I Am A Crossdresser And I Like Me

I am finding it very hard to figure out where I fit in the grand scheme of the gender spectrum. I would say that I more fluid and don't hide myself that much no matter how I am dressed and present myself. I have tried to join communities online and in my area but it seems i somehow always say the wrong thing about myself that seems to make these community members pull away from me. The closest thing I can relate with right now seems to be a crossdresser, but even those communities pull away when i don't want to talk about my underwear every time I meet them. I'm just at the point where I'm going to do my own thing and associate with none. I prefer to walk a fine line of chaos and unpredictability and that is where I am comfortable. I'm getting tired of apologizing and finding new ways to explain who I am. Perhaps they can open their eyes and see for themselves who I am.

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hosedsailorboy

I have found that this group of people known by a tremendous number of names but in the big picture of the LGBT world the T being Transgender seems encompass everyone who crossdresses, wants to be the opposite sex they were born, and anything and everything that might possibly be in between. I have experienced some of the strongest discriminatory and intolerant people among the very group who you would think would be the most accepting and tolerant. For example, I am very masculine and couldn't pass as a woman anymore than a smart car can pass a Ferrari, yet I love the way hose and most other women's underwear and or clothing feels on me. In the past I've tried to be in touch with some different groups and because I'm not "feminine" or I don't dress fully, or I'm not passable, etc. I have had some in these groups spew vitriol at me. A simple "sorry but you don't fit into our group" would have been sufficient in most cases and there was no need for the hate they were spewing.
I have found some friends on EP that I have had some great conversations with and they are one on one. If you want to be friends and chat about anything I'm just a message away... :)

Speingo

I agree. It is amazing how people who are supposed to be quite tolerant are often just as intolerant as people you would expect to be intolerant. I keep thinking that there is somewhere out there where people can find acceptance, for now there's this online community in the isolation of anonymity, were that there would be a place to go.

Jessmari · 46-50

There is a air of elitism among general category groups. If you don't fit what they perceive is their perceived niche then they become just as horrid as the groups that seek to shut them out. I have ended up at the point where none of that matters and the only influence that is important now is what my head and heart say.

hosedsailorboy

I say to you: ROCK ON AND BE YOU!

NitaCD

WOW! And all this time I thought it was just me, or my imagination, but you know something hosedsailorboy, I think you are exactly right. Some of our own (if you can call them that) can be the ones who are most discriminatory and intolerant. While I haven't had the experience of anyone spewing vitriol directly at me I have definitely felt the undertones of discrimination, intolerance, and non acceptance. Once that we have accepted who we are ourselves all we really want is to be accepted by others. Especially, you would think, by others in the same or similar situations as our own. You just feel like you never know if you should be watching your back side or your front side. Its sad, and a very touchy situation to say the least.