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Post a comment and I will give you advice

If your comment actually includes a problem the advice may be more useful. Or not. IDK I just work here.
@HijabaDabbaDoo i feel dat homie. Stay peepin out here 🙏 Shit we all different but we all thinkin. It's understanding n shit
@CountScrofula I worked with a inclusive leadership, coaching psychologist who didn't like diversity and inclusion training in work places because a lot of studies found that people double down on their biases when brought to the surface through deception.
The training advertises learning about diversity but has negative emotions surfacing in people that they're not ready to face in a setting where they often feel like they have to show their best.
The more productive alternative was exposure to the group/demographics they had biases towards but whether that's feasible, I don't know.
At least it teaches you how to conduct yourself in a personal setting, within reason of course.
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
@HijabaDabbaDoo I completely agree with that. Rule 1, don't insult anyone's intelligence. The best diversity training out there is not going to succeed in a workplace where the bosses are all straight white men and everyone who is not is lower-ranked. People will immediately see that "Oh it's diversity for me and not for thee" and reject the training.

This is beyond backfire effect or any other form of psychological resistance to the training.

Like my employer has a gigantic equity, diversity, inclusion initiative, is pushing unconscious bias training on everyone, and we all know it is *utter* bullshit.

It's a cheat. These are issues of structure and culture, not the unrelated perception of a bunch of individuals.
tacobell · 26-30, M
How do you forgive myself when random bad memories appear? Legit losing my mind
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
@tacobell I find a part of forgiving yourself is externalizing. What do you tell someone else who has been through similar shit? Like if a friend comes to you and says he's suffering because of some rough shit in the past and can't forgive himself - do you think he should forgive himself? We all just hate ourselves a lil bit extra.

And frankly, just building around it, creating a new life, and accepting. Accepting is first step to forgiveness.
tacobell · 26-30, M
@ChiefWalksWith40oz [quote] I get the feeling you're the type who would take your pain all over again if it could save somebody else from it.
[/quote] yeah that's me man.
@CountScrofula appreciate both you thank you
QueenOfQuirk · 22-25, F
how do i stop wanting my roomate who i got chemistry with, like he wants it too but there are other ppl in the house too 💀
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
@QueenOfQuirk How long have you known him?
QueenOfQuirk · 22-25, F
@CountScrofula technically a month
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
@QueenOfQuirk So my sage advice is get to know the dude more because if you end up fucking and he's got some MASSIVE RED FLAG you're stuck living with him.
KingofPizza2 · 36-40, M
I need more post ideas, and they’ve got to be original - not just more reheating of pizza and seahorse reproduction. Help what do I do?
talktomenice · 26-30, F
How do I forget my ex that used to compulsively lie to me
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
@talktomenice You won't. You need to accept that this is a part of your life, who you are, and instead build around it and find the stronger you who can move forwards. It's not about forgetting, it's about being used to the memory so you don't particularly care about it any more.

And really, the best way to do that is be busy, do things that make you happy, and keep moving forwards.
[c=359E00]i need example to make a good business plan. In the future i want to have a cafe and i'd need money for that, so i need to make a good business plan to attract investor[/c]
@CountScrofula [c=359E00]okay thank you, so basicly it's about target market, SWOT analysis and marketing strategy. And figure out about waste management and reliable supplier[/c]
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
@YukikoAmagi Pretty much. A cafe must be thought of as a business first and a creative exercise second.
@CountScrofula [c=359E00]noted. I'll ask again when i get stuck lol[/c]
what's the best way to clean a trombone 😹
KingofPizza2 · 36-40, M
@lovelywarpedlemon I know this one! Boil the mouthpiece every once in a while, give the rest of it a bath and scrub the insides with those pipe cleaner type brushes I’m blanking on the name of, dry thoroughly, then re-grease the slides.

(If it has any thumb valve attachments you’ll need to be a bit more careful to make sure not to mess that up with water)
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
@KingofPizza2 Mouthpiece can be scrubbed out with toothpaste for routine cleaning. Main horn can be soaked in lukewarm water before scrubbing out
Viper · M
I struggle with motivation, especially to actually do things...
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
@Viper You and me both pal. I find that making myself busier helps me get shit done because I get in "go mode" and don't slow down. If I have one thing to do I will never do it.
KiwiDan · 26-30, M
Please advice me. I'm sad and smol and unlovable
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
@KiwiDan You need to find some self-confidence and to do so a part of that is incrementally building on things you may have some inclination and be good at, and putting in hours. Also just like, getting out there and finding social scenes through community groups or volunteering or whatever. It's not easy, but you gotta build up. Start small, but start doing new stuff that helps you build yourself up.

