I Battle Depression and Anxiety

i'm in my depressive phase in my bipolar disorder already. please someone get me out of this vicious cycle of a disorder. i feel so hopeless about everything. i can't stop crying over everything. i can't sleep either because i feel so... broken. my therapist doesn't understand me. my psychiatrist keeps recommending a different bunch of meds that zombify me more and more. i can't concentrate on anything. how long will this go on? i'm starting to lose hope again.

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DanielChristensen · 46-50, M

I also have bipolar depression. It is an awful roller coaster. I was on meds for 18 months and really loathed the side effects. I hated that grey muddle they leave you in. As an artist, it was unacceptable. I need my emotions to write.

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SW-User

@DanielChristensen I have it too, and it's exactly the same, I hate this fucking disease

SW-User

@SW-User It took me years just to admit that I had it. It runs very strongly in my family, and I always thought it was normal. I mean, who doesn't randomly decide to tear up all of the carpet in the house one day and then cry for a week?

SW-User

@SW-User I thought everyone was the same way too, but that they somehow managed to cope with it better. I didn't know what "bipolar" was, and I didn't recognize myself in the dried-out, jargon-filled DSM description. My family doesn't talk about anything so I didn't know that my grandmother had it. I wasn't diagnosed until I was 35 after a suicide attempt. To be honest, I was relieved that it finally had a name, and I was blown away by other people's firsthand accounts. It was like they were talking about my life, and all these things that I never thought to connect together finally made sense. I kind of had a double standard, too: it's not crazy when I do it. I didn't realize just how messed up some of the things I had been thinking and doing really were until I saw it written out by someone else.

mynameisray · 26-30, M

I’ve had very close family and friends go through some tough times with mental health. Some whom I’ve lost. Some who’ve gotten better. I myself battle with the struggle of emotional health every day but I don’t let myself fall into the trap of having a breakdown.

I think of myself like a vase. Once a vase breaks, no matter how much glue you use to put it back together it’ll never be as sturdy as it once was. In the same way, the mind will never be the same.

You need to find an outlet for the emotions you have for me it’s been. For me its being a workaholic- keeping busy keeps my mind focused on other things. Everyone now and then I’ll have a miniature blip and cry myself to sleep but everyday is a chance to make it better.

Get through an hour at a time. Get through a day at a day. Prove yourself right, there’s no point in dwelling on things.

dilvin · F

@mynameisray That's actually really good advice. Im trying to find some outlet or anything cathartic really.

mynameisray · 26-30, M

@dilvin oh and how can I forget. Get onto Spotify, find a damn good feelin’ playlist and just dance like an idiot to all those beats. I myself quite enjoy music from the 80’s and 90’s - there’s a lot more soul. (I don’t dance but maybe bob your head a little?)

SW-User

Have you tried Lamotrigine yet?

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SW-User

@dilvin I am also bi-polar and have struggled to control it for many years, so I have tried just about everything out there. I understand what it's like.

SW-User

@SW-User I use lamotrigine for mine and it's AWESOME, it works for my depression in a way that antidepressants never did and as you say, doesn't leave you feeling all messed up.

SW-User

@SW-User Agreed. My life has definitely changed for the better since my doctor put me on it. I am so glad that it has helped you so much too!

SW-User

First, of course seek professional help. If you're already actively pursuing that, perhaps it's time to also recognize something most docs wont tell you. Your gut, is where most of your happy stuff is produced.
Try a regular intake of probiotics .. it's not a cure, or an instant relief,
but it can help in the medium to long term :)

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dilvin · F

@SW-User thanks you're very kind :)

SW-User

@dilvin anytime ✌ .. if you feel like just venting, my inbox is also open although i'm not here all the time, but i do reply when i can :)

dilvin · F

@SW-User Hey same here, I'm a pretty good listener if you ever need someone :)

AlphaPuppy · 26-30, M

I have issues with depression and severe mood swings (although mine are more related to bpd than bipolar) I know its little consolation but im here if you need a cuddle and someone to hold you and make you feel safe and protected

2brandon2 · 18-21, M

I do t know what to tell you. I'm sorry this happens. I have been having anxiety and depression too. I just keep going one day at a time and find projects to keep busy on. I'm just a kid who wants his own life back

Spokeskitties75 · 46-50, M

Here... watch my video... it probably has nothing to do with anything you enjoy, but it's a distraction for a half hour...

[media=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3Z9IVos7Rc]

SW-User

I wish i could help but I'm not much better off..

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