Sex Surrogates – Prostitution in Disguise?

So sorry I just found this post. Not sure why I didn't see it before, please forgive me :(

I don't think prostitution would fit because that is for the money only from one party and pleasure only for the other whereas what you describe is for education purposes. There seems to be a big difference, you think? :)

There is definitely a place for this, yes.

I mean what is it when a female receives artificial insemination? That is payment as well for a specific purpose.

Great Question as always Ms Steph!

I am familiar with some of this work, and am now dating someone who actually did some work related to this. Why make it illegal? Why do we shame sex, a natural act that is how we all got here? People should have the opportunity to learn skills, and if needed to also get some basic needs met, in my opinion...sadly, many [people in our culture end up with less than satisfactory sex or relationships because we shame and guilt so much of this and make it taboo or even illegal...the Puritans would be proud...

Never even heard of it but it sounds like a good excuse to make money out of sex as you say. Also to give opportunity for voyerism for one of the people. Arte these organisations private businesses in which case 100% cons or government sponsored, in which case I would suspect the resutlt of a "bung" to obtain public funding. There are enough people out there with real medical and psychological Icindlucing sex related) problems without this !!

@Stephie I don’t think it’s comparable to prostitution. I think if more information was available it could be a common form of therapy.

personally I thank God for the few darling pros who have gotten me through the last twenty years

I haven’t heard of this before but it sounds like it could help some people that struggle with sex.

My view is what consenting adults choose to do is should be between those people and no one else's business :)

Sex is a basic, normal, healthy part of life, and some people who may have trauma centered around sex need therapy in order to live a normal healthy life. Why shouldn't there be sex therapsists??? Seems like common sense to me.

I think there is a difference but I don't have any problems with prostitution.

If it works and helps, I'm fine with it.

Well, I am pretty unknowledgeable in this area, since I've never really heard about it. To me, it sounds kind of gross. It sure sounds like some type of prostitution.

That sounds pretty interesting! So if a guy has a sexual issue, like being nervous and not able to come, a sex surrogate could jerk him off and make him come in front of a sex therapist??

Nothing is free

I am ready. Maybe have a threesome

I think all Sex work should be legalized as long as it's consensual adults.

i think it should be legal.. Prostitution is a job doing labor like any ones else..

As a caveat, I'm not particularly against prostitution.

However, the merits of sexual therapy to overcome anxiety seems like it could be beneficial for those who seek to do so. Having a therapist included would be important though. Exposure therapy can help in some individuals but it can make it much worse in others, so having licensed experts to ensure that the process is beneficial rather than harmful for the individual seems like it would be very important.

I believe there is also room for educational purpose here. It's very hard to build sex as a skill when you are not having it. And sometimes being bad at sex can ruin otherwise great relationships in their infancy. Having a route to learn such skills in a safe, non-judgemental environment could be beneficial for people as well.

I’ve arrived rather belatedly at this post, @Stephie but would like to make a contribution nonetheless. The joky response would be that, many years ago, a group of friends and I went to a late night cinema screening, having spent the evening in the pub. One of the films showing was called “The Anatomy Of Love” – a piece of badly-dubbed Swedish porn purporting to show a sex therapist at work with a couple having it away in every conceivable position (and some inconceivable ones too! Indeed, at some point one of my female friends shrieked “Ooooh! It must be L-shaped!” Titters throughout the whole cinema! And all of this to a soundtrack of Ravel’s Bolero – a piece of music I used to love but can no longer listen to with a straight face….

The more measured response is to begin by declaring a personal interest: my late father was a Freudian-influenced Consultant Child Psychiatrist, so my sisters and I grew up surrounded by a wide range of textbooks, including the psychology of sex ones. My own degree was in Sociology with Social Psychology and Philosophy.

I hadn’t encountered Sexual Surrogacy until now but the concept has me quite fascinated. What I am struggling to get my head round though is how a person who already has issues about sex could perform with a surrogate therapist - under the close professional scrutiny of a “talk therapist”…..

A coal miner utilises his body to earn a living, as does a prostitute. The only difference is society's moral reaction to those two trades. Prostitution is often performed by desperate people who are exploited because they are vulnerable. However, some enjoy sex, are intelligent and informed and have decided to make a living from their bodies. I don't see any issue with that. Sex surrogacy is a new thing to me, I wasn't aware of it. But if all parties are adult, healthy, and willing to engage of their own free will, without exploitative issues, then I don't see any harm. They're providing a service under a controlled environment to someone who needs it and is happy to pay.

Therapy in every form is good as it helps us to eork through whatever is not healthy for us. The right therapist can help us breakdown barriers (physical and mental) through communication and touching.

Proper mental health is important and celebrated. Im a believer in everyone needs to talk to a profession for a mental health tune-up every year or so . Thats acceptable and covered by insurance where I live.

Sex therapy is just as, if not more important for physical and mental health and should be seen as so without judgement. Imagine the adult that has some relationship trauma and they cant seem to function properly bc they cant get passed it? Or should they have the proper help so they can enjoy sex as they should? Maybe they need reassurance that only physical touch provides. And yes, it should be covered by insurance also.

Its a good topic, personally I wouldn't have any problem with it, will be willing to pay for it if it's in my budget or else I will keep out.

