How does grief evolve/change over the years? I’ve lost a few people in recent years. I’m still...

Ive learned that you cannot hold onto the past. You grieve and you move on. I have been around death my entire life. As a kid i literally went to funerals like every 6 months or so. My oldest brother, several of.his friends died. He died as well. I lost my mom when i was 18 i had just left for college, she had a heart attack i was so distraught that i couldn't even concentrate on my studies. I lost my dad when i was 30. I've buried 2 kids, a son and a daughter. If i dwelled on all their deaths then i would not be able to function for my surviving 2 children. Its a part of life. My dad prepared me for his death. He would always say i might not be alive to see you grow up. He was 50 when i was born, my mom was 33.

MarbleMarvel

I lost my parents 5 & 6 years ago and I think it's different when it's your parents, especially my mom in my case. I've lost my uncle and two best friends also. It was easier to move past them than it has been with my parents. I still cry for them sometimes. I hate the holidays now. I was 35, had a little kid, I felt it really hard and it changed my life completely.

Losing crucial people when you're young changes you. I don't know if you get over it, I just try to remember they raised me to make it on my own.

SW-User

My mom was in two hospitals stay and one week in local nursing home and she passed away with cancer in matter of just 14 days. She was only 58 years old and I often wonder if she was sick for a longer time than what we know it makes me wonder at times but the grief for me comes and goes but it makes me wonder about things. We have to live on for them.

ninalanyon · 61-69, T

The grief becomes less acute and many of the memories fade. But the grief and many memories and some regrets remain in the background. I'm sixty nine, my mother died about thirty years ago and most of the time I do not think of her but every now and then something will jog my memory an a wave of emotion will roll over me.

Similarly, my wife died in 2017 and the subsequent seven years have blunted the sorrow. But occasionally I will come across something at the back of a cupboard or a book I know she was fond of and I will cry.

UBotMate

I think that the difference is in the length of time that you spend in grief. In the beginning it's all consuming. As time moves on it changes to being moments rather than constant. Those moments never stop, but they become infrequent enough that they don't put your life on hold. You never stop missing a loved one, you just reach a place where you don't let it stop you from living.

Of course, nothing is set in stone. It requires resolve to get past grief. You can stay in grief for a lifetime if you choose to. Healing is an organic process but you have to play your part as well.

being · 36-40, F

For me it's been the 10years milestone that's been completely liberating. Wasn't a parent though... But the only boyfriend I stayed with and lived with for about 5 years.
I haven't manage to hold any relationship other than one more, that lasted about 3 years..
The mark it's left has been tremendous. Though nowadays I define different reasons as to why I'm not making it in love, other than grief.

It can still happen that I cry about him but the frequency is really nothing noticeable. It's almost over, it never is, but the bardo, the ripples are lesser in such a degree that it's almost unnoticeable.

JamesBugman · 56-60, T

My life feels like multiple lives, each in its own silo. I was a kid, then a teen, then a young adult, then a mature adult, and aging adult and now I am an old man.
When I remember what it was like to be a kid, I only have spotty memories, like they were in a dream. All the things I have done, and even yesterday are behind me and though I learn from them, I do not dwell on any of it since I cannot change it.
Those that are lost are still here with me, in my memories, they will always be, until my memory is gone, then it is up to my kids to hold the candle.
Enjoy your life, don't sweat things you cannot change.

wonwonwonwow · 100+, M

I’ve lost a lot of people over the years. Some I could cry for hours over others not so much. At first grief hits hard but as years go by you think about them less often but when you do it feels stronger. It’s strange how time changes everything. But yeah you learn to carry it differently

exchrist · 31-35

I think the pain fades we learn to cope better as we move foreward. And in general become desenatized.

ITZXAO · 13-15, T

omg i feel so bad for you! you can ask be abt me im ok with telling ya!