Cringiest pickup lines you've ever heard
"Baby, I don't like watching sunsets, but I'd love to see you go down."
61-69, M
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emmasfriend · 46-50, F
Nothing ventured, nothing gained
Once I was in the supermarket bending to pick a bunch of asparagus from the lower shelf, when a man behind me said ''It's so rare.''
I turned round: ''What is ?''
''To find a pretty bottom and a pretty face belonging to the same person.''
I had just come from the stables, been riding that hot afternoon, hair scruffy and wind-blown from the ride. Hardly looking my best !
Must have been my riding breeches which caught his eye.
I observed him: late fifties perhaps, quite attractive, expensive shirt, quality shoes, smiling face, especially smiling eyes, but I noted a wedding ring, so I countered:
''Does your wife know you approach younger women in shops ?"
''Sadly my wife died a few years ago, but you have every right to confront me.''
Of course, I started to apologise for the aggression of my response;
''No, I deserved it !'' His smile was engaging.
He gave me his card - an old-fashioned courtesy - so that told me his name, address and telephone number - and he invited me to lunch at a place of my choosing, on a date of my choosing.
We did have lunch together in the following week.
We remain good friends.
Once I was in the supermarket bending to pick a bunch of asparagus from the lower shelf, when a man behind me said ''It's so rare.''
I turned round: ''What is ?''
''To find a pretty bottom and a pretty face belonging to the same person.''
I had just come from the stables, been riding that hot afternoon, hair scruffy and wind-blown from the ride. Hardly looking my best !
Must have been my riding breeches which caught his eye.
I observed him: late fifties perhaps, quite attractive, expensive shirt, quality shoes, smiling face, especially smiling eyes, but I noted a wedding ring, so I countered:
''Does your wife know you approach younger women in shops ?"
''Sadly my wife died a few years ago, but you have every right to confront me.''
Of course, I started to apologise for the aggression of my response;
''No, I deserved it !'' His smile was engaging.
He gave me his card - an old-fashioned courtesy - so that told me his name, address and telephone number - and he invited me to lunch at a place of my choosing, on a date of my choosing.
We did have lunch together in the following week.
We remain good friends.
GeniUs · 56-60, M
@emmasfriend Reminds me of the time I was in the supermarket and every time I tried to reach for something this woman got in the way, she wasn't doing it on purpose. Eventually she realised what was going on and apologised and I said I hadn't known whether to just try and reach around; she laughed and looked mischievous, I think I looked puzzled. I recounted the story to a guy at work and he said, "so you offered to give a stranger a reach around in the supermarket."
Oh.
Oh.
StygianKohlrabi · 46-50, M
@emmasfriend did you find out he was lying?
emmasfriend · 46-50, F
@StygianKohlrabi
He was not lying - my face and my bottom are beautiful !
He was a widower, lived in a huge Georgian Rectory in the next village.
A wealthy stockbroker who had taken early retirement after a merger of companies.
Charming and generous host.
We remain good friends.
He was not lying - my face and my bottom are beautiful !
He was a widower, lived in a huge Georgian Rectory in the next village.
A wealthy stockbroker who had taken early retirement after a merger of companies.
Charming and generous host.
We remain good friends.
StygianKohlrabi · 46-50, M
@emmasfriend I'm sure. 👀no I meant about his marital status