All, the participants in my view must be willing for the session and no one must be forced against their will. Its good for those who are shy towards expressing their sexuality or never had it. So that they open up and explore this frontier of their life.

I am already a proponent and a therapist offering and administering sex as a therapy. Sex by itself is a therapy and it was monogamy that became a unnatural restrictive practice imposed on humans, when sex should have been free.

There would have been no need for prostitution or people suffering from sex related psychological conditions. So when one door gets closed other doors start opening.

I saw a documentary on British TV on this subject. I felt that the female therapist was genuine, sensitive and over the course of a couple of months really helped the male client overcome all sorts of issues.

A lot of people seem to have no idea how (not) to approach sex respectfully or what do exactly when a woman goes along with their advances, so sex therapy should probably be done a lot more.

I think what sets this apart from prostitution is that it's therapeutic, meant to help with a condition, and not purely for lust.

I wish this type of therapy was real. Some people have to live very lonely lives

Interesting questions.

I don't think sex therapy or surrogacy fit into the general definition of prostitution, nor meet the reasons why prostitution is illegal in so many jurisdictions, and I would suspect prosecutorial discretion would have the police or prosecutors shrug their shoulders even if the legal definition for prostitution were narrowly defined as sex for money.

Laws against prostitution exist, in general, much like laws governing alcohol consumption and gambling. Uncontrolled, they can become public nuisances, exploitive, and threatening to social stability and order. In general, prostitution gets ignored by the police until complaints are filed, or there are other associated illegal behaviors that are a greater concern. Like prostitution gets attention in today's world because of human trafficking, predators, drugs, or because they invite criminal elements to cruise the streets late at night, making citizens feel threatened.

Therapy and surrogacy fit none of the above and there is no reason for the police or prosecutor to give it a second look, much like a church bingo game would unlikely be raided by the police in jurisdictions where gambling is illegal.

You mentioned, “licensed” sex therapist. So what’s the verifiable potential for improvement if there’s no way to test the outcome? Wouldn’t a surrogate be advisable in some instances?

The only real hurdle might be insurance coverage. 😂

First off I don't agree with the framing, that the practice of prostitution is some sort of illegal behaviour that must be frowned upon or banned. Sex is one of the most natural and normal pleasurable experiences of being human. Sex between consenting adults with or without money exchanged is perfectly okay in my books. The only part that the law has to do with it, is to ensure no one is being physically hurt or abused in the process. Just like any other crime.

So if you one want to seek assistance from a therapist that involves a sexual surrogate nothing wrong with that at all. Call it prostitution call it therapy who cares, no conflict at all, unless you subscribe to some narrow minded outdated way of thinking to the situation. Usually occurs by over religious zealots practicing their ancient dumb ass belief systems.

Personally can't imagine what healing someone would get out of a sexual surrogate, besides some pleasure. Similar to a great massage. Feels great in the moment, but hardly any lasting effects.

Well. I see it in a grey area. Maybe it is but but does it do more good than harm? I think it's a good idea in some cases. Laws can be changed as society evolves.

I guess for some it is needed, but if I had to guess those people who say they need this can’t get laid in the first place.

I have been doing that for years for free for ladies. No therapist watching , just usually their hubbies. It's amazing how quick they come out of their shells and let go.

Far to many big words and intelligent people on here making points so I'm not going to bother , great reading al the same 👀

The nuances of these things are that there probably is not a correct answer to this; things are definitional and dynamic. Im not against prostitution, sex work is work to me (in all the worst ways, of course). Obviously there are some differences between ordinary and traditional prostitution and that of sex surrogacy, but the similarity in the process of paying / being paid for some kind of sexual service remains.

Will my insurance cover the cost?
I am willing to pay the deductible.

Whatever works for all

Think you need some more in that definition. It's incomplete and totally misrepresentative.

There is sexual intimacy and there is the sexual act.

Would you consider anyone hugging another prostitution? Would you consider being having seen anyone and being comfortable with being nude, prostitution?

Then you're ALL guilty of prostitution.
The fact that there is money involved is nothing more than like going to a topless bar or strip club.

Would you have women wear burkas? 🤷🏻‍♂️

If it helps the client come to terms with their own sexuality and learn to control urges and desires and find out how to please their sexual partner then why not.

I think there should be licensed legal sex coaches

This kind of reminds me of a public discussion a few years ago when someone pointed out that using a suppository was against the sexual deviance laws under the sodomy part unless administered by a licensed physician.

There were suggestions that housecleaning was long overdue in laws relating to sex but no one in the state legislature wanted to talk about sex in open session, so they just tabled it.

It’s prostitution with a purpose!

some of us REALLY need this kind of help, we are completely clueless...not widely available and expensive im sure

Between consenting adults I’m ok with it

I see no problems with it.

If it helps its good, and I can imagine various situations where it would definitely help

Some people hire escorts just to talk. Some have sex and pour their heart out to the escort like in a therapy session. So maybe sex with the right person is a legit form of therapy. It's just fair to pay for session. Sexual surrogacy is even more organized, planned. I don't see it as prostitution.
Some man take care of all financial needs of the girlfriend. They have sex quite often. She may not even love him. If she is not a prostitute then sex surrogates are not either.

Rather have a nice cookie 🍪 dipped in milk 🥛 😌