Upset
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If a friend cancels a lunch and drinks plan because they suddenly have a Tinder date, how will you feel

I had this experience with a friend and frankly I feel taken for granted. I told the person he can re-schedule the Tinder date but instead they cancel our lunch plan which we had planned 2-3 weeks ahead
iamnikki · 31-35, F
I hate when people do that.
I try my best not to cancel on people.
If I do cancel, I will certainly ask them when they are available next and do it then.

I also can't stand when people cancel plans, and offer no suggestions or make no attempts to reschedule.
It's shows lack of interest and complete disregard for other people.

I've been chatting with a new acquaintance for a few weeks. I had invited her to hang out once. She couldn't make it. Didn't try to make any suggestions.
We kept exchanging messages, then I hadn't heard from her for a full 7 days.

She claims being busy at work.
Last time I checked, people clicked out for work and/or got breaks every single day.

In my opinion, you don't make an acquaintance into a friend by ignoring their message for a week.
I'm not gonna talk to her anymore

🤷🏾‍♀️
Elisbch · M
@iamnikki ... It's too bad but I agree.
CestManan · 46-50, F
@iamnikki Sometimes trying to be social feels like a chore. It has nothing to do with anyone else except the person who has a hard time keeping up their end of the exchange.

Even though it can feel personal, we cannot take it that way.
Sapio · 51-55, M
Sounds like a booty call takes precedence over a friendship. It should be the other way around.
mksworld · 46-50, C
Good luck with your Tinder sex hookup date. People who get those are more elite than the rest of us, Unless it's during Festivus (because that's for the rest of us).
JimboSaturn · 51-55, M
Sometimes people lose their courtesy when they start thinking with their gonads!
CestManan · 46-50, F
HAS she not learned, "Chicks before d*cks"?

But yeah it is aggravating to be looking forward to something fun then someone decides something "more important" came up. It is disrespectful of your time.

Poetic justice (and instant karma) would be if that guy (or maybe woman?) stood up your friend.
solitaire · 41-45, F
@CestManan Guy friend. I told him even if his date gets cancelled I won't be meeting him 😆. He told me in case his date gets cancelled he will inform me - like I'm supposed to be sitting around waiting. Even if I have absolutely nothing to do I'd rather be at peace than be taken for granted
NinaCherry · 26-30, F
@CestManan yeah chicks come before D even in a dictionary
CestManan · 46-50, F
@solitaire Well, you could also ask if you can come along. He could Mr. Cool, being seen with two ladies, AND you could get a free dinner.

He told me in case his date gets cancelled he will inform me
You have to stand in awe over his nerve. JFC 😡


@NinaCherry It certainly does. Ya know and it is like, is some "potential one nighter" really worth putting a strain on an established friendship.

Men kick friendship around like a football and it never breaks but with women, friendships need to be treated with a bit more care.

I am sure one of that guy's bros would be like, "Alright man, get ya some! Catch ya on the flipside" but women are typically not as indifferent in such situations.
Sounds like they're not invested in the friendship indeed...
Elisbch · M
Agree with you. However, it would only happen that one time and they would know how I feel about it. Depending on their answer , I may make one permanent decision regarding them.
solitaire · 41-45, F
@Elisbch I've already made my decision. Not meeting this person again
SingleBHM · 56-60, M
In your place, I will go to a place where there are many people, like a social club.

Perhaps, you will meet another person worthy of your love and trust right there.
Jenny1234 · 51-55, F
sure I’d be disappointed but I suppose I can understand why she would be so excited to go out with some tinder date I guess.

I think if she did it a couple of times I would say something to her about it, but am the type of person who just likes everyone to be happy and I don’t take too much personally so if she wants to reschedule then by all means, let’s do it
JimboSaturn · 51-55, M
@Jenny1234 You're a team player! :P
Jenny1234 · 51-55, F
@JimboSaturn well, I just figure that something that makes her happy and friendship shouldn’t be all about what makes me happy. I think when friendships get too testy they’re not fun anymore so I like to keep them easy if that makes sense
JimboSaturn · 51-55, M
@Jenny1234 I understand perfectly.
Starcrossed · 41-45, F
Disappointed and questioning what that "friend" really thought of me, it wouldn't be much.
solitaire · 41-45, F
@Starcrossed Yep. I have expressed my disappointment and I don't think I'm keen on meeting this so-called friend again.
Then after the date they’d wish they gone out with the friend instead.
Elisbch · M
@Gingerbreadspice

I bet there's a really good chance of that feeling. 😌
Onasander · 41-45, M
If he has tinder dates all the time with women who come a dime a dozen, I'd be upset too. If he never dates and this is a miracle someone agreed to go out with him, you should be thankful and have him send you a selfie before he goes out to make sure he is dressing right, and ask him where he is taking her to make sure it's a good place.
solitaire · 41-45, F
I'm from India. This guy is going to have an arranged marriage for sure - I know our social setup and culture (he's a mommy's boy, scared of his grandma as well 😆). So even if he is going on a date I've no idea what he has in mind. But since this lunch and drinks plan was initiated by him and we fixed it for Saturday without an aorta of doubt, I am pissed off. Anyway I told him even if his date cancels on him I won't be meeting him. Good luck to him.
pdockal · 56-60, M
dump them since they obviously dont value the friendship
deadgerbil · 22-25, F
I would feel annoyed
This message was deleted by its author.
I’d be annoyed.
Ceci13 · 51-55, F
They'd better get some lol 😂 I mean id recognize true character and be glad plus know not to waste any more of my time.
WillaKissing · 56-60
When I set plans with a friend, I keep them, and the Tinder Date can wait. That's all I can say about that.
LemonWorld · 36-40, F
I would act like i dont know them cause wtf
Nitedoc · 51-55, M
Yep. He's taking you for granted.
KnowOne · 46-50, M
Good riddance
CestManan · 46-50, F
So have you talked to your friend since this happened?
Did he get stood up?
solitaire · 41-45, F
@CestManan I did not speak to my friend after this happened. He has not contacted me either.
CestManan · 46-50, F
@solitaire I think he knows he messed up.
solitaire · 41-45, F
@CestManan Yeah maybe
LongHairedCougar · 51-55, F
Hahaha that's an interesting one.. but I know what it takes to get them a match so yeah be it.. come back later and pay for it
dale74 · M
Women's and go to any bar and pick up a guy to go have sex with it is not that easy for men.
CrazyMusicLover · 31-35
Like I'm picking morsels.
solitaire · 41-45, F
CrazyMusicLover · 31-35
@solitaire I don't have many friends and even those I see like twice a year, so I feel like "beggars can't be choosers". If I can't be priority even that one time in a year we agreed on meeting because of some Tinder date, then that would be pretty sad.
I think I'd be happy for my friend. My schedule is flexible.
Ferric67 · M
What kind of friend is this?
What sort of situation are they in?
dale74 · M
If he is just a friend you should understand
Bhs123 · 36-40, F
uncalled4 · 56-60, M
Cast aside.
Workerbee · 31-35, M
I’d feel some kinda way that’s rude
solitaire · 41-45, F
@Workerbee Yes I was upset and I did make it a point to express it. Rather than brush it off with a smile and keep pent up anger. I'm 41 - don't have much patience as I used to. Once a friend cancelled a plan because he had online exams and I was cool with that. But when I'm taken for granted and treated like an option - sorry

 
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