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I Am Depressed

I am in a relationship with someone who constantly moan about being depressed, anxiety attacks and wanting to commit suicide.

I gathered from frequent stories I've read on this site, it's always the depressed one screaming out for help. Let me unequivocally share some experience and shed some light on what it's like being in a relationship with someone who is always negative and depressed.

I've tried being sympathetic, tried seeking professional help, tried the endless nights consoling him, tried the never ending guarding incase he commit suicide. Every conversation will always end up being about him. I have tried and tried and now reach the critical point of "IM F**KING TIRED."

I make excuses to remain in the office longer, any odd pretexts to be away from the cloud of darkness looming and surrounding what we once crave to be in. Our home has become an unwelcome and undesirable place. It was my comfort zone, my place of solace, my haven and castle. Everything has evaporated, the toxicity is lingering in the air poisoning the relationship, and I am beginning to despise and hate him. His voice and everything about him irritates me.

My friends has notice the cloud of gloom that follows me. When they try to take me out, he makes excuses he is sick or he would ring me over and over until I answer. When I do answer, he would instantly make me feel horrible so I don't enjoy myself.

Anyone in a relationship similar to what I have explained above, once you see these signs. Get out while you can.
SerenitiesScars · 36-40, M
They don't sound depressed... They sound like an emotional person who enjoys drama...

I suffer from depression but it doesn't mean you speak like that all the time. Yeah negatives happen. But depressed people TRY to find a LIGHT... Even if they don't see it.. They talk about hopeful things and what could make their life better with all the what if's and if only's...

:/ And usually depressed people throw everything on themselves rather than on other people... Idk, sounds like you have a user on your hands and not someone who's actually depressed...
@SerenitiesScars
Thank you so much for that great insight.
wakanda4eva · 26-30, F
@SerenitiesScars i wouldnt classify ALL people with depression like that. Different people experience depession differently, some may have tried to see the light but the darkness keeps lingering and overwhelming until it takes full control of its host. Toxic person to be with tho if you tried ur best and still nothing changes, best to cut ties before it infects you.
wakanda4eva · 26-30, F
@SerenitiesScars Tbh what you describe as someone that acts out constantly like pretending like they want to kill themself or emotionally drain others to create drama IS a mental illness, probably narcassism cos they constantly crave more attention maybe cos they grow up spoiled by their parents or was constantly neglected before
Lovelyelaine101 · 22-25, F
@Lovelyelaine101
Definitely will.
SW-User
Sounds toxic...
@SW-User
It's a puddle of radiation.
SW-User
I can understand someone having depression issues but I can't understand them having them while in a good relationship. To me that's a reason to be constantly happy but I guess there's a lot more to it than I understand. At some point you need to put your own health first so I hope you are able to.
samueltyler2 · 80-89, M
@SW-User depression can be caused by an imbalance of neurological transmitters, a good relationships help, but neither prevent or cure it.
JaggedLittlePill · 46-50, F
@SW-User Their depression has zippo to do with the realtionship.

Depression happens even when the world around seems normal and happy. Because...it is not a choice.

If you are happy with friends you are putting on a facade or not depressed at all.

I am frankly shocked at the people who gave the advice to leave.

Depression is a mental illness ..a disease. If your partner had...alzheimers..would the answer be to leave? Same difference.
SW-User
@JaggedLittlePill My dad was being treated for Alzheimers for about 5 years until he died the day before yesterday. His funeral is tomorrow. Nobody left him but there comes a point if someone is unable to have their health issues improved at home and worse... if their issues are risking the health of themselves or others around them then either they or you have to seek professional help for them. It's not about leaving them but it's about saving both them and yourself. It's a very difficult thing when a family member or partner get to this point, but it's not something that should be ignored but you can't just let things go on the way they are. My dad thought he was fine but slowly we got him help even though he fought it all the way.
Abstraction · 61-69, M
I'm reading a lot of opinions in response to your post, particularly from people who have little idea what they are talking about.

I had fifteen years of chronic depression. I am intelligent, capable, resilient, had been a counsellor... but I was reduced to something that was almost impossible to live with at times, and there was nothing I could do. I found my way out in the end - and haven't been depressed for ten years.

But I totally sympathise with your position. I don't have any answers, sorry. It's just hard.
Ladyryan · 51-55, F
Feels horrible, but I hope you find your way out.
@Ladyryan
It's not an ideal relationship for anyone to be in.
samueltyler2 · 80-89, M
@Random1Thoughts what drives you to stay in it.
@samueltyler2
Pity and thinking I could help.
May I ask; what's the attraction to this relationship? What are you getting out of it, and why are you still there?
@PhoenixPhail
No, I am fed up and have started to process of ending this relationship.
@Random1Thoughts Good for you! I would like to hear how it progresses. 👍
@PhoenixPhail will do.
Cannabro · 36-40, M
Maybe he should try smoking some cannabis helps with the depression if he smokes it while watching some comedy on tv or something fun/funny. It helped me back then but the problem is he must keep taking it or else he will relapse
@Cannabro
Thank you for the suggestion, will pass it on to him.
Cannabro · 36-40, M
@Random1Thoughts also make sure he is in a safe environment because paranoia and anxiety sets in if he worries he will get busted you know? It's a total mood killer and it gets amplified by the cannabis. So surround him with supporters of the cannabis only so he can enjoy it. Good Luck
@Cannabro
I was thinking about that too, I'm sure his friends will watch over him.
Tatsumi · 31-35, M
Are you two still together? Out of curiosity, how did he attract you, in the first place?
@Tatsumi
No, we've split up over a month. I will be completely honest, he was handsome, good job and came from a good home. But his looks is what drew me in to him.
Tatsumi · 31-35, M
@Random1Thoughts Ah, okay. I bet you're glad to be freed from that prison.
@Tatsumi
It was suffocating, if you see the sign I explained in the story, please leave. Nobody should have to go through that.
Is he doing anything to improve his situation?

Going to the doctor? Counseling?

At some point you have to do what is right for you
some people dont want help they just want the attention
Selah ·
Why do you stay?
@Selah
I loved him and wanted to help. I've learnt from this experience.
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CZarr · 61-69, M
Yes, you should get out of that situation. It’s not something everyone can deal with. I was lucky that my late husband was willing to try. I still felt guilty and kept a lot to myself.
@bijouxbroussard
I've tried for two years. I don't think it will ever change.
@Random1Thoughts It doesn’t sound like he’s trying to get help for himself, either, unfortunately.
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