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The things men say.

Lately I’ve been talking to this new dude. But I noticed when I say let’s hangout or do something he says naw I don’t want any problems. I sense another female is involved… men is this something you say to women if you’re in a toxic or messy relationship ???
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AngelUnforgiven · 51-55, F
Why not just ask him what he meant? I am not going to play these games with people. I am going to ask you straight up if you would like to get closer so that there's no confusion. I would have said, "what do you mean, confusion how?" And waited for him to explain. It could have meant that he wanted more, meaing if we do that it, it might start something. Who knows. Always ask!
Renkon · M
Men are generally straightforward, so confusion often comes down to one of two things:

He’s genuinely unsure...he doesn’t fully understand what he wants or what he’s getting into. When he says, “I don’t want any problems,” it could mean he’s uncertain or afraid of where things might lead.

Or, He may have misunderstood your intention. He might have taken your invitation at face value....just a casual hangout...without realizing you meant it as something more, possibly romantic.

The best way forward? Be clear and honest. If you like him, tell him. Ask directly if he’d like to go on a date...not just a hangout. Keep it simple. Clarity cuts through confusion. If he feels the same, you’ll know. If not, you’ll have your answer without overthinking.
I believe that’s what’s known as a red flag. I’d find a new new dude to talk to.
@OlderSometimesWiser I think thats more of a red flare!
Adogslife · 61-69, M
I think it’s his way of making sure YOU’RE not the problem. He’s involved with another woman. If you move forward, he wants to make sure you won’t cause waves.

He’s not turning you down without asking indirectly what he’s got… imho.
Rudboy41 · 41-45, M
The red flag is him basically saying no thanks, the only explanation being " i dont want any problems" i.e seeing you will create problems for him.. For some reason he doesnt like your intentions or the thought of being with you, so drop him.

As a guy i would give that answer under three circumstances:
1) the person, who has romantic intentions, asking me to hang out is a man and gay.
2) im already in or starting a relationship with another lady
3) if i knew you and i were related and i sensed your intentions are more than plutonic.
Guitarist07 · 31-35, F
@Rudboy41 I’m choosing number 2 I’m just reminding myself … he had relationship signs in the way he spoke
dale74 · M
I don't know could be good also be women are wonderful when you're just talking to them. When they're real turns out to be drama.
Locke ·
No it’s something you say when someone with red flags wants to hang out with you.

He’s telling you in a civil way he’s not interested.
bookerdana · M
He might be introverted or afraid of rejection
Maybe something happened in past and likes to stay at home for now.
YoMomma · 41-45
Someone you talking to in person or online?
Convivial · 26-30, F
Sounds like he might be in an arrangement...
He might just not be interested. Simple as that.
masterofyou · 70-79, M
Yeah maybe he's married, yah think??
Guitarist07 · 31-35, F
@masterofyou he’s divorced his first wife but tbh I thought the same with this odd behavior. He’d even say he didn’t wana hurt anyone. I do also know once we were texting once, and he supposedly “ tripped” up the stairs with his drink in his hand and was admitted to ER. This feels like he got pushed. He backed away then too. But still tries to talk months later each time. 👀
Donotfolowme · 51-55, F
He is married and have kids.
Sounds like he's married or with someone.
come2gether · 46-50, M
Lol, sounds like he's had a lot of problems with women. It's not you, it's the female thing to cause problems
Guitarist07 · 31-35, F
@come2gether agreed, I gave him the boot. It made me feel uncomfortable.
BigGuy2 · 31-35, M
I get out if it's toxic, so no
Seems like a cut him loose and move on
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ShenaniganFoodie · 36-40, M
[media=https://vocaroo.com/112yLBqbXwt7]

 
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