Did I fail?

Went drs today and cried because I feel so lost and alone right now so they have put me back on antidepressants which I am not happy about but I know that I cannot keep my head above the water right now.

I have BPD, bipolar, anxiety disorder and they now think I have fibromyalgia but since losing my dad over a year ago it’s taken me down into the darkness and I cannot get myself out right now.

I personally feel like I failed everyone around me because I have done so well with staying above the water but I just can’t stay there.

I have lost to much in the last year and feel so alone in my battle to stay alive, it’s horrible feeling so lost and no one really understanding you.

I guess all I can do is that this medication and find myself again!

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JoyfulSilence · 51-55, M

You are ill, and none of it is your fault.

A medical doctor prescribed you medications, to regulate chemicals in your brain. This means there is some chemical imbalance. You have no control over that.

Yes, behavioral modification can always help, but do not be too hard on yourself. We all have down times.

Think of it this way: if you caught a purely physical disease (that could not have been prevented by your earlier choices), would you feel guilty? If somebody rear ended you while driving, would you feel guilty? If a meteor struck your house, would you think it was the house's fault?

It is not your fault.

I hope you get the treatment you need.

Spiritualangel777

@JoyfulSilence thank you and yes you are so right I took the steps to get myself balanced that’s the main thing I have to get better I want my life back!!