If someone were to own up to their bad behavior that hurt you, would it help you put the past behind and move on?

My ex-wife eventually decided to go through therapy.
Part of which involved explaining to those they'd treated badly why they did what they did.

She wrote to me three times asking if I'd be willing to attend a meeting with her Therapist to go through this process.

I took my time making the decision because to be honest, I want nothing to do with her.
I could see it might benefit her, but saw nothing of worth in it for me.

Eventually I agreed to a meeting with her Therapist present.
I listened to everything she wanted to say.
Listened to the Therapist's interjections. But said nothing.
It was just a long litany of excuses for her behaviour at the time and proved she took no responsibility for how her actions affected those around her at the time.

I think she said the word sorry twice in half an hour of explanation.

Once she'd finished the Therapist asked me if I understood how difficult this process was for her.
..wasn't sure if I wanted to slap her or storm out !
I said I'm wondering if she's been entirely honest with you about what she actually did.
Because no amount of apologising would make me feel better about it.
And then I left.

I learned long ago to move forward without needing an apology from anyone who either knowingly or unknowingly crippled me along my journey. I also learned that oftentimes an apology only comes as a way to make themselves feel better about the hurt they caused. But I’m usually cordial after the dust settles anyway because that’s how I choose to move in life. Things are never the same again though. Ever. The apology matters very little to me in the whole scheme of things.

If there was real remorse, I would appreciate it because I can say someone owning it and not caring how much it hurt and someone not acknowledging it at all both definitely feel worse, but it wouldn’t influence how quickly I got past it and it wouldn’t automatically wipe the slate clean as only time proves the behavior doesn’t repeat. The most it would do is allow me to give them that time as opposed to simply shutting my heart to them irrevocably.

Depends on the history .. one off thing or a pattern? Apology come across sincere or lame? Actions going forward avoid a repeat?

I'm walking away from someone who knowingly repeated actions, ducked any resemblence of responsibility or a sincere apology. I stayed for my kids .. mistake or not, they are grown and on their own. I'll never put myself in that kind of position again.

I'd move on, but it doesn't mean I need to move on with them in my life. I don't owe them that in the slightest and if their sentiment is genuine they will be understanding of this.

Owning up is a good thing and I'd appreciate it, but don't need it. I also need their apology to be as loud as their disrespect was tbh. 🤷🏾 They need to keep that same energy.

I would accept if someone is remorseful and sincere about it.

Not through text but face to face.
That way you can see their body language.

It also depends on the extent of hurt.

Most of them never try and just appear again and try talking to you like nothing happened.
I probably would accept their apology, but I'd be extremely cautious and not too eager to get close to them again.

That would depend on whether or not they were sincere. I've experienced both scenarios

Only you know how much it hurt. Given the little I know, my advise would be avoidance at all cost. I’d even try to expunge pleasant thoughts.

It depends who it is and what had happened but I'd probably give them one chance to prove their intentions are genuine.

Only if it was done with a sincere and full apology and a deliberate and meaningful change. Trust has to be rebuilt and that depends on the offender actually doing the work to rebuild it.

Otherwise it is a crappy applogy with the hopes you will simply accept hollow words.

It helps

People don’t change, maybe mask up for awhile. But not change.

id be shocked at their moment of clarity.. but that bridge has been burned..

i wish them well :)

That would depend on how many times he exhibited bad behaviour before.

This makes me think of my second ex. I would run like hell.