging me into without my consent kinda freaked me out
SaltnLime · 70-79, M
@pinacoladaa Fair enough. But you could also see it as the ultimate compliment and evidence of his desire for you.
Waiiiit on facetime or legit just the sound of your voice? Cuz if just the sound of your voice gets him allllll energized he prob will be 10 times worse when he gets the real thing careful missy thats pretty weird
pinacoladaa · 31-35, F
@TryingtoLava we were on ft but his camera was off because “he was getting ready for work” and I was in bed covered with a blanket and my face was barely showing
th3r0n · 41-45, M
@TryingtoLava wtf? Have you HAD a boyfriend?

People don't talk about it, but that's not weird at all...
th3r0n · 41-45, M
@TryingtoLava dear, if you and I were on the phone and I started masturbating, THAT would be weird (I wouldn't, you're cute if I recall but that would be disrespectful since we don't have any romantic relationship and don't even flirt together so don't worry) but I would actually think it was weird if a guy had never done that with his girlfriend on the phone when they're not being sexual in person
SW-User
Wait until you find out what he does with your instagram posts
Moneyonmymind · 31-35, M
@SW-User XD
SalttyDawg · 70-79, M
Have you ever bought a pair of shoes without trying them on first 🤷‍♂️
Bowenw · 61-69, M
Normal to tell her, not to do it secretly.
novaguy2u · 70-79, M
I've never been tempted to do that. I guess it's because he has repressed desires that he can't express any other way.
pinacoladaa · 31-35, F
@novaguy2u Yeah I guessed that too
But the thing is I’ve felt uncomfortable about him dragging me into it non consensually
novaguy2u · 70-79, M
@pinacoladaa Yep, I can absolutely understand that. It was offensive.
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th3r0n · 41-45, M
That's very normal, but most of the time it's a thing understood to be ok between a girlfriend and boyfriend

Guys will need to let some out at some point, and if he's not looking at porn (I would hope not since you said you both have morals and religion) then of course you're what he's thinking about when masturbating

In the end though, it's up to you to decide how comfortable you are or aren't with him doing it without telling you while on the phone
He isn’t ready for marriage if he is going to ignore your stated personal boundaries. I understand forgiveness but he is abusing Christianity to push sexuality as a major item even if you had already discussed it. Maybe a Christian relationship counselor would help but he seems like a lost cause.
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pinacoladaa · 31-35, F
@tfan123 Yeah I get that it’s normal to be sexually attracted to your partner but what I’m talking about is breaking some boundaries that we’ve both set together, idk if it’s alarming
tfan123 · 46-50, M
@pinacoladaa Hmm I can see where you are coming from. Maybe he thought you would be happy that he was doing that only to you? But yeah he probably should have asked if it was ok with you to do that to your voice. If you had said no, then he would still probably masturbate to your voice in his head while you could not hear or see him.
SW-User
I've never experienced this but honestly think it is much ado about nothing.

breaking some boundaries that we’ve both set together

Are you honesty expecting me to believe that the two of you discussed boundaries concerning masturbation? Please, tell me the boundaries you two discussed. You discussed no sex before marriage. Are you classifying masturbation as sex? I certainly wouldn't. And as it was one sided it doesn't fall into the phone sex realm in my opinion. He masturbated to your voice, not your words. Whether you knew or not in this particular situation doesn't sway my view. Do you tell him what/when/where/how/why when you masturbate? This is pretty much a case of him fantasizing about you while he masturbates.
pinacoladaa · 31-35, F
@SW-User We specifically discussed the whole masturbation thing. like on a call, FaceTime and even if it happened to be and we were in the same room
I completely appreciate that he desires me and finds me that attractive
But as I mentioned I never experienced something like that before
and that’s why I’m on the internet asking strangers anonymously. so I can really know if it’s a big deal or such a normal thing and it’s forgivable because I’ve felt uncomfortable and I can’t invalidate my own feelings
But I can control my actions and I can’t take an action without knowing anything about the situation itself
It depends. I would think in a grocery store for instance that would be frowned on.
PaleandPolluted · 36-40, F
As someone who's had exs who weren't interested sexually when I wasn't there and preferred looking at photos of strangers i would love this to happen to me.
astrosandorbits · 26-30, M
@PaleandPolluted your profile picture cracks me up so much🤣
ChipmunkErnie · 70-79, M
Totally normal if you deny him other methods of relief.
I've heard of stranger kinks, but it's all about how you feel and what you want from it.
Rpfun78 · 61-69, M
You agreed not to have sex till after you’re married. It does not mean he does not want to have sex with you. He’s respecting the boundaries. You both have said I’m sure he’s gone home after a few dates and masturbated. If he’s talking to you on the phone he’s probably thinking about how beautiful you are and masturbated you should be happy that he masturbating and not trying to find sex from someone else till you’re married. You definitely should forgive me.
Mordechai · 31-35, M
He's just got a lot of sexual tension built up for you.
lostlissa · 36-40, F
I wouldnt think it to be a big deal. But i have never heard of jerking off to a voice. He was probably watching porn which i dont think is a big deal either.
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Fact, guys need to c_m every two days or their balls hurt and they cannot think of anything except s_x. Maybe you can find a way to keep him normal without doing the deed completely. Think about what it is like when you are married, sleeping together, being unable to hide anything forever after.
Sounds like something he does with girls. Watch your step with this guy.

RED FLAG ALERT!!!
RedBaron · M
What he did was an act of intimacy.

If you truly love him, why would you be uptight about it and deny him the pleasure?

If I was him, I would bail on you so fast your head would spin.
pinacoladaa · 31-35, F
@RedBaron denying him the pleasure is a thing and breaking a boundary that we’ve both discussed and set as two adults is another
and I’m so in love with him that I’m here on the internet asking strangers about it anonymously because I have no idea about the whole situation so I can at least have the bare minimum of knowledge about it to be able to do what’s best for him
RedBaron · M
@pinacoladaa And I just gave you my opinion.

Waiting to be physically intimate is one thing, but masturbation is natural and normal, not dirty or anything to be ashamed of.

Release from masturbation is quite healthy, and denying oneself that is what is abnormal and unnatural.
Jessmari · 46-50
One sided masturbation to your voice without consent is weird and gross.You're totally right to feel the way you do. It sounds like you two need to have a conversation about what is acceptable. All i see is a huge emphasis on what is not acceptable which might leave the door open to more awkward things like this happening.
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ViciDraco · 41-45, M
Masturbating to a voice is normal, but usually kept to a recording or if live, sexual talk. Just rubbing one out on the phone without the conversation being sexual is a little creepy to me. Like, save it for after the call unless the other person expresses interest.
Moneyonmymind · 31-35, M
I wouldn't say its normal, but it is different

 
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