Struggles & Identity

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Did I fail?

Went drs today and cried because I feel so lost and alone right now so they have put me back on antidepressants which I am not happy about but I know that I cannot keep my head above the water right now.

I have BPD, bipolar, anxiety disorder and they now think I have fibromyalgia but since losing my dad over a year ago it’s taken me down into the darkness and I cannot get myself out right now.

I personally feel like I failed everyone around me because I have done so well with staying above the water but I just can’t stay there.

I have lost to much in the last year and feel so alone in my battle to stay alive, it’s horrible feeling so lost and no one really understanding you.

I guess all I can do is that this medication and find myself again!

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OlderSometimesWiser · F

It pains me that mental health is still so stigmatized that people think they’re failures because they need medication for an actual illness! But would never think twice about taking medication for heart disease, diabetes, cancer, etc.

I truly hope that perceptions will change and you will thrive with the antidepressants, oftentimes life saving medication. There is absolutely no shame in needing it.

Spiritualangel777

@OlderSometimesWiser yes you’re so right I think my failure comes from wanting to be a better person. A better mum, a better friend and wife and I have done so well without medication but I am willing to take it to find me again!

OlderSometimesWiser · F

@Spiritualangel777 You’ve taken a very important first step and I have every confidence that you will succeed! 🙂

smiler2012 · 61-69

@Spiritualangel777 🤔failed far from it sometimes things in this world can get too much . when that happens and you can no longer cope there is nothing wrong in that asking for help . there is no stigma attached because of this you are of many who sadly are in the same boat and if tablets help so bit it there is no shame in that

Spiritualangel777

@smiler2012 thank you 🙏🏻

Gangstress · 41-45, F

Have you been keeping the negative away?
Im so sorry hun. Please keep meditating etc.
I know atm the universe is trying us all in different ways. We have to fight the dark as hard as it is. Im trying my best not to let it succumb me.
You know im here if ya ever need a chat hun x this will pass

Spiritualangel777

@Gangstress I have got rid of negativity and been meditating but I just can’t keep myself balanced right now i been struggling so much and now I know I need a little help to just get myself back to how I was.. I cried in my sons arms today and said I’m sorry because I want to be a good mum but I don’t feel like a good person atm it’s awful losing my dad was a big trigger and I know I need therapy to deal with that!! I am always here if you need to talk as well never want anyone to feel like they are alone x

Gangstress · 41-45, F

@Spiritualangel777 but you are a good person and i imagine an execllent mum too
Youre going through a lot and ask if you can be kind to yourself x
I hope youre taking steps to talk about your grief to hun x

Spiritualangel777

@Gangstress I have asked for counselling for my grief but they Havant sorted anything but when I see the mental health team I’m going to ask again!! Thank you my youngest boy hugged me today told me stop beating myself up my boys are amazing I am truly blessed! Xx

JoyfulSilence · 46-50, M

You are ill, and none of it is your fault.

A medical doctor prescribed you medications, to regulate chemicals in your brain. This means there is some chemical imbalance. You have no control over that.

Yes, behavioral modification can always help, but do not be too hard on yourself. We all have down times.

Think of it this way: if you caught a purely physical disease (that could not have been prevented by your earlier choices), would you feel guilty? If somebody rear ended you while driving, would you feel guilty? If a meteor struck your house, would you think it was the house's fault?

It is not your fault.

I hope you get the treatment you need.

Spiritualangel777

@JoyfulSilence thank you and yes you are so right I took the steps to get myself balanced that’s the main thing I have to get better I want my life back!!

SStarfish ·

Feel better soon but don't feel bad about feeling bad.. it just happens sometimes life can be sad.. we are entitled to some sadness

Spiritualangel777

@SStarfish thank you hun x

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Spiritualangel777

@SomeMichGuy thank you 🙏🏻

SomeMichGuy · M

@Spiritualangel777 You are more than welcome for my few words

Montanaman · M

Listen
.if it gets worse, before it gets better, I mean where you just might do the unthinkable, please reach out to someone. Anyone. But don't lose that fight
🤗🤗🙏♥😇

Spiritualangel777

@Montanaman today my minds quiet and I feel calm which is good! 😊

LILY61

i suffer from severe depression from the life that was given me. i can't take medicine because i turn into a test pattern

is yours from life or from birth?

View 1 more replies »

LILY61

@Spiritualangel777 mine too. my life doesn't sound real when i try to write it down. maybe you should do that...write your life story. Patty Duke said it was very helpful to her mentally.

Spiritualangel777

@LILY61 yeah I actually do that a lot it does help me I like to manifest as well not been doing that much lately maybe why life when to shit lol

LILY61

@Spiritualangel777 sorry i can't really say much because i don't really know what to do. so how can i tell someone else

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