I had a curious encounter with an ex fiancée , thirty years after we split. We had been together for two years as students . I had mourned her terribly. We had finished up at different unis. I assumed it was the distance.

No, it was the guy who brought her to Oxford to see me.
I never knew, and they married within a year, still are I think.

So, with that I say, once the ship has sailed, move on and never look back.

No. I tried to make it work after I left my second ex, then she got panicky and claimed to still want to be friends. We tried mediation twice and it didn't work. I had to take her to court to force her to agree to parenting orders that provided a good outcome for our daughter. The DV, abuse, and bullying she directed AT me and our daughter in the first year of our daughter's life, then continuing sporadically after I left, has made me never want to get back with her regardless of how attractive physically she is and a big reason I now have so much fear of relationships, sex, etc..

Sex with her was always about her getting off and never about mutual 'love' or actually including me. I lost interest in sex in year 2 of the relationship and then when she got pregnant at about 3.5 yrs (from IVF and egg donor - not from sex with me) all romance and sex was 'withdrawn'. I kept trying, but it was a total waste of time and effort.

So for me, I find the idea of 'making up' with an ex is absolutely off the table.

I just voted for sometimes it works.

If he's local again then there's no reason you shouldn't go on a few dates and see how that goes. Getting to know each other, all over again

I think it’s okay to get back with an ex if the reason you broke up in the first place has been genuinely resolved. Otherwise, you're just walking back into the same cycle with new hopes but the same problems.

That depends on a lot of things. I've heard scenarios of exes getting back together and making it work the second time around. I don't think there's anything innately wrong with getting back with an ex. Unless they were unfaithful, then yeah, that's never a good idea. But otherwise, if the cause for your breakup was something that can be resolved and you believe things can improve this time, then go with your instincts. In the end, it's up to you and what you think is the right move. I would only suggest considering it very carefully if you're sure it's a good idea.

I know a couple who were married for 10 years or so, divorced for a couple years, then remarried. They’ve been together now for 20 or so years this time. It can work

I’ll never say no. Most times it doesn't. However, I met 2 people that dated as teenagers. Drifted apart and got back together 20 years later.

in my not so humble opinion people don't really change that much, if at all, over time.

there is a reason for one or both of you that the relationship ended.

it may last a bit, and the familiariity will be pleasant.

but those old habits and attitudes will raise their ugly head again...and the problems that broke you up to start with - will probably do it again.

It depends on why you broke up and whether those things have changed or been resolved. It’s easy to look back with rose tinted glasses and forget the down sides.

I think there are times when it's perfectly "ok", and this seems like one of those. You know there is always a risk of at least one of you getting hurt, no matter what... whether it's someone new or an ex.

If as you’ve said, you ended things on good terms and long distance was the main reason the relationship ended but is no longer an issue, then giving it another try doesn’t sound unreasonable.

i usually think of it as they became an ex for a reason. if they couldn't grow or change and i couldn't accept and move on or vice-versa, its unlikely to ever be different.

familiar or comfortable doesn’t mean its the right path.

I believe in setting old unsettled anger and animosity, hurt or misunderstandings.

I personally myself do not believe getting back together with an ex is the best choice

That really depends why you split. I wouldn't get back with any of my exes.

It's something I've done a couple of times along the way and always regretted it in the end. Everyone's different though. :)

Well, I was in the minority. Love is brutal, love is wild. Take care!

there is an old saying, you never go back, the reason you broke up is still there so nothing has really changed, why would you put yourself through that again

It depends on the reason it didn't work out before. Some things can change, other things won't.

I married my ex… in 3 years we divorced!

I suppose it depends on the reason(s) that they are an "ex" in the first place....

If i was you make sure if you are giving it another make sure its for the right reasons

Totally depends on break up situation

Hey mamacita
First off, it depends on why they're an ex

It depends (be sure he doesn't wear Depends also, cause then he's too old for you):

Was the split acrimonious?
Was there infidelity?
Are you compatible?

It depends on why the relationship ended.

Has never worked out well for me.

It depends on the people you have become.

Hell no lol, I'd rather be alone 😂

Probably I would never,

i want to refry those beans with just one ex in particular

Maybe, maybe not. Who knows

Seldom a good thing .. some bridges shouldn't just be burned ..

Sure! But it depends on your reasoning. There’s good and bad reasons for doing that.

You won’t know until you try.

There was and is a reason that he is called Ex

They're ex for a reason

It prevents whackadoodles from wasting MY time, so yeah.

"Ever"? Yes, however 19/20 when this question is asked, the answer is 'no'. And of the remaining 1/20, 7/10 the answer is still 'no'

I had & will never have an interest

No

No

Yes, I think a connection is a connection, why not?
I saw an ex for years, but unfortunately she’s the one who broke away from me now.