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Did I fail?

Went drs today and cried because I feel so lost and alone right now so they have put me back on antidepressants which I am not happy about but I know that I cannot keep my head above the water right now.

I have BPD, bipolar, anxiety disorder and they now think I have fibromyalgia but since losing my dad over a year ago it’s taken me down into the darkness and I cannot get myself out right now.

I personally feel like I failed everyone around me because I have done so well with staying above the water but I just can’t stay there.

I have lost to much in the last year and feel so alone in my battle to stay alive, it’s horrible feeling so lost and no one really understanding you.

I guess all I can do is that this medication and find myself again!
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Gangstress · 41-45, F
Have you been keeping the negative away?
Im so sorry hun. Please keep meditating etc.
I know atm the universe is trying us all in different ways. We have to fight the dark as hard as it is. Im trying my best not to let it succumb me.
You know im here if ya ever need a chat hun x this will pass
@Gangstress I have got rid of negativity and been meditating but I just can’t keep myself balanced right now i been struggling so much and now I know I need a little help to just get myself back to how I was.. I cried in my sons arms today and said I’m sorry because I want to be a good mum but I don’t feel like a good person atm it’s awful losing my dad was a big trigger and I know I need therapy to deal with that!! I am always here if you need to talk as well never want anyone to feel like they are alone x
Gangstress · 41-45, F
@Spiritualangel777 but you are a good person and i imagine an execllent mum too
Youre going through a lot and ask if you can be kind to yourself x
I hope youre taking steps to talk about your grief to hun x
@Gangstress I have asked for counselling for my grief but they Havant sorted anything but when I see the mental health team I’m going to ask again!! Thank you my youngest boy hugged me today told me stop beating myself up my boys are amazing I am truly blessed! Xx