Is it normal to insist not telling someone your story until you meet ?

That's a huge red flag.
1). He's still married and has a family already. Think what you want, but the unforseen consequences are that the both of you will definitely complicate your lives. If the wife files for divorce on infidelity, obviously child support will be brought up. It'll hurt financially and then having to deal with co-parenting and ex wife drama.
2). He's already proven to be unfaithful. He's talking to you on the premise for an intimate relationship while he's obligated to his family. So what's to say, he leaves his family, has fun with you, but decides he wants someone or something more?
3). 11 days in and he's wanting to meet, talk about a future with you, wants YOU to follow him around across the world stripping you of the life you built and cutting you away from your lifeline (family and friends). It's about him, so it's not 50/50 here.
4). It could be just a preference that he wants to talk face to face than over text. He could be an old school guy, sure...but from what you revealed about him, he lied to you about his relationship status by omission...which seems to be his tactic to remain a mystery to you considering the way you both talk through the phone. You spilling everything about you, and he just doesn't reciprocate that. Most likely, as someone else pointed out, he's a great manipulator in person and will play on your feelings with him. Texting limits people on how they present themselves.
5). It's only 11 days in. To my knowledge, just an assumption, is that you met him 7 years ago. A lot could have changed during those years so obviously based on the other reasons I gave, you don't know him as well as you think you do. So, think of him as a stranger. If you had an interest in someone you just met, reasonably you wouldn't follow their every whim, especially over life changing decisions. 11 days isn't long enough. To me, it's like he's speed running through this to have a change of pace for whatever reason that has nothing to do with you but more so about his family. It could be anything from, I'm in an unhappy marriage and want to live out my fantasies to I'm having some sort of mid-life crisis and need a change of pace.

All of those things, you do not want to meddle in. Just keep living your life, keep being successful, and the right guy may find you. I guarantee you, the right man wouldn't ask so much of you in a deceptive way. You sound like you've made up your mind about this whole fling, so I hope this helps you keep your confidence in doing what's best for you.

Run. And be grateful that the past 11 days have given you an important life lesson without the almost certain painful experience that is likely to follow, if you go down this path.

RUN

He's the rare sort who can lie to your face better than over the phone.
Read your final sentence. There's your answer.

If he is being secretive about being married, that is pretty disgusting.

But, in general, I am also someone who would rather be face-to-face before sharing intimate details, so the two of us can be attuned to things like vocal inflections and facial expressions. Not to mention positive developments like holding hands or hugging in response.

But of course, I am an "old guy" and did not grow up with texting and messaging as the norm.

Y’all have only known each other for 11 days??

So, this is insane.

Honestly if this happened to me... I'd run, because it sounds scary.
Doesn't matter if you met him 7 years ago ...he lied to you about family and moving to Japan.
How do you know what else he's going to do or lie to you about?
What about his wife she doesn't deserve any kind of respect?
Honestly, the way you describe him he sounds unstable.

Do you honestly believe that just because you met him 7 years ago while he was dating another person, that that means you KNOW anything about him?

If you will not listen to the many, many people here who have WARNED you, then you probably deserve the horrible and painful mess that your life will become if you hook up with this guy.

Yes, I would say that's the smart thing to do.

But, you have only "known" each other not even a full two weeks and already all this? Yikes! Plus pushing you to meet him. I would extricate myself.

Go with your gut. If you feel to end it. Then end it.

I see a lot of red flags here. He seems like the type of guy you see on TV that is married to two people at the same time. I think you should err on the side of caution.

How can you talk about houses and kids with any kind of seriousness after only 11 days of just phone calling and never meeting in person?

So he can’t tell you more about him but he can tell you he wants to marry you without having you met yet? Red Flag!

NOT GOOD...you are getting played. Get out while you can.

It's not normal. It's a kinda gaslighting tactics to lure the person in stages where are too into the slush and can't jump out. An entrapment like a not so quick sand.

It's better to chop the relationship as he could be a perpetual negotiator who will keep making promise after promise only to break them , as they keep changing their terms using our memory that forgetful.

Nothing about this situation is normal.

Yeah, I am sorry. It's not meant to be it will only hurt you. He will never leave his wife and kids for you, he would only keep you as a side piece and string you along and his kids would resent you. You're attractive, you will be able to find a better man soon.

Well he sounds sus as hell. I wouldn't meet him or if you must, make it a really busy place like a coffee shop. I don't know about this...safety number 1

@mellie personally i think you should not waste your time with this guy he has a wife and family 🤷‍♂kick him into touch as somebody is going too get hurt

IMHO.... the relationship is moving way too fast 😔.
Your conscience is telling you to stop. Listen to your inner self. 🙂

It's quite normal. This is what we used to do before smartphones became ubiquitous. We used to meet and completely engage while looking each other in the eyes.

Nope. Nothing about this makes any sense. You need to get out of this mess before you end up getting hurt.

Easier to gaslight and manipulate in person.

You are too young to be getting all this baggage

Move on

that’s a huge red flag. MARRIED BEFORE MOVING TO JAPAN? GIRL RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.