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So last month

I told my son and his girlfriend that I wanted my house back and March was the date to be moved out.

My son panicked and we worked out a deal. He is either enrolled and going to school full time or working in a career directed job. Otherwise, he is paying $300 a month. If he starts and quits, it's $300 a month. He is almost 30 and working as a pizza delivery driver. He has all these goals he wants to reach, but ends up spending his time smoking weed and playing video games. He really needs to take control of his future.

But his girlfriend needs to move. I want my spaces back. I don't believe she is still together with my son. They rarely do things together anymore and my son was more than happy to have her move out. I think once she is out, that relationship will be over.

I am excited thinking about how I can have all my kitchen cabinets and drawers back. How I can have my craft room back. How I can enjoy the rest of my house again.

I can even move my altar into another part of the house and get my bedroom back in order.

I hate putting my foot down, but I am much happier with my decision.
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SageWanderer · 70-79, M
Not only putting your foot down but setting boundaries. And as an added note, you have worked for and deserve your own space.
FreddieUK · 70-79, M
You have definitely done the right thing. Being a loving parent isn't always easy or comfortable. I hope it works out well for you and him.
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FoxyGoddess · 51-55, F
@Amyrakunejo I don't diss his job, but he keeps saying he wants a professional career, then bails. Every time. I want to support him, but after 8 years, he needs to show some initiative and motivation. Something he won't do if I don't make him.

And I understand about the girlfriend. She is very clingy, and the fact they haven't been spending time together tells me that it is fairly over. I care about her, but shr is a hoarder and my house is paying the price.
He is almost 30 and working as a pizza delivery driver.
You personally may not be, but that right there, is definitely a diss based on stereotypes, @FoxyGoddess. There may be people that may take an even deeper offense to it (it takes a lot to offend me and this here was didn't meet that quota), but not I; I just observed something amiss with the statement is all.

As far as the 'professional' career goes, in what field, exactly? This requires more than passing words...
Honestly, I would look into occupational therapy; never too late for that.

The GF needs a therapist too. No doubt in my mind. NOT THAT ANY OF THIS IS EASY.
To those that say, "jUsT gEt A jOb", WHY DON'T YOU TRY IT!? WHY DON'T YOU GO OUT OF YOUR DAMNED COMFORT ZONE!??!? But you don't, so I don't wanna hear it.
(yes the peanut gallery irritates me at times)
FoxyGoddess · 51-55, F
@Amyrakunejo He's been wanting a customer service job or a paralegal job or even work as an electrician, but has done nothing to work towards those jobs. CS seems like the easiest to get into, but he hasn't been able to. I'm not sure what else to say. He has stated these as his objectives, but really hasn't done much to acquire any of them.

And yes, she does need therapy. There are quite a few things she needs to have addressed.
Livingwell · 61-69, M
Good for you mom!!! I've been there. You've worked too hard to have someone depend on you financially. He needs to grow up.
AbstractWave · 61-69, M
Sounds positive and you have to put your foot down. It sounds like the girlfriend was likely an issue. Keep an eye on the possible substance abuse issue. Keep your foot down !!
Teslin · M
Yes, great decision !!
It's one thing helping a 30 year old get on his feet, but it seems like enough is enough. Now, stick to your plan 😊
Nick1 · 61-69, M
Sometimes they need kick start. Probably your son needed that. Hope he gets his life back and works towards achieving his goals. You are a caring mother and know what is good for your son. 👍
romell · 51-55, M
It's good you made it clear what's acceptable what's not ..parenting doesn't mean mollycoddle kids so much that they become good for nothing.
Prince0217 · M
👍Sounds great ! It's about taking those tough decisions and following through.
samueltyler2 · 80-89, M
Good for you. Tough love is tough!
Matt85 · 36-40, M
Sounds like a good plan. :)
smileylovesgaming · 31-35, F
How do you expect him to make at least $2000 a month for rent working at pizza Hut
samueltyler2 · 80-89, M
@FoxyGoddess I think it has gotten a little bit better, but so few really make the big time.

I used to attend open drawing studios, many of the models were dancers or musicians who supplemented their incomes by posing.
FoxyGoddess · 51-55, F
@samueltyler2 Yeah, being in the artist trade often means lots of different gigs, but it isn't impossible to make money.
samueltyler2 · 80-89, M
@FoxyGoddess our friend's kid just doesn't push hisvart properly. He does work as a DJ and bartender but pays no rent to his folks.

 
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