How much do you value physical intimacy in a relationship? Sometimes I feel it’s overvalued...

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How much do you value physical intimacy in a relationship?

Sometimes I feel it’s overvalued but other times I find that it’s a major factor in the success of the relationship.

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A year ago my wife went through the menopause. Her sex drive has gone down a lot but from time to time she is in the mood and sex is always very good.

zonavar68 · 56-60, M

@nevergiveup I wonder if this is sort of why women in mature age range become a lot more self-focused (selfish if you will) and feel that everything is about them and you're not good enough (including in itimacy/romantic terms) unless everything is for their pleasure and they don't get obligated to give back?

Poetryinmotion51 · 46-50, F

@zonavar68 that’s very unfair and a big generalization

zonavar68 · 56-60, M

@Poetryinmotion51 Generalisation maybe, but I see the selfishness almost in totality in all the mature women I've tried to approach in person and online (when I still was trying that method to find people). I know that's still a small subset overall, but I can only go off my personal experiences. My second ex is a classic case of that once she became pregnant with our daughter and it became much worse after the birth.

meggie · F

My partner had prostate cancer recently and it's sadly left him impotent. I love him and would never want anyone else. Sex is not everything to me.

HootyTheNightOwl

How do you make a relationship work without any of these things???

I know I can't do it. I could make it work with a few things missing - but not with nothing there at all.

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Elisbch · M

@HootyTheNightOwl

I think if you're loved and feel secure with your partner and you're getting reassurance from each other and support, a lot of that feeling of being close with your partner can be very satisfying especially when there may not be able to be a lot of sex very often or any. Knowing that your partner has your back is priceless when combined with mutual love that's shown and not assumed. imho.

HootyTheNightOwl

@Elisbch Yes, sex is still a very small part of a healthy and loving relationship. There are other things on this list that I can get just as much pleasure and enjoyment from giving and receiving as I get from sex.

The thing is that it's hard to make a relationship work when there's nothing there in terms of physical intimacy of any sort and you're left feeling like a burden for even trying to start a conversation.

Elisbch · M

@HootyTheNightOwl

Agreed. 😊👍🏻

in10RjFox · M

Its a double edged sword. Physical intimacy is ruining relationship as each gets overly exposed to the other by living together. So the best is not to live together and spend only a few hours a week of intimacy. Rest can be managed by phone / texts. The other extreme of no physical intimacy for long, will also end the relationship, as other factors would come in between.

IM5688 · 61-69, M

I have always enjoyed it and found it to be a healthy part of the relationship. It's too bad my partner is just the opposite, which makes me crave it even more.

Kuronekko · 41-45, FNew

I have some sensory issues so sometimes i need my own space, but when im in the mood I love to be physical. I do not like to be groped or pestered for sex all the time though. Its such a turn off.

Morvoren · F

It’s very important. If I didn’t have it for any reason our relationship would still be strong, but I love my man.

PEACH4LIFE · 46-50, F

Physical intimacy is very important to me. I love holding hands, hugging, cuddling, sitting in his lap. Intercourse is great but when you have all of the above it makes it even better!

JustNik · 51-55, F

I think it’s important, but given that there hasn’t been an abundance of it for the last 25 years and I’m still here, it is apparently not the most important thing to me.

SissySecrets · 46-50

It’s a lovely part if the relationship. Especially when time is precious and we’ll spent.

SmileOnYourBrother

If you truly love and trust your partner, everything else comes hand in hand. It's not something to worry about. It will be there, or you will find a way.

3Dogmatic · 46-50, M

It’s paramount as is emotional intimacy. They are symbiotic to a good relationship.

MaryDreamilton · 46-50, F

I feel that it’s a major factor in the success of the relationship.

zonavar68 · 56-60, M

When it's very one sided it doesn't mean much regardless of how much effort you put into making it fun and exciting. Especially when you get rebuffed by your partner and keep getting made to feel like you aren't worthy or deserving or she's 'dirty' or some other excuse.

scorpiolovedeep · 51-55, M

It has its importance in a relationship.

It enhances the relationship more so when they have a really good emotional connection and better understanding.