I Am A Crossdresser And I Like Me

I am finding it very hard to figure out where I fit in the grand scheme of the gender spectrum. I would say that I more fluid and don't hide myself that much no matter how I am dressed and present myself. I have tried to join communities online and in my area but it seems i somehow always say the wrong thing about myself that seems to make these community members pull away from me. The closest thing I can relate with right now seems to be a crossdresser, but even those communities pull away when i don't want to talk about my underwear every time I meet them. I'm just at the point where I'm going to do my own thing and associate with none. I prefer to walk a fine line of chaos and unpredictability and that is where I am comfortable. I'm getting tired of apologizing and finding new ways to explain who I am. Perhaps they can open their eyes and see for themselves who I am.