Cringiest pickup lines you've ever heard

Nothing ventured, nothing gained

Once I was in the supermarket bending to pick a bunch of asparagus from the lower shelf, when a man behind me said ''It's so rare.''

I turned round: ''What is ?''

''To find a pretty bottom and a pretty face belonging to the same person.''

I had just come from the stables, been riding that hot afternoon, hair scruffy and wind-blown from the ride. Hardly looking my best !
Must have been my riding breeches which caught his eye.

I observed him: late fifties perhaps, quite attractive, expensive shirt, quality shoes, smiling face, especially smiling eyes, but I noted a wedding ring, so I countered:

''Does your wife know you approach younger women in shops ?"

''Sadly my wife died a few years ago, but you have every right to confront me.''

Of course, I started to apologise for the aggression of my response;

''No, I deserved it !'' His smile was engaging.
He gave me his card - an old-fashioned courtesy - so that told me his name, address and telephone number - and he invited me to lunch at a place of my choosing, on a date of my choosing.

We did have lunch together in the following week.

We remain good friends.

About two people ahead of me in the till queue at the Co-op one day, was the attractive daughter of our local newsagents.

The assistant behind the till was a lad of about her late-teens age.

As she was paying I heard this:

Him: "How's your boyfriend?"

Her, slightly flustered by this unexpected question: "I don't have a boyfriend!"

Him: "I'm going to a party tonight. Like to come with me?"

She declined, politely.

When I reached the till, still smiling at that overheard exchange, I said, "I like your style!"

Are you tired? Cuz Baby you been running through my mind all day.

My face will be leaving in quarter of an hour and I'd like you to be on it.

I used to collect them. Like, off the internet. Some of the favorites that I've read:

"If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together."
"Are your legs tired? Because you've been running through my thoughts all day."
"Babe, are those space pants you're wearing? Because your butt is out of this world."
"That is a beautiful dress you're wearing. It'll look great crumpled in a corner of my room."

I can't remember any others off the top of my head.

Get your coat love, you've pulled.

Who's gonna go down on someone who doesn't wanna watch the sunset with them? 🤯

If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?

Those pants made out of glass because I can see myself throwing a brick and shattering them into a million pieces? Or however it goes.

nice legs what time do they open?