I call them friend because we are friends. At this age, after surviving youth and trying/failing marriage, friends can have sex. Sex is healthy and fun. So is having friends. No need to complicate it or label it.

I can't speak for actual genetic ladies (or ladies at all perhaps as I'm not always ladylike) but I refer to the man I feel closest to, even though we can only rarely meet, as my lover.

Boyfriend to me connotes a different sort of relationship somehow but I'm not sure I can articulate it. A boyfriend to me is a more constant companion for however long it lasts whereas a lover can be one's lover even if you haven't met for a year, as in my case :-(.

But perhaps he can be all of those, in turn or all at once, depending on mood and circumstance.

I'm curious though, what did your daughter mean when she "sarcastically referred to us as lovers"? What is there to be sarcastic about?

*Groans* I get that!

As you get older it feels silly to call the other person boyfriend or girlfriend. I married my wife a) when it was legal to do so, and b) in my 40's and my eldest daughter used to find it funny to call her my girlfriend, or lover for that matter.

I think we settled on something like, in my case, "This is Karen, we're together.." and then, later, my "other half..".

But it is a mindfield!

SJD x

We refer to each other as "My person" as well as partner/ boyfriend/girlfriend etc. But I like thinking of him as my person so he rolled with me on it and enjoyed it. It stuck. I'm 42, he's 56.

Noncommitted. In my book, anyway. What others do is up to them. I would feel he's emotionally unavailable, just using me, but that's just me.

I'm single so this is only hypothetical but for me it will be friend until he becomes a partner. I'm an old fashioned romantic and if he's not able to commit to something serious, he's not getting into my knickers. Been burned by too many hopeless twonks before I met my husband so I'm not going down that road again. I will make sure he's worth it.

Well, my late lady companion -- both of us were in our 70's-early 80's -- referred to each other as partner when explaining the connection was required. Legally we were Domestic Partners, but more likely it was growing up with all those Westerns on TV, radio, and in movies. But unless an explanation of our physical connection was required, just our names were enough. The relationship was pretty self-evident.

My mom is 72 she calls her partner her boyfriend. It seems natural to me. What is she going to call him, her old friend, her mature friend, man friend

I've heard the expression 'going out' in reference to school age couples seen as romantic partners, even though they were only together at school and never actually accompanied each other to any other venue.

I live with a woman 20 years younger than myself, have for 10 years. We call each other partners.

I'm not a lady... but I am over 40. I think boyfriend works... it has a well established meaning.

He's my soulmate no other word even comes close to describing him.

When I was kid the older women had "friends". I like lover lol I always say that. Never liked the term boyfriend

In my head, the word is LOVER.
But when speaking of a lover to someone else, I simply use the name, leaving the listener to interpret the relationship.
(But then I'm bisexual !)

Im not sure what’s wrong with boyfriend at any age.

A simple “my fella” works fine. You could always go with “gentleman caller” if you wanted to attach a breathy southern accent to it.

FWBs if you two are doing the deed but not committed. Wait I’m not supposed to reply to this but yeah 👀

That actually is romantic... ;-)

This is my guy or man. Sounds more romantic

Unless you're 25 or younger boyfriend sounds pretty dumb. (my opinion)
Maybe just say "beau"

Friend with benefits

She calls me her husband

Friends with benefits. The dream of all mature aged people after several relationships (married or not) have self destructed earlier in life

What a problem to have ;)

You call her (or him) by her (or his) name ...

A semi-significant other?

Other than that you bang whenever you feel like it, why would you call him by anything other than his name? Or his professional title?

The Guy you hookup with for sex