"Nobody will ever want me" is a self-fulfilling prophecy. And getting out of that mindset means focusing on new stuff.
Miram · 31-35, F
Miram · 31-35, F
@CountScrofula pretty sure I have too many goals and the oppressive part is not just a feeling 🤔
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
@Miram Let's face it the world sucks. And by goals I mean immediate, short-term, and tangible.
Miram · 31-35, F
@CountScrofula Interesting
AntisocialTroll · 51-55, F
I could use some sage words please.
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
@AntisocialTroll Never pet a burning dog, and listen to a full album of a kind of music you've never heard at least once a month keeps your brain goin'.
Hit me ‘ask poly’…
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
@TheOneyouwerewarnedabout All things being equal, do whatever is more fun.
humidtiddies · 22-25, F
how to stop drinking
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
@humidtiddies Booze fucks ya up man. My dad can barely walk now because of a lifetime of alcohol abuse and his brain ain't what it was. But you know it's bad. How to stop.

I think alcoholics anonymous sucks. Rehab isn't as bad but costs money. Frankly, a lot of what you need is something to [i]replace[/i] the alcohol with, whether it be some kind of hobby or activity with friends or alone, a routine, or even just non-addictive shit like pot. It doesn't make the cravings stop, but it makes them easier to deal with. You can do that day by day and put more distance between you and the last drink until it's no longer a dominant urge.
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
@PepsiColaP Shitty impossibly complicated situations can be resolved often by just fucking leaving. When people say "how do I say X" what they really mean is "how do I muster the courage to do X" and it's just... doing it and living with the consequences. part of being alive.
PepsiColaP · 22-25, F
@CountScrofula its not shitty and i dont want to leave
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
@PepsiColaP Well then clearly my advice doesn't apply 'cause I'm tryna find generic pieces of wisdom that can apply to anyone lol. If life is good, keep being awesome!
DeluxedEdition · 26-30, F
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
@DeluxedEdition Political differences are usually pretty skin-deep. We're all mad about the same shit, we're just blaming different people for it.
DeluxedEdition · 26-30, F
@CountScrofula honestly true 🧐
summersong · F
I need all the advice
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
@summersong You're going into a point of major career change in your life, take advantage of that and try to build in some space for new things that bring you joy and give you some structure and happiness.
ginnyfromtheblock · 22-25, F
YOU DO THIS FOR FREE??
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
@ginnyfromtheblock Oh no I'm charging all these fuckers.

My advice is go to Italy and have the time of your goddamn life.
OrMaybeIDid · 26-30, F
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
@OrMaybeIDid The shittier the country, the more expensive the visa.

Or in short, many things in life or people you know that are an irritating pain in the ass to deal with are rarely worth the reward.
calicuz · 51-55, M
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
@Latebloomer Reading your comment about your work friend that's... really not great.

You've basically got two choices here. You can either distance yourself from him, or you can try to keep things where they were before you went out for drinks. To do the latter you will need to tell him that he was really inappropriate and unsafe.

Also what the hell don't go out with one other person and then get 10x as drunk.

I hope you're okay?
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
@TurtleDreams Don't block the cool people :P Seriously though life decisions are best looked at through the lens of (what would 30 year old me do with this) and we never think that way when we're young. But it helps. Add 10 years to a situation, what's it look like?
Wiseacre · F
Should I get an EV? The pros and cons, pls...
how do i stop being a hoe
Leggs · 46-50, F
@mydikisbiggerthanurs quit sucking on all those big luscious penises. There are other ways to earn money.
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
@V00doo Just sayin the women on SW should unionize. So many of you have dealt with the same creeps and those who wanna, same pool of viable relationships. Together y'all could rule this place.
@CountScrofula We could. Some of us do. It works for a while until jealousy gets involved. Then women hate women.
iamonfire696 · 36-40, F
How do I get past the feeling of knowing I am not enough?
Leggs · 46-50, F
@iamonfire696 are you enough for yourself? Are you important to yourself? Keep in mind that nothing is ever good enough for anybody else so it's not like everybody else is just smooth sailing while you are left behind. Basically you have to care enough about yourself to know that you are enough

 
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