Would I be a bad girlfriend if I went out alone?

I would say go out by yourself and meet new people. I’ve always been a promoter of solo travel (diff city/diff country even). The experience can make you discover more about yourself.

The fact that you realized that you need more in your life (socializing with friends and doing other fun activities aside from babysitting a 15-yr old), this tells you to rethink your future prospects with your bf.

You have to either accept this will be the life he can offer you should you decide to stay long term with him.

Or you can make an honest choice what kind of relationship you really want for yourself.

There would be nothing wrong with his family arrangements it that is what you want for yourself too.

Your happiness matters too, and it's really, really normal to wanna get out of the damn house from time to time. If I were you, I'd talk to him about going out alone in the least confrontational way possible. I find it really, really weird that he's not willing to leave his daughter alone at that age. Do you know why he's like that? If she doesn't have some kind of disability or behavioral problem, that kinda screams trauma to me.

Of course not! There are other ways he could be dealing with his daughter’s issues that would not involve him sitting on her, but he chooses not to so I feel like he either wouldn’t be much for going out anyway (in which case it’s disturbing if he uses her as an excuse) or he confuses kids coming first with kids being only, which just sounds like he can’t make room for a relationship in his life. I think it would tell you a lot to see how he reacts to you going out without him, but regardless of that reaction, there seems to be a fair amount to consider here going forward. There might be a lot of other stuff that makes him a keeper, but please don’t undervalue your happiness! You’ve fought awfully hard for it. 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

Be lucky he cares about his daughter, not coming home in a coffin or doing drugs

I'd go out if i was you .
Being around a person too much is very unhealthy , not saying that the both of ye are unhealthy.
Go out . The relationship gets stronger that way .
And then being on your own all the time is unhealthy too .
Go what you think .
You wouldn't be posting otherwise .
Us humans are doubters.
The reason why doubters .
The 1st thought comes in and then questions it and the lead to lot more thoughts in your mind then .
Then you be fighting with yourself then , if only this and only that

I think if you are that interested in going out, you should go out. That being said, it would also be nice to find new friends, (in a singles support group, for example), who are also interested in going out and having fun.

There's a website called Meetup.com where you can input your zip code, (if you live in the United States), and it will bring up clubs and groups of all kinds that go out together and do things together.

At 12 I was babysitting other kids.

Suggestion is........when your life suffers because you are expected to give up your life because you are part of someone else's life, so now he is all that matters..........that is NOT happiness. That is suffocation.

No matter how good it is to be in a relationship in your mind............how good is it when you give up all you like, all you enjoy, all you want to do to have your own life to be and do what makes YOU happy.............just to live as another person expects you too?

The thing is.........you are extremely smart. You knew everything I just said before I said it. In your mind you know a piece is missing in the "him and you" thing. The piece that is missing in that is the "you" piece. You are only there to live the live he chooses for you.

That..........is prison.

Hire a babysitter and then he’s free to go out with you. Or leave her with her grandparents if that’s an option. 🤔

Absolutely not. I can't even think of a reason why this would be bad.

I do worry about his daughter's future though.

Find a new boyfriend. I was babysitting the neighbors small children before I was 15. That’s an excuse, or he has real anxiety issues. I suppose if he lives in a high crime neighborhood he may feel it unsafe to leave her, but he’s getting what he wants off you, without giving you what you want ... to do things together as a couple.

You both need time to yourselves too. My mum was single and would go out with friends sometimes and would ask me if I minded and of course I never did. You should have a talk about going out together because if you're going to be together then your relationship is also a priority and having at least one night a week to spend time together is really important.

Well that sucks. All my mates are old, thats fine, but they cant walk far lol so im like oh
But i get ya.
Just do it. youll be fine. I usee to go for coffee on my own and always ended up talking to someone

Please be very safe if you do go out alone. 🤗

Taking some space for yourself is not a bad idea

Im unsure what exactly would fix that maybe take a class at a local college meet some singles proceed from there? Similarly do u have any single family members to potentially go out with it. Or f it just say ur going with friends and instead go stag . take the daughter to a concert or something.

So basically you just hang out with him at his house because he doesn’t trust his daughter to stay home alone for any length of time. Not a good situation.

She's 15. He needs to stop sheltering her and let her be independent. Is there anyway you can convince him to change his mind?

He's dedicated to his daughter as he should be. It's a tough decision - but you should make it. Would be best for you both...and his daughter.

No one wants a life of only staying in one place. If he wants you to understand he can't leave his daughter, he has to comprise that you will go out by yourself.

Absolutely not. You deserve alone time, and the right to live enjoyable moments. I know myself from being forced to stay at home for extended periods is terrible and far from healthy. Perhaps it's time for a more understanding bf as well. At 15, she's fully capable of taking care of her own self. Do what's right for YOU, my beautiful friend.💝

After seeing the comments, I came back to address this......
Is he going to molly coddle her from getting into trouble for the rest of his/her/your life?
It's pure insanity for him to think this way now, so what about the future?💡

Reverse the situation. You have a 15 year old and he wants to go out alone and meet new people. How would you feel?

Put something sexy on. Tell him he is going to take u out for a few hours or he is sleeping alone

Take your time in seeing the world, sweetie...there's a lot of it out there!

But try coaxing that BF of yours out...

😘

Won't leave his 15 year old daughter alone for an evening? Does she have special needs or something?

Girls night out with married friends now and then ??

You have tried talking to your bf about this .. right ??

No you are not bad. If your BF wants to go out with you he should get a sitter.

I dont think so. You should go out. Have fun

[b]Fact is, when you got together with him you accepted the whole package, accept it.
[/b]

Yes I do , meet me at the pub about half past 8 this evening 🤭

New boyfriend

Also make new single friends

Venture off and discover who else is out there.

I’d say you’re due a night out alone :) Have fun

Any reason why he doesn't trust her?

Divorce 😤

You could go out as a family OR you can go out alone. I don't get why that would be a problem.

He clearly has his reasons for not wanting to leave his daughter so it would be unfair to pressure him to do that. Even when your kids are teenagers they should still be the priority.

Dads being over possessive of his daughter even if she has undergone a bad incident this don't heal her need to open up face the world live your life and let the girl get her balance back ..try if he changes which I doubt ..u should seek other people to be in your life then

Try to make new friend to hang out 😊😇😉

Dear goodness, if he cant leave her alone for a few hours , something is wrong .
Being a dutiful parent is one thing , being over protective is another.

And if he cant leave a 15 year old for only an hour or two at that age, hell be doing the same thing when she's 18 .

This isnt healthy, emotinally , for anyone.
Seems you have ti find your own solution, as you can't expect people to change.

No you wouldn't

I think… in a healthy relationship it’s OK to go out by yourself to do things. In such a situation as you described you guys have to get creative with the problem-solving so that everyone’s Comfort zones and needs are respected.

Normally I would think he would want you to make friends and have a good time going out sometimes.
If he doesn't then that's a bit of a red flag.

Nope, there should be no issue with going out by yourself, as long as you aren't hooking up with someone without your partners permission.

Live for yourself.Nobody will remember the sacrifices you made .But if you're happy , they're happy too.

Do something for yourself. No need to live by others’ constraints all the time.

Idea #1 get a new boyfriend. You're going to always be #2 with this one

Go enjoy yourself just don't let anyone flirt with you.

Don't be a shut-in. Get out and enjoy meeting people.