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Did I fail?

Went drs today and cried because I feel so lost and alone right now so they have put me back on antidepressants which I am not happy about but I know that I cannot keep my head above the water right now.

I have BPD, bipolar, anxiety disorder and they now think I have fibromyalgia but since losing my dad over a year ago it’s taken me down into the darkness and I cannot get myself out right now.

I personally feel like I failed everyone around me because I have done so well with staying above the water but I just can’t stay there.

I have lost to much in the last year and feel so alone in my battle to stay alive, it’s horrible feeling so lost and no one really understanding you.

I guess all I can do is that this medication and find myself again!
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It pains me that mental health is still so stigmatized that people think they’re failures because they need medication for an actual illness! But would never think twice about taking medication for heart disease, diabetes, cancer, etc.

I truly hope that perceptions will change and you will thrive with the antidepressants, oftentimes life saving medication. There is absolutely no shame in needing it.
@OlderSometimesWiser yes you’re so right I think my failure comes from wanting to be a better person. A better mum, a better friend and wife and I have done so well without medication but I am willing to take it to find me again!
@Spiritualangel777 You’ve taken a very important first step and I have every confidence that you will succeed! 🙂