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I Am A Crossdresser And I Like Me

I am finding it very hard to figure out where I fit in the grand scheme of the gender spectrum. I would say that I more fluid and don't hide myself that much no matter how I am dressed and present myself. I have tried to join communities online and in my area but it seems i somehow always say the wrong thing about myself that seems to make these community members pull away from me. The closest thing I can relate with right now seems to be a crossdresser, but even those communities pull away when i don't want to talk about my underwear every time I meet them. I'm just at the point where I'm going to do my own thing and associate with none. I prefer to walk a fine line of chaos and unpredictability and that is where I am comfortable. I'm getting tired of apologizing and finding new ways to explain who I am. Perhaps they can open their eyes and see for themselves who I am.
hosedsailorboy
I have found that this group of people known by a tremendous number of names but in the big picture of the LGBT world the T being Transgender seems encompass everyone who crossdresses, wants to be the opposite sex they were born, and anything and everything that might possibly be in between. I have experienced some of the strongest discriminatory and intolerant people among the very group who you would think would be the most accepting and tolerant. For example, I am very masculine and couldn't pass as a woman anymore than a smart car can pass a Ferrari, yet I love the way hose and most other women's underwear and or clothing feels on me. In the past I've tried to be in touch with some different groups and because I'm not "feminine" or I don't dress fully, or I'm not passable, etc. I have had some in these groups spew vitriol at me. A simple "sorry but you don't fit into our group" would have been sufficient in most cases and there was no need for the hate they were spewing.
I have found some friends on EP that I have had some great conversations with and they are one on one. If you want to be friends and chat about anything I'm just a message away... :)
Jessmari · 41-45
There is a air of elitism among general category groups. If you don't fit what they perceive is their perceived niche then they become just as horrid as the groups that seek to shut them out. I have ended up at the point where none of that matters and the only influence that is important now is what my head and heart say.
hosedsailorboy
I say to you: ROCK ON AND BE YOU!
NitaCD
WOW! And all this time I thought it was just me, or my imagination, but you know something hosedsailorboy, I think you are exactly right. Some of our own (if you can call them that) can be the ones who are most discriminatory and intolerant. While I haven't had the experience of anyone spewing vitriol directly at me I have definitely felt the undertones of discrimination, intolerance, and non acceptance. Once that we have accepted who we are ourselves all we really want is to be accepted by others. Especially, you would think, by others in the same or similar situations as our own. You just feel like you never know if you should be watching your back side or your front side. Its sad, and a very touchy situation to say the least.
KatieTreat
I don't fit in anywhere so I stopped trying. I figure if people want to know me, they'll just have to fit in with me. ;)
Jessmari · 41-45
I agree. I somehow keep tripping on the paths that are already laid down.
epjoni
There's nothing wrong with being gender fluid -- people don't know what to expect, because there is no current stereotype for it. I'm glad you can move forward courageously and be who you are. Sometime society will catch up with all the gender variants and explanations will be the exception, rather than the rule - patience! That day will come!
Jessmari · 41-45
Perhaps one day, but I'm far too impatient to wait for society to come around.
epjoni
Many people resist change and seek security in the status quo. Others will vigorously defend out of date values and notions because they grew up with them. Society does change. It just takes time.
silkydrawers
I share your frustration. I have tried many avenues myself and I never seem to fit in.
I have tried gay bars where they accept crossdressers but found myself being attacked by gay men who were hell bent on putting their hands up my skirt.
I have gone to support group meetings and found them very boring. I enjoyed being out in a pretty dress but just found myself sitting in the back corner feeling like a wall flower.
I have met other crossdressers and found their only interest was to get into my panties.
It just would be nice to have a close friend with whom you could share a lot of common interests and crossdressing being only one of them and not the major focus of the friendship.
NitaCD
I whole heartily agree! Although its more than likely that the chance of this happening is slim to none.
This is something I've wrestled with myself. I identify as a crossdresser. But some days, it doesn't quite seem to fit. More than one friend has suggested they view me as a transsexual. I try not to over think it, but there is a ton of sexual psycho-babble out there to make your head spin.

I'm in a similar boat as to doing more and more of what I want, worrying less and less about what others may think.
Jessmari · 41-45
@BizSuitStacy Those who don't know or are ignorant of crossdressing often tend to look for labels that don't always fit. I try to give them a pass as best I can mostly because educating them only works if they genuinely care to learn.
@Jessmari sadly, we tend to try to categorize people, including ourselves. We like it when things fit neatly into a box, but it marginalizes people...particularly those of us who don't fit completely into predefined social constructs.

A lot of people don't understand crossdressers. I get it. It's not like we come with a user manual. I always try to explain it to those who ask, but very few ever do.
Jessmari · 41-45
@BizSuitStacy I try not to play the sjw or wounded animal (even though it happens anyway) in this matter, but it absoluutely can be frustrating.
Speingo
I share your problem. This gender spectrum seems to mean finding a particular box, joining a club, and locking the door. What if things weren't so cut and dried. I don't know where I am on the spectrum and I don't have a box. I am married and playing a particular role which seems to make everyone happy, not that anybody really cares a lot. Were I free to do so, I don't know what I would do, but I would like to be free to find out.
SamanthaPrincess · 51-55, T
I am in the same boat. I don't care anymore what others think about crossdressing. It's what we are and proud of it. I had many posts here few months back that I deleted coz of people but not all. There have been few people who were and still are good but am over with this hypocrite society.
Jessmari · 41-45
@SamanthaPrincess True enough. Might as well be happy :)
tghubby
Well Jessica there is nothing wrong with being a crossdresser and it is a plus that you accept that you are and are gender fluid. And if you like to talk about underwear, that' great too. I do too ...
Lee
Jessmari · 41-45
Think you may have missed my point a bit. However your point is still very valid and perhaps my example was a little short sighted. I just find it hard to make something like that the bond to develop friendships in my opinion.
SandyBG
All you can do is be yourself.
Hopefully the rest of us can recognize our similarities, accept our differences, and share our insights about being transgendered, to help each other grow into our best selves.
rlt171720
That is sad. You should have nothing to apologize for. You are what you are. A lot of those that know me as Rhonda, are gay and most of the Lesbian appeared to love and excepted more then those that are male. Partly because I was considered an Female Impersonator by girls. I suppose what I am trying to say is this. No one really fit this or that, unless they try to fit.
I am a Transgender, Cross Dresser, Transvestite, Drag Queen, as well Sissy and Fairy, ( two term I have heard from my Dad's times). I can under all of theses
Jessmari · 41-45
I'm not sure that I apologize, but many folks have different preset view on what is what. This often means rewording things for their understanding.

I'm currently going with batman in a skirt.
AmySatinpants · 70-79, M
Well said. You don't have to explain anything. I accept you just as you are.
Jessmari · 41-45
@AmySatinpants Thank you, Amy 🤗

 
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