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This is truly hard letting go

I realize I've posted a lot on my dad's hospice and his new cancer diagnosis. But tonight it was beyond painstaking Bec he can barely breathe from pneumonia on top of it. Day after day the congestion gets worse.
He's on morphine but they had to increase the dose.
Yesterday and today is the first time he's not able to talk. Yesterday just was asleep six hours straight and today could only mumble things weakly, could barely understand. I'm pretty sure he said Love you.
I saw a tear at the corner of his closed eyes an hour later. He's moaning occasionally, and the cancer is very rapid.
I'd give anything to stop his pain.
I'm sending you calming vibes Dad, to sleep tonight the best you can, and I love you. Thank you 🫂💜
Baybreeze
41-45, F
21 replies 96 views 1 day ago1 d
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VersesAndBruises · 100+, F Best Comment
Please don’t apologize for sharing. This is heavy, devastating, and real. This is a free place to share, and I hope you know that you have people who care and are willing to listen and be with you as you try to work through this.


My heart absolutely breaks for you reading this. 💔 Watching someone you love suffer like that is a pain no one should ever have to carry. I wish I had the words to make it better, to take away the pain, but coming from someone who had to watch someone they love die, there are no words to make it better at all.

Even if he can’t speak much right now, I truly believe he feels your love — in your voice, your touch, and every moment you sit beside him. That tear says so much. And hearing “love you,” even whispered, is something to hold close forever.


You don’t have to walk through it alone. I’m sending you so much love, strength, and comfort right now, and peaceful vibes to your dad. May he rest as gently as possible, and may you feel surrounded by care during this unbearable time. 🤗
+ 6 · Reply · Translate · 1 day ago1 d
Baybreeze · 41-45, F
@VersesAndBruises Thank you, I couldn't believe he was able to murmure Love you, because yesterday he didn't even wake up once while I was there six hours. It meant so much. And your true kindness does too. Thank you truly 🌹
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · 1 day ago1 d
SageWanderer · 70-79, M
I watched my father suffer in much the same way as the cancer took him. Then my wife suffered from septicemia in hospice. As difficult as it is to let them go unfortunately you have to realize the only peace they will get is in death. I’m sending positive vibes to both of you to ease his suffering and your strength.
+ 2 · Reply · Translate · 1 day ago1 d
Jenny1234 · 56-60, F
I’m sorry you’re going through this. Please don’t apologize. It is completely normal for you to want to talk about something as significant and emotional as your father’s illness. We’re all here for you and you don’t have to go through this alone.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · 4 hrs ago4 h
Baybreeze · 41-45, F
@Jenny1234 I really appreciate that🌷
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · 3 hrs ago3 h
Stephie · 22-25, F
No words can relieve the emotional pain of knowing that a loved one is suffering and that one cannot do anything to help with that physical pain.

All here at SW are with you in thoughts and wish you to find the force to find your inner peace and the strength not to despair.
+ 3 · Reply · Translate · 21 hrs ago21 h
Baybreeze · 41-45, F
@Stephie Thank you so much. ♥
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · 20 hrs ago20 h
Convivial · 26-30, F
You have to let him go hun... Tell him it's ok to move on and not prolong his suffering and yours anymore... Let him know you'll miss him but time to let go...
Hugs
+ 3 · Reply · Translate · 1 day ago1 d
Cigarguy · 41-45, M
I'm so sorry you are going through this. I wish I had the prefect words to say but I don't. I hope that he finds peace and you as well.
+ 3 · Reply · Translate · 1 day ago1 d
FreeorLonely · 51-55, F
I’m so sorry, I know this is beyond painful. Sending you warm hugs. 🫂🫂🫂🫂
+ 3 · Reply · Translate · 1 day ago1 d
chuck7882 · 61-69, M
Please post as often as you feel like it. It can be very theraputic to write things down. People here have the option of reading what they want to read. I hope nobody has criticized you for
this
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · 12 hrs ago12 h
Baybreeze · 41-45, F
@chuck7882 Thank you, it's the only way I'm trying to get through it. He probably only has a day or two left. I'm supposed to help a friend with her dog in a few days when she goes away, but not sure how I'll get through... hopefully my anxiety won't be too high. Ty for your kindness
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · 11 hrs ago11 h
chuck7882 · 61-69, M
@Baybreeze take it from someone who has lost both parents. Staying busy does help
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · 11 hrs ago11 h
Guardian
I wish I had the right words to ease what you're both going through. I hope you find peace and comfort soon.🫂
+ 2 · Reply · Translate · 18 hrs ago18 h
uncalled4 · 56-60, M
This isn't easy. You're not getting judged for it(though I realize your brain/nervous system goes there).

No one can tell you how to go through it. It's your very own process.
+ 2 · Reply · Translate · 1 day ago1 d
Ravens80 · 46-50, F
Rest easy knowing the lord will ease his pain soon. It sucks so bad to see this happening and the pain he’s going through is just wrong. Cancer is such a mean and cruel disease. I’m so sorry 😞 sending love to you!
+ 2 · Reply · Translate · 1 day ago1 d
Pfuzylogic · M
What a fortunate Father.
He knows you are there.
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · 23 hrs ago23 h
Diotrephes · 70-79, M
This is why medical assisted suicide should be easily available in every State. You don't get a gold medal for suffering when you're dying.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · 1 day ago1 d
Baybreeze · 41-45, F
@Diotrephes It's agonizing. It was just heartbreaking seeing him moan and mumble, he couldn't even speak. Then sleep all day through phlegm filled breathing. I hope my words to him and holding his hand even gave a fraction comfort.
+ 2 · Reply · Translate · 1 day ago1 d
Diotrephes · 70-79, M
@Baybreeze
It's agonizing.

I've been through lots of such events with my own family members, the last one being my wife of 39 years. When it's my time I hope it takes less than a minute overall.

As I've said before, all relationships will end, either in death or in divorce (includes friendships as well as marriages). The best thing survivors can do is to live their lives in ways that will have made their loved ones proud. Honor your father by living a good and decent life.

As it says in Sirach (CEB) =
Sirach 7:34 = "Walk beside those who weep, and mourn with those who mourn."

Sirach 22:12 = "Mourn for the dead for seven days, but mourn for the foolish and the ungodly all the days of their lives."

Sirach 38:16 = "On mourning
My child, let your tears flow for the dead; as one who is suffering terribly, give voice to your sorrow. Lay out their bodies in accordance with their wishes, and don’t neglect their burial."

Sirach 38:17 = "Let your crying be bitter and express your sorrow fervently, and make your mourning worthy of them. Mourn for one day or two so that there can be no criticism, and then be comforted from your grief."

I'm still mourning for my wife after 2 3/4 years. Maybe I will join her soon.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · 11 hrs ago11 h
pdockal · 56-60, M
🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂
+ 2 · Reply · Translate · 1 day ago1 d
 
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