I'm usually taking responsibility for my actions but right now I can't help it

It's hard to know how much to give and how much to take.

Why not forgive yourself for it?
Why not cherish what it meant for you in that period, and acknowledge it wasn't meant to be more?
See what you learned from it. But not in the way that closes your heart. In the way that helps you grow.

I did notice you go from happy and energetic to jaded. I guess you really don't like your decisions.
Try not to beat yourself up. People do this kind of thing all the time.

You ramble, but that is not a fault. Next time rein it in. You know lots of guys just want sex. They do not want more than that. Choose slower and more wisely. You can acknowledge your loneliness and still move on. Wait until you meet a better man. It may be harder since you are a traveller, but remain open hearted not spontaneous. You must love you first, foremost. You matter. Surely you must know that? Now learn and move forward.

Wish I could give you a hug. I think we both need one. 🖤🫂

Mistakes happen. Learn from them, and move on.

So I guess this is what I am doing right ?
I will tend to it and take care of it

Then he injected you with another substance as well

At first as I was reading it seemed like you weren’t emotionally accepting of these men