How does grief evolve/change over the years?

I’ve lost a few people in recent years. I’m still pretty young, though. I sometimes wonder how my feelings will change over time. Like, my dad for example. Currently, I am someone whose dad has been around for ~basically~ all their life, except the past couple years. When I’m 60, I will have spent 50% of my life without my dad. I know I'm lucky to have gotten the time I did, but it's still a surreal thought. I don’t know if this is making sense to anyone but me haha. It just feels like such a deep change in my identity.

The other thing is I feel disbelief over how long it has been since these people have died. The first one was 5 years ago, but it feels so much more recent. My feelings about it have honestly only gotten stronger. I’m not thinking about it as frequently, but when I do I feel so much more. I dunno if that’s normal.

Anyway. I’m not looking for sympathy or anything. I’m fine- it’s just how life goes. I’m mainly curious about what other people’s experiences have been.

ninalanyon · 61-69, T

The grief becomes less acute and many of the memories fade. But the grief and many memories and some regrets remain in the background. I'm sixty nine, my mother died about thirty years ago and most of the time I do not think of her but every now and then something will jog my memory an a wave of emotion will roll over me.

Similarly, my wife died in 2017 and the subsequent seven years have blunted the sorrow. But occasionally I will come across something at the back of a cupboard or a book I know she was fond of and I will cry.