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Now I don't feel special, am I wrong?

My girl, has sent "special pictures" of herself to me while we were dating. I felt special because this conservative woman was sending me "special pictures." Later I learned that she had sent "special pictures" to other men in the past. In some cases it was the exact pose that she sent to me. Am I less valuable and special because I got the same as other guys?

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SimplyTracie · 26-30, F

Why don’t you just take your own “special pictures” of her?

I’m thinking that if you keep being jealous, she’s gonna be send those pics to her new special guy.

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SimplyTracie · 26-30, F

@Capt11 You’re hurt I get it. But if you make it an issue, she’s gonna send “special pictures” to someone else. She cannot undo her past.

As I said, take your own “special pictures”.

Capt11 · 51-55, M

That is good advice thank you I am not sure what I am going to do at this time. Yes I am hurt but I'm more disappointed. I have truly learned a powerful lesson.

SimplyTracie · 26-30, F

@Capt11 That’s good

Miram · 31-35, F

She belongs to you now. Her past experiences don't have to be related to her current choices. You will have to learn to accept the past, there's nothing she can do to change it.

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Miram · 31-35, F

@Capt11 you are also dating the same woman, does that mean you aren't special?

I am not missing the bigger picture. You are focused on a single action and you generalise that to ALL, EVERYTHING you mean to her. There are other things she can do that she never did for other people and her love for you can be different regardless of how she expresses it.

Capt11 · 51-55, M

@Miram Thank you for your point of view I truly appreciate it.

Miram · 31-35, F

@Capt11 You are welcome

WoodyAq · M

I walked up to the bar and said to the bartender, "Surprise me." He showed me a naked picture of my wife!

Seriously though, at our age, any woman (or man) whose lived has a past. She had special guys in the past ... and I'm sure they were quite special to her then.

The right question isn't "am I more or less special," it's "who's special now?"

As long as that's only you, rejoice.

Capt11 · 51-55, M

@WoodyAq Thank you for the joke. That is an interesting prospective, I don't want to marry a woman go before God and make vows if I am just the right now guy.

WoodyAq · M

@Capt11 True. And I said it wrong. Because that is a different issue: are you the right now guy, and thus a future guy of the past? Or are you right now the guy of the future?

The answer has nothing necessarily to do with what happened in her past. Those relationships didn't work. If yours will, that makes you more special.

greenmountaingal · 70-79, F

Obviously, you are not unique in her experience of boyfriends. Of course, she does care for you in some sense or she wouldn't send them at all. But maybe you are expecting more than she is able to provide...?

Are you giving her a lot materially, like money or expensive gifts?

Also, is she a real life person or a long distance relationship?

If the above questions can be answered "yes" and "long distance" and you've been giving her money but haven't met her... you might be in the process of being played or even conned.

Capt11 · 51-55, M

@greenmountaingal thank you for the education and prospective. Yes she is a real life person. Yes I have looked out for her and her child. You are right I do expect a lot in that part of the relationship however, I give a lot. I think this is just another example of us not being compatible. Love is not everything I am old enough to know that now.

greenmountaingal · 70-79, F

@Capt11 You may be right. Time will tell.

AcidBurn

Is she dating them, or you? There's your answer.

Capt11 · 51-55, M

@AcidBurn I thank you for taking the time to respond but if I am going to work harder and be better then the last guy should I get more?

AcidBurn

@Capt11 You have her. What more do you want?
If you think you deserve better, do her a favor and leave.

Capt11 · 51-55, M

I did break it off with her. I do not believe it wasn a good situation. I am truly trying to learn reflect and be a better man. I think in my future I will not expect to be truly special.

PoetryNEmotion · F

So, not so special then. Why would she send the same photos? You are not like other men. I think she is undesirable. Tell me, are you still with her? She could easily have sent other special photos to you.

Capt11 · 51-55, M

@PoetryNEmotion no I am no longer with her.

PoetryNEmotion · F

@Capt11 And you are okay?

Capt11 · 51-55, M

My heart is extremely resilient. Do I feel bad yes I do. Do I let that control my life today no I do not. I have grown to understand a few things. First it takes creativity desire hard work to make things unique in a relationship. Second it is not hard to make a relationship bad. Next your past matters so you should be upfront about it. I look forward to what life will bring me next the great opportunities that I am facing to discover love, partnership, friendship, companionship, and happiness.

marcusaurelius

she's not a bad person but if I were you I would look into her behavior and see whether I'm just the next pig in the line

Capt11 · 51-55, M

@marcusaurelius I do not know what you mean by pig in line but I thank you for taking the time to post a comment.

marcusaurelius

@Capt11 I mean are you the special guy or just another person among her string of lovers.

Capt11 · 51-55, M

I am sure every person thinks that the lover they are currently with is their forever lover. Then there is heartbreak you move on. Soon you have more lovers and more heartache.

SW-User

Can’t help but wonder why you even bothered posting this to be honest. You’ve pretty much disagreed or shot down what everyone has said like haven’t even thought about it

Capt11 · 51-55, M

@SW-User I do think about it, I am glad people can be honest. My eyes have been opened, it is what I do with the information that is important. I thank you for your time.

SW-User

Have you ever sent “special” pictures to other women?

Capt11 · 51-55, M

@SW-User Yes to my ex wife and her. They were never the same I always made sure she got something different and unique.

SW-User

I understand that. Man to Man though I honestly don’t think it’s fair for us to get mad about it but maybe that’s just me@Capt11

Capt11 · 51-55, M

@SW-User Thank you for the honesty I appreciate your time. I think if I am going to put in the effort to make her special pictures pretty special I should get the same.

Speedyman · 70-79, M

What is important isn't pictures it's relationship.

Capt11 · 51-55, M

@Speedyman You should feel special in a relationship. I think it is hard to believe you would sacrifice your life for a woman who you don't feel makes you special.

SW-User

Maybe she was just lazy to take new pictures.

Capt11 · 51-55, M

@SW-User I do not think you understand. I saw that old picture and I saw the new pictures

Shine · 26-30, F

She treated you the same as the others.

Capt11 · 51-55, M

@Shine You are absolutely correct I think that is the sad reality that I must accept. Thank you for your comment.

5thApprentice · 31-35, M

Guess the pictures weren't so special then eh? Lol

Capt11 · 51-55, M

@5thApprentice Perhaps you are correct thank you for your comment.

bijouxbroussard · F

Guess that's what she does with boyfriends. But you were still her boyfriend. You'd be less special if she just posted them online for the public at large.

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