Do you believe you can be inlove with a person and still cheat?

@NattybyNeter To me, "in love" is that stretch of time when the rest of the world grays out and the object of love is the sole other inhabitant of my world. That's clearly an exaggeration - I couldn't even drive! - but not by much.

"To love someone" means to me that the relationship has endured long enough for me not to be entirely daft, so I can function, but when it comes to a contest between the loved one and any would-be distractions, the loved one wins. Every time.

Can one of those silly temporary infatuations occur? Yes. But I never act on it. I love that person and to me that means I do not cause them harm.

It means the same for me. @Mamapolo2016

@NattybyNeter Monogamy infers fidelity. That is what love means to me. I would never cheat on someone that I love. And I would expect the same in return.

Right. I didn’t even respond because I thought the person was trolling. I could never and I believe in karma. @bijouxbroussard

@NattybyNeter I don’t know why the person felt the need to even comment on my reply, because I specified . That’s what makes it cheating.

Some people have "open" relationships where monogamy isn’t part of the deal, and both parties accept that.
So she could screw everyone in town, and she wouldn’t be cheating. But I still don’t think folks who choose to sneak around have any self respect.

The moment I started studying psychology and realized that people actions are a reflection of their own internal battles. I stop making a fuss. I hope I always have open eyes to never walk into anything like that. There’s no love in betrayal for me but others are allowed their own opinions. @bijouxbroussard

I have received the opposite answer so I was starting to either think u was an alien or I am surrounded def by damage people that’s completely unaware they are even damaged. They make it seem I am living a fairytale to even think otherwise. But then again with my countries culture majority don’t even believe there are men that don’t cheat. @PoetryNEmotion

@NattybyNeter You set your standards, no one else does. Do not be afraid to believe in what you think. Ever. Some men always cheat. I do not. I believe in fidelity.

Same. I honestly want to know how. What goes through their mind and emotions?@Starcrossed

@NattybyNeter well every relationship and every 'love' is unique, and we all evolve in how we define our experience of love. The love hormone oxytocin is produced with multiple partners for some people, and they may not view infidelity from a monogamous relationship as 'bad' or something to be shamed, especially if their 'main' partner is on board with polyamory.

Those are different things than what we are talking about. We are talking about two ppl in a monogamous relationship and one is going behind the others back and cheating, lying, risking their health. Then saying they are inlove with that person but they cheat. @Starcrossed

That’s not my version of inlove. That would be codependency mixed with obsession but each person is allowed to feel different. Also, I never mentioned polygamy. I am speaking on cheating @hartfire

@NattybyNeter I've only been in love once, was betrayed, and it hurt so much that I've never been in love since.
Having had so little experience at it, perhaps I'm not the best person to answer your question.

I've been with the same man since 1983. We were never in love, but we became best friends within the first 6 months of dating and have proved reasonably compatible.

So please tell me how you experience being in love.

@hartfire My version of in love has to do with me being physically and emotionally connected to someone. It’s an intense feeling of happiness when we are together, a feeling of safety. Me wanting the person to be happy even if I’m not included in that happiness. I want the best for them because they make me so happy by just being in my life. Of course I’m not a airhead so they would have obviously contributed positive attributes why I got to the inlove part. When I’m inlove yes I have eyes but I’m not attracted to anyone one else. At least not to the level of wanting to engage. It’s been a while but from what I can remember that’s how I feel when I’m inlove.

I don’t either @SW-User

Thanks for your honesty @exexec

@NattybyNeter Having romantic feelings, basically.

Just inlove has just to go with emotions not necessarily anything physical for you? @Ducky

@NattybyNeter yes, it can be like that.

@Tres13 Then the goal should be to find one that is not connected to a heart.

Easy buy one @Mamapolo2016

@Tres13 I'm not in the market, but yes.

I’ve heard this before. Still blows my mind. @SW-User

@NattybyNeter Think of it this way, could you as a woman have sex with someone you hate? I imagine the answer would be a no, because women need to like a guy in order to want to lay with him otherwise it feels wrong or disgusting even verging on non consensual.

Well men can do it no problem. We don't need to like or love you to F you. We just need you to be naked. Sex is different for men and women.

It’s very interesting that you’re also a Jamaican stating this. Given Jamaican male history with infidelity @SW-User

My sentiments but I’ve been told you can. @Onestarlitnight

Interesting. Can you tell me why when I’m inlove I have absolutely no nature to be physical with anyone else? I’m really asking @Eternity

That’s not the same type of love. And while all parents may love their child equally. The likening of each is very different. Ask any child with siblings. We always feel like mom or dad have a favorite or we are treated unequally, despite what the parent May say. Again love and inlove is very different. @hartfire

I am trying to understand so don’t view my replies as combative. What you just mentioned sounded more like loving someone to me than being inlove. My version of in love has to do with not just me being emotionally connected deeply with someone. It also has to do with me being physically connected. So that means I can’t physically take myself to that level of attraction to anyone else because of how inlove I am with my person. Also when I am inlove I can’t be selfish. I don’t make it that way: it’s just how my emotions work. I care about the perosn so much that I would never want to hurt them in anyway. Them being happy makes me happy. So how can I be selfish? @nonsensiclesnail

@NattybyNeter sounds like maybe you are emotionally healthy when it comes to love. Maybe you are not a selfish person. It may be that, for me, Ive never found anyone who truly loved me so I dont really know the difference. If someone ere, as you are, deeply emotional and physically connected, I dont know why there would be anyone cheering if the emotions and love are mutual.

I understand. Life can be challenging to navigate, especially with our emotions and people. @nonsensiclesnail

As in? @BigImo

@NattybyNeter I've been deeply in love with almost everyone I've dated, but that shouldn't stopped me fucking whoever I want whenever I want

@Spoiledbrat
I don´t think so.

Being in love is the name I give to the specific love between men and women.
A full and by itself meaningfull "kind" of complete love.
There are of course others, valid in their own domains.
Love for our kids, for family and friends and others each one of a certain nature.
They all have some common things that some if not most call Love.
If about woman and man that "wider" feeling is IMO and even if needed not enough to be love.
And if it being in love doesn't last forever, which may be resignation to what is not a must even if ussual, what doesn't last forever is love itself.

Or.......

May be you are right and I´m wrong.
But I hope it´s not the case.
If so and just IMO what is possible to keep for ever (again in the domain of human mating) wouldn´t be (for my view) worth keeping.
And (again in the domain of human mating) I would not call it Love.

Anything you would have to hide wether it’s getting sexually or emotionally involved with someone outside of your monogamous relationship @samueltyler2

I’m not sure what some people didn’t understand the question. Why mention polygamy. Cheating and polygamy is not the same. So you believe this person was in love with you but betrayed your trust and lied and sneak and put your health at risk by cheating? Please elaborate? @SW-User

@SW-User do you tead haruki Murakami? The windupbird chronicles was my sons favorite book