Sad
Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

How does grief evolve/change over the years?

I’ve lost a few people in recent years. I’m still pretty young, though. I sometimes wonder how my feelings will change over time. Like, my dad for example. Currently, I am someone whose dad has been around for ~basically~ all their life, except the past couple years. When I’m 60, I will have spent 50% of my life without my dad. I know I'm lucky to have gotten the time I did, but it's still a surreal thought. I don’t know if this is making sense to anyone but me haha. It just feels like such a deep change in my identity.


The other thing is I feel disbelief over how long it has been since these people have died. The first one was 5 years ago, but it feels so much more recent. My feelings about it have honestly only gotten stronger. I’m not thinking about it as frequently, but when I do I feel so much more. I dunno if that’s normal.


Anyway. I’m not looking for sympathy or anything. I’m fine- it’s just how life goes. I’m mainly curious about what other people’s experiences have been.
This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »
I think that the difference is in the length of time that you spend in grief. In the beginning it's all consuming. As time moves on it changes to being moments rather than constant. Those moments never stop, but they become infrequent enough that they don't put your life on hold. You never stop missing a loved one, you just reach a place where you don't let it stop you from living.

Of course, nothing is set in stone. It requires resolve to get past grief. You can stay in grief for a lifetime if you choose to. Healing is an organic process but you have to play your part as well.
Sylphrena · 31-35
@UBotMate That's true, getting over the grief is hard for me because it feels like I'm letting them go. I don't feel ready for that, and I suspect it will be a long time before I do.
@Sylphrena You're not letting anyone go by moving on. If they loved you then it's what they would want you to do and moving on is not forgetting. You take their memories with you. You don't have to live in something every moment for it to be important and meaningful.
Sylphrena · 31-35
@UBotMate oh, I'm aware it's not actually letting them go. It's just the feeling I have sometimes. Thank you though.