Is it normal to insist not telling someone your story until you meet ?

The man I am talking to right now is telling me that he needs to see me in person in order to tell me «everything» because doing this on social media is not very « convenient»
The thing is, yesterday I discovered that he was married and he has two children from his previous marriage. Plus he is a man who moves a lot so he is willing to live in Japan next years for professional reasons.
It’s been exactly 11 days that we are calling each other, talking… I told him everything about my life and my past but he never waited a minute telling me. All what he have been saying: I need to see you face to face in order to tell you all about it.
But I said everything on the phone? Why is that make it any different ?
I accidentally discovered all theses informations about his previous life and I was shocked! Why didn’t I ask him before? I feel stupid because I am now on a stage where I started to have real feelings and we started talking about the house and kids.. he says that we will get married before going “to live in Japan”
I am thinking about ending all this crap because my head is burning so bad and I need energy to put it somewhere else!

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PowerofStories · 61-69, M

Run. And be grateful that the past 11 days have given you an important life lesson without the almost certain painful experience that is likely to follow, if you go down this path.

PowerofStories · 61-69, M

@PowerofStories Let me add to my answer in way that may not seem so harsh.

The fact that he didn't tell you he is married or has kids and that you only found out about it by accident is a huge red flag. The fact that he is ready to run off with you without telling his family is another huge red flag. If you still have hope but need to verify for certain that this is a dead end relationship, there is a lot you can do to check him out legally. Some suggestions.

1. Create another email address that you need only for this purpose and use a video software (Zoom, etc) to invite him to a video chat. He can see your face and tell you what he needs to tell you with a safe physical distance between you. And you can ask him to his face to explain the hugely important lie he told you. You can insist that he provide verifying details that will enable you to do your own broader background check. Full name, date of birth, address, workplace, claimed employer in Japan and lots more. If you don't like what you hear, you can block him. And m

2. I don't know where you are located, but if you are in the US, you can use those details to do a court system check and other checks to find out if he is divorced, if he claims to be. Also if he has been sued for not paying his bills, arrested and charged, etc.

3. If you decide to meet him, bring a friend along and meet him in a public place with others around.

There are lots of other things as well. But just remember, if you get involved with a guy who claims he is single, but is married, and you marry him, the new marriage will be void. The house you buy may be subject to claims of his first wife, and you may find that you have as big part of your relationship complications with his wife, kids, etc.

The biggest red flag is the blatant dishonesty and I agree with others here that even if this guy was perfect and truthful, this is going way, way too fast.

mellie · 26-30, F

@PowerofStories we met. 7 years ago. But he was dating someone else at that time. I know everything about his life except the mariage kids japan detail